Diary of a Kinky Librarian

(I’m back dating this entry to Saturday, when I actually wrote it. Shortly I’ll follow this up with an entry on how much better the weekend got.)

I was hoping to have more sexy stories to share with you, but unfortunately last night my back bothered me a great deal and I was depressed. I discovered yet another reason why it’s wonderful to have a doctor for a Dom, he can use his knowledge of anatomy to give you one fantastic back massage. He really presses and digs in where it needs to be loosened up and I feel much better immediately afterward.

I think I’ve been nursing a bit of a depression for at least several days now, but it didn’t dawn on me until last night. I felt incapacitated by the depression (and the backache didn’t help). I started to feel guilty that I wasn’t taking care of MasterDoc like I should (his back was bothering him and he’s still coughing and sick). So then I was adding depression about my lack of ability to fulfill my submissive duties to the depression I already had. MasterDoc is really perceptive though, and he knew to ask if my problem was just the physical part of my back hurting or if there was a psychological aspect as well. I cried a bit, not really entirely sure why I’m depressed. (This is why the illness of depression is so fun – you feel sad and miserable and have no idea why!) Work has been stressful for a long time now, that’s about all I can think of. My eating has gotten to be terrible (lots of junk) and I’m feeling more and more demotivated to exercise.

Now granted, if my back hadn’t hurt (it was iffy all day but then vacuuming MasterDoc’s living room pushed it over the edge) I probably would have had sex with him and the orgasms would have made me feel much better both physically and psychologically. But we didn’t get that far. MasterDoc was wonderful, making me laugh as best he could and making sure I knew that I’m loved. When I said that I felt bad about feeling bad, he said, “Oh no! We’ll have none of that! You can feel bad all you want but no feeling bad about feeling bad!” Teehee. I hate that I needed taking care of last night, but thankful that MasterDoc understands that I can’t control my depression. He took care of me and I’m really grateful for that.

Today I’m still feeling blue for no good reason. My back is a little better although rather stiff. I did some yoga this morning (after MasterDoc suggested it the night before) which helped get me moving. Hopefully tonight I’ll get out of this funk long enough to have sex – it’s been nearly two weeks now!

Today I’ve suddenly gotten a bunch of messages on a popular vanilla dating site. From an adorable 19 year old looking to get it on with an older woman (I declined with a compliment that he’s very cute) to a 25 year old virgin looking to have me teach him how to please a woman in every way – except having sex with him. But this email, from a 51 year old guy really takes the cake. Excuse me while I gag.

“Life is so much beautiful when you have a loved one who really cares. ..One who knows what soulmate is really meant by,worth and ready to give out the best of love to the fullest.That perfect half who really understands what unconditional love implies.. love that is considered unconditional and undying; so great that one’s heart might seems to burst with the joy of it. I was just checkin out for that perfect half of mine when i came across your sweet profile which i just have to express my feelings towards you..I felt attracted to you and really like your profile due to the beautiful words on it even to this day, because your soul spoke to me through your eyes,words even when you didn’t know it. It’s the part of you, that you hold the secret
to, that many don’t see, and I want to dig deeper to get and find the real woman and friend in you”

*gag*

Found via The Alexa Collection photographer unknown.

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #28? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #30? Submit it here before Sunday May 25th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Give Me Fever Contest Deadline: May 30th at 11:59pm Pacific Time.
• Masturbation Month Contest! Deadline: May 31st.
• Champagne Giveaway: Women Seeking Women #50 Deadline: May 31st.
• Do You Have an Erotic Adventure to Share? Deadline: May 31st, 2009.
• Ginger Leigh’s Fabulous Shopping Spree! Deadline: Friday, June 5, 2009.
• Win a Bootie plug by Fun Factory! Deadline: June 5th.
• Giveaway: Win two bumpy glass dildos! Deadline: June 12th, 2009 at midnight PDT.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St.Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Comparing Pelvic Exercise Balls by Sexorcism

• I’ve reviewed four sets of pelvic exercise balls: Fun Factory Teneo Uno, LELO Luna Beads, Fun Factory SmartBalls, and Fun Factory Teneo Duo. Here is a comparison of four sets by their size, materials, stimulation level, ease of insertion and features.

  Note: This is a wonderful comparison of the four major pelvic exercise balls out there. It’s very basic in many ways but covers the topic well and gives a lot of wonderful details.

