We went and visited a couple of friends out in the midwest this weekend. I have a long standing fear/loathing of the midwest in general. Like most east coasters I see the midwest as this vast wasteland of conservative christians and rednecks. But we were invited out, deep into the heartland, by a lesbian couple we became friends with on vacation last year. And so we went to the midwest for a few days.
Now the town we visited is notoriously a liberal pocket among the vast conservative land out there, and we hung out with gays and lesbians by majority, so it wasn’t your usual midwestern experience. But of course this made it far more fun and relaxing than any midwestern sojourn I’ve taken before. For once, I have hope for the midwest. It’s not all scary and conservative. There are cool people hidden out there. I had a great time – mainly because of all the wonderful company (and beer, lots of good microbrew beers).
What did I notice about the midwest? Well there seems to be a larger (pun intended) than usual amount of obese people. Many midwesterners are LARGE. I mean, we have fat people all around the east coast, but most are merely chubby in comparison to some of the people I saw out west. I felt svelte and I never feel svelte. Of course, this is probably due to the fact that they eat/feed you a lot (I swear I gained weight out there) and put meat in EVERYTHING. Cows and pigs don’t stand a chance out there. Those of you who know me well know I don’t eat red meat, but as of late I’ve gotten a little bit flexible with pork products… thank god because I’d have had bugger all to eat out there at the barbecues we went to. You’d think someone would put a chicken on the barbecue – nope. Something as simple as cheesy potatoes has to have tons of bacon in it. I’ve eaten more pork this past weekend than I’ve eaten in the past 20 years – and that was just due to incidental bits in things like cheesy potatoes and baked beans. My poor porcine friends.
It rained off and on the whole time we were there, so we didn’t get to travel around the state a bit as originally planned. We did go see a movie (Year of the Dog with Molly Shannon. Terrible movie. Skip it.) and do a little shopping. Funny how I had to travel all the way to the middle of the country to go shopping at a British imports store.
I had a far better time than I thought I would – and again that was due to our friends being wonderful and their friends being wonderful. I have hope for the midwest. Maybe with people like that out there they’ll some day catch up with the progressive parts of the country. Hey, even little pockets of progressive people is good.
Thing is, I’m still radical in comparison. Everyone we met was evidently monogamous or of that usual societal mindset of pursuing monogamy. I’m very happily polyamorous/non-monogamous and I realize that in most circles that makes me weird. An outsider. Time for a poly pride movement.
Yet again I’ve had the experience of someone I’m dating somehow knowing someone who knows the guy who assaulted me. I have to just accept that the local slut world is small enough that I’m going to stumble upon this guy’s name – if not run into him in person – now and then. I have to have a plan as to how I’m going to react when I run into this guy. (I want to punch him in the face, in an attempt to break his nose, but who knows if I’ll do that. I’ve never punched anyone in my life.)
The good side is that news of the assault is out to two guys I’m dating right now and both have been very supportive. I feel it’s like a litmus test to see how a guy reacts to the news of what happened to me.
This morning, I woke up determined to be happy and do good things. I can’t undo the bad that’s been done to me, but I can put some good energy out into the world to counteract that. I was sure to exercise, which makes me feel stronger physically and emotionally and I threw myself into my story time today at work. I am a good person. I can do good in the world. And to hell with the bad people out there – I’m gonna have a good life because I can.
I went out on a date Friday night, not thinking anything would come of it. He’s 45, 11 years my senior, and not really my “type” but we’d emailed a little off and on for over a year and he suggested we get together to see if there’s any chemistry between us. He offered to pay my train fare and to treat me to dinner – I figured that’s not a bad deal so what the heck. I thought that we’d at least get along as friends so it wouldn’t be an unpleasant evening.
We made our way to the restaurant, stopping at a liquor store to buy some wine to go with dinner. The restaurant was easily the smallest I’ve ever been in and that’s saying a lot after some of the New York City restaurants I’ve been to. We ordered, they uncorked our first bottle of wine and we sat talking and sipping wine. At that point I was enjoying myself but I still didn’t think that we’d hook up or anything like that. Dinner was nice, the conversation was fun, the wine went to my head. Had I been more open to it, I think I would have realized by then that there was some chemistry going on.
He went outside to smoke a cigarette while I used the bathroom. Once outside I commented on how he was smoking (we had been talking about it earlier – I don’t really care for smoking but I had admitted that sometimes kissing a smoker brings back memories of other smokers I’ve kissed and so it’s not entirely unpleasant). He said, “And if you want you can taste it” and pulled me in for a kiss. Wow. He is one damn good kisser. The kiss changed everything – it was a long, lingering sensual kiss and after that the date was definitely going what you would call well.
We walked along the park for a while, talking, arm in arm. I was aware of the fact that we were in the vicinity of where he lived and sure enough he invited me in. By this time I was going along with the gut feeling I had had all week – that the date was going to go better than I thought and that I’d end up going to bed with him. Inside his apartment, he lit some candles, opened the other bottle of wine and put on some classical music. His grown daughter lives with him (this is the first time I’ve dated someone with grown children) but had messaged him that she’d be out for a while. After some passionate kissing on the sofa he suggested moving into the bedroom and being my usual slutty self I was all to happy to go along. *grin*
The sex was hot and I was loud until we heard his daughter come in – wouldn’t want to freak her out thinking about the fact that her dad was having sex in the next room. Might be a little awkward. Ok a lot awkward. So I kept quiet. Davey joked the next day that this guy is a FILF – Father I’d Like to Fuck. Ha ha. Yes I’ve had my first FILF now. We went for two rounds and then he drove me home. I really enjoyed the entire night and now I find myself dating someone new – someone I hadn’t really expected to be dating. Life is funny. You never know who you’re going to have chemistry with.
After not seeing Davey for a weekend I was really glad to see him. Of course having sex was on the agenda as was cuddle time. He warned me ahead of time that he wanted to go two rounds and while I don’t generally tire out after one there was one time recently he managed to tire me out. It’s not a bad reflection on him that he doesn’t wear me out most of the time – most men don’t – and it’s an excellent reflection on him that he managed to tire me out once. So the heads up was appreciated although I had been horny all weekend (and none of my attempts at getting a friend with benefits over for a booty call worked out) and I was certainly up for some serious shagging.
After some wonderful cunnilingus and one round of passionate sex that was fun, passionate and orgasmic – all the things sex should be – we cuddled naked and chatted for a while. I got really mellow so when Davey asked if I was up for another round I wasn’t feeling one way or another about it, just mellow. But I wasn’t feeling specifically not like having sex so Davey suggested he get my bullet vibe (my favorite toy) and that helped get me going again. I asked to be on top and we did that position for a while, then I asked for doggy style and we did that until he accidentally slammed his penis into my pubic bone (ouch). Luckily he was fine after a few seconds and we switched to missionary. (Say what you will about missionary, it’s such a frequently used position because it works. I like missionary a whole lot.) By now I was well worked up and during a particularly intense orgasm I squirted, no, gushed, a freakin’ river.
I was so impressed by the amount of liquid that orgasmed out of my body in two or three squirts that I took a photograph of the resulting spot on the bed.
Yes, that’s about the width of a pillow. My butt was where the big spot in the middle is and the two “wings” on either side are where it flowed out from between my legs around the outside of my thighs. I’m freakin’ impressed. Needless to say, we changed the sheets after that. I think even if we had remembered to put a towel down it would have just soaked through.
She’s a librarian! No, she’s a water fountain! Nadia is just so versatile! LOL
Apropos post over at Eros Blog. The Japanese even have a word for the liquid that squirts out during female ejaculation – shio.
Here We Pretend Stupidity Does Not Exist
Security guard: Ma’am, you can’t use your cell phone in here.
Frumpy mom: What? I can’t? In the whole library? Why can’t you use your cell phone in the library?
–Library, 23rd St
Overheard by: Liberry Lady
via Overheard in New York, May 11, 2007
I had fun today trading emails with a 23-year-old guy on a dating site. While I generally prefer guys my own age, I’m old enough to think that it’s kinda hot to go to bed with some hot, young guy. Yes, I have a Mrs. Robinson fantasy. While I’m not quite old enough to live that out, this does fit in with that fantasy… Who knows if anything will come of talking to this guy, after all I haven’t dropped the h-bomb on him yet, but it’s been fun feeling like the sexy, experienced, older woman for the first time. He also has a thing for librarian-types in glasses. And he’s interested in exploring his kinky side. Did he stumble upon the right woman or not?
I updated my photos on one site so I’m getting scads of replies right now. It makes me feel really good to be wanted. Heck, Davey always wants me, but the sheer numbers of interest is a real ego boost. Most of the guys I’m not particularly interested in, but how lucky to be a woman – I don’t think men get to pick and choose as much. I know Davey’s just hoping to get a response from someone who lives in the same state for a change.
So I heard from the Latina this week – twice. She actually followed up about plans just a couple of days after I replied to her email. Will wonders never cease! I’m really happy as I have to admit, I really like her. 
All the garbage a while back about being over her? Lies, all lies. 
Just wishful thinking at the time. Just putting on a brave face. We’ll see where things go from here!
While catching up on the sexy blogs I like to read (Bondage Blog, Spanking Blog and Eros Blog) I stumbled across the pseudonym of the guy who assaulted me. I can’t fucking escape him! Sounds like he’s still busy seducing much younger women. Whatta scuzz as someone once commented on this blog. (Still curious to know who left that comment. Anyone, anyone, Bueller?) I suppose he has to get them while they’re naive. Very few people on this planet disgust me like he does. Scum.
Otherwise I’m hanging in there. Still ups and downs with free-floating anxiety. My therapist has the theory that since things are going well and I’m feeling strong that my subconscious is dredging up stuff to deal with now that I have the strength. Doesn’t sound too far fetched actually. I’m trying to take the tranquilizer only when absolutely needed. Tempted to now after having the assault dredged up again, but I think I’m strong enough to ride this out. I refuse to let him lower my quality of life any more. Bastard.
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