Vibrators

• Paul and Paulina by Ansley Agnello
• LELO Mia by Lithaewyn
• Jumbo Waterproof Bullet by Ginger Leigh
• We-Vibe by Carnivalesq
• Fun Factory Boss by Ansley Agnello
• Hello Kitty Vibrator by CarrieAnn
• Companion by CarrieAnn
• Angelo by Beautiful Dreamer
• Lucid Dreams by Shay
• Boss Lady by Carnivalesq
• Tongue Teaser Vibrator by Exploring Intimacy
• Stubby G by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Venus Penis by Adriana
• Hello Kitty Vibrator by Betty Rocket
• LELO Iris by HavingMyCake

Dildos

• Compact by Ansley Agnello
• Tantus Feeldoe Original by Wilhelmina Wang
• Njoy Fun Wand by Carnivalesq
• Ophoria Beyond #3 by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Tantus G-Force by Thursday’s Child
• Goliath by Adriana
• Mistress by Ansley Agnello
• Bandito by Essin’ Em

Anal Toys

• Tristan’s Anniversary Edition Plug by Alpine Subdreams
• Little Flirt by Marla Singer St. Syr
• Tristan’s Anniversary Plug by Carnivalesq
• LELO Bob by Epiphora

Toys for Cocks

• Tantus Beginner’s Cock Ring by Bill Turner on SexToys.com
• Tenga Deep Throat Ona-Cup by Brandon B.

Lube, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Pomegranate Vanilla BabeLicious Lube by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Pure Instinct Pheromone Attractant by Sexorcism
• Wet Together by Sommer Marsden
• Sensuous Soak Kit by CarrieAnn
• Sensuous Soak Kit by Ansley Agnello

BDSM/Fetish

• Spartacus Beaded tweezer clamps by Lithaewyn
• Handcrafted Leather Pony Bit by Sleeping Dreamer

Adult Books

• X: The Erotic Treasury by Alpine Subdreams
• Go Fuck Yourself by Themistokles

Adult Movies/Porn

• Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex- Cunnilingus by Beautiful Dreamer
• Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Threesomes by Epiphora
• Welcome to Paradise by The Porn Librarian
• The End Game by FrzKey
• Eastside Story (Disc 1) by J.D. Bauchery
• Depravity Episode 1 by FrzKey
• Skinny Dipped by Epiphora

Storage

• FYN Big Foot by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Mystique Storage Set by Sexorcism
• FYN FootLong by CarrieAnn
• FYN big Foot by Eliot Bodem

Miscellaneous

• Horny Goat Weed by Champagne and Benzedrine
• Tantus Suction Cup by Thursday’s Child
• The Slightest Touch by Themistokles
• Stripper Mug Review by Baby Sinead
• Pink Pussy Pump by Adriana
• Afterglow Wipes by Sexorcism
• Liberator Scoop/Wedge by Nadia West

Things have been quiet here at Kinky Librarian. I haven’t had sex in a week. I know! How could I go for so long? Will I have to downgrade my sex goddess status? With MasterDoc being sick and other things keeping me busy there hasn’t been a chance to get it on. We might have gotten it on yesterday, but unfortunately I’m a bit injured from a sybian ride the night before.

Since he still isn’t feeling well, MasterDoc decided to give me a sybian ride on Sunday night. Turning the nob to regulate the vibrations is certainly easier than anything else he could have done to get me off. He had me put on my collar. I set up the machine, lubed myself up, put a condom on the medium sized dildo and got on. He kept the vibrations really low for a while. Instead of turning me on it felt vaguely irritating. I had a hard time getting it into quite the right position.

Eventually he upped the vibration speed, and I got turned on. I started rocking my hips back and forth gently and grinding my clit against the nubbly pad of the dildo. He was sitting on the edge of the couch right in front of me, and he had me put my hands on his knees. As he turned up the vibration I started leaning forward so that my forearms were on his knees/thighs. My jaw dropped open and I held back from coming as best I could. Sometimes lately I manage to hold off and not beg even until he decides to give me permission to come. When he let me come, my body spasmed and I fell forward. My head leaned hard against his chest and my arms embraced his torso. I grunted, said many “Oh God”s and my thighs clenched the sides of the machine. I kept coming and kept grinding myself against the sybian. It felt like I might push the dildo out of my vagina at one point, the contractions were so strong. Just as I was feeling too wiped out to go on (I woke up with a bit of a cold that morning, I wasn’t feeling in tip-top shape) he said, “That’s enough” and turned off the vibration. I’m surprised I could stand and walk right after the ride.

Unfortunately, the next day I was really sore.  Actually, I’m still really sore. I’m not entirely sure why as I’ve certainly ground my cunt into the sybian before. There’s a terribly sore spot right at the opening to my vagina. Needless to say it’s out of commission for a few days until things heal up. It feels like it did when the couple I used to play with stuck a large dildo in me without warm up or lube a couple of years ago. Maybe I didn’t use enough lube.  Maybe running the machine on a low setting was more irritating than anything else. I don’t know, but it sure is annoying to be sore and sexless. I’ve thought about maybe using the smaller dildo with the sybian instead – I think the medium might be a bit much for my cunt when it’s not warmed up at all.

Liberator makes fantastic sex furniture and sex cushions. As an affiliate I was offered the chance to review their products on this blog and I was thrilled. I already owned the Escape, a purchase I am happy with (and that has been used at MasterDoc’s for sex on the living room floor and even as a spare bed!) For my first review I was sent the Black Label Scoop/Wedge combo. Now how did they know that the Black Label line is perfect for me – the black label shapes have tethers where you can clip on cuffs and longer tethers. There’s a cuff/tether/blindfold set that comes with the combo, but there’s also a Pro cuff set you can purchase separately which has wrist, ankle and thigh cuffs and extra connectors (and a blindfold). They sent me the Pro cuff set as well as the scoop/wedge. I love the blindfold – there’s a satiny padded nose bridge so you really can’t see with the blindfold on, but it’s comfy to wear. The thigh cuffs even fit around my plus-sized thighs. (All the cuffs are secured with velcro, so they’re quite adjustable.)

MasterDoc and I have tried various configurations, both on the Escape on the floor and on the bed. Some work better than others. The position they show with the woman laying over the wedge and the man coming from behind requires a much smaller butt than I have. But the first time we used the scoop (rounded side down) it was great to be fucked while we rocked back and forth. The second time, I couldn’t quite get the position right, but remembered that I had my foot against the wall the time before. We fucked with the scoop, rounded side up, wedge under my head, and while MasterDoc had to hold me to keep from sliding down we had fun with it.

We’ve tried the wedge under me, and I wonder if we need the plus size wedge – it didn’t put me in quite the right position. But, we put the wedge under him and wowzer – it kept his hips up and his cock deep inside me as I rode him. I feel like I haven’t exhausted all the possibilities yet; it was nifty when MasterDoc realized that I could use the scoop to lean against as he had me spread my legs for him. The shapes are also fun to lounge against. The wedge could be handy if you need to sleep with your head elevated a bit.

The cover is soft microfiber, and easily removable and washable (I know because I squirted a river all over it). Under the cover is a waterproof cover – that really is waterproof – it was totally dry despite my squirting soaking through the top cover. Both shapes come with carrying bags with handles. The foam is dense and solid – it easily supported our two chubby bodies.

Liberator shapes are a cool addition to the bedroom. They’re unlike anything else out there.

I’ve been out on the town two nights in a row, but amazingly, I kept my clothes on the whole time! I know, shocking.

Wednesday I went to board game night at the LGBT Center with Michelle, the lovely lady I had a date with last Saturday (you know, the one I was spazzing about over twitter if you follow my twitter). As I walked up to her outside the center I did, finally, manage to kiss her. Yes, I can hear you all out there in the blogosphere saying, “Finally!” It was a pretty innocent sort of kiss but at least it’s a start. I had fun learning a new board game (El Grande) from some board-game-geek gay men. Whoo hoo! It was fun. Michelle and I were the only two women there. It wasn’t all gay men, as her boyfriend was also there.  Five of us sat at the El Grande table and I managed to come in third after the two guys who had played it before. Coolness. A few of us went out for some food afterwards. I had a great time but had to head home lest I miss one of the late trains and have to sit around the station for an hour. Michelle asked me to put in a good word in case any bi/lesbian women who love board games and live in New York might want to come around to Board Stiff one night. We need more women there!

Last night, I went to In The Flesh for the first time. A whole slew of sex bloggers were there – I got to hang out with Catalina, Diva, Tess, and Mina; I got to meet Natt Nightly (who is indeed the butch I was ogling at the sex blogger calendar party – Natt is very cute), Twanna from Funky Brown Chick and Jack of Writing Dirty plus a few other people I’m forgetting. The readings were fun, and the company was wonderful. I hope to hang out with them more in the future. Oh, and if you get a chance to go – there’s delicious mini cupcakes served. Get there early to get the cupcakes!

I managed to get to In the Flesh from MasterDoc’s place in the Bronx via subway and bus. First time doing that but luckily I was able to get trains that connected up and dropped me just about a block away from In the Flesh.

So as day two of my vacation goes on, I’m in a good mood and I’ve had some fun. I have a wedding to go to this weekend (urgh!). And hopefully MasterDoc will feel better when I head back to his place on Sunday.

I had expected to not see MasterDoc for a stretch of 10 days, thankfully he found free time a couple of times this week. Sunday afternoon I got to spend time time at his place. He was tired when he first got home so he held me off for a while, but then he decided he was up for it. While he has guests staying at his place this week (his friend Liz’s parents) they were out for a while, so we had the place to ourselves. But rather than having sex in the living room on the floor, or in the spare room, we were confined to the master bedroom with the squeaky bed. On the up side, the squeaky bed is king-sized.

We got naked and he had me set up some porn on the laptop (which we never ended up turning on). I had been really horny for days so I started stroking his cock without being told. We cuddled up close and I kept his hard cock in my hand. I caressed his inner thighs and near the base of his cock. He complimented me on my skills – which is very satisfying to hear. I sucked his cock for a little bit, and then went back to stroking it. He rolled over onto his side and as I continued to stroke his hard cock he reached over and started playing with my pussy. He had me wet his fingers with saliva and he caressed my cunt, getting me aroused. He had me wet his fingers again and he slid them into me. He fingered me, prodding my g-spot. It felt so delightful that I was breathing heavy and pressing back against his fingers. He had me beg before he would allow me to come. When I came, his fingers kept right on stroking the inside of me and I felt like I squirted but I’m not sure that I actually did. His strong fingers pressed inside me and my orgasm went on for a while.

After, I was in a daze but quickly thanked him for my orgasm. I felt amazing, but I was glad when it turned out we weren’t done. I sucked his cock for a while, making sure it was hard. He had me put a condom on him and we decided to use the Liberator Wedge underneath him while I got on top. This put his hips up higher than usual and kept his cock deep inside me. I rode his cock, and it was like every nerve ending in my vagina was on full alert. I closed my eyes and concentrated on fucking him. The wedge helped him thrust especially deep. I gasped and started hoping he’d let me come. I kept fucking him, rocking my body back and forth, listening to the incessant squeaking of the bed. When he let me come I grunted and moaned like an animal in heat. His cock stayed in me longer with the wedge underneath him. After the orgasm, I took a break and rested on him. We talked and cuddled a bit, but then he started moving his hips again. I thought I was too tired to go on but I became aroused again. We fucked a bit longer until my vaginal muscles pushed his cock out and I said, “Shit!”

We rested and cuddled some more. I love being pressed up close against him, my hand stroking his chest. I was already feeling quite satisfied when he said, “Is your cunt wet?” I reached down and found that I was still dripping wet from before. He had me get on my hands and knees and bend over the wedge. He fucked me from behind and it felt so wonderful that I almost didn’t want to come, because I knew if I came that would end the fucking. He fucked me hard and I kept moaning and crying out in pleasure. I made such a racket, it’s a damn good thing no one else was in his apartment. I wondered if I would manage to hold back coming until he gave permission. I waited a while before asking for permission but the pleasure became too intense I had to start begging. But he didn’t let me come. He told me that I wasn’t going to be allowed just then. I went back to savoring the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of me. I made noises as if I was coming but it was just from the rolling waves of pleasure coursing through me.

When he did let me come it was intense. I lost track of my surroundings and all I was aware of was my vaginal muscles clenching, and squirting a whole lot of liquid, and his hand slapping my cunt as I kept coming and coming, my juices splattering. The bed and wedge were soaked. Thankfully he didn’t mind.

I thanked him, and was a very, very happy and satisfied slut.

I’ve continued my Important Links series over at Best Sex Bloggers. Here’s the series to date:

Important Links: Herpes

Important Links: Sexuality

Important Links: HPV

Important Links: HIV

Go forth and educate yourself!

When I was young I masturbated all the time. Doing it a few times in one day wasn’t unusual. I ferreted away things like Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogs, and the stray Penthouse my father lost track of, to masturbate to. Since becoming an adult however, I find that things like time and energy (the lack thereof) keep me from masturbating nearly as much. Granted, I get sex now too and I didn’t get sex when I was young and masturbating a few times a day.
Quite a while ago MasterDoc put restrictions on my masturbation – I think at first it was once a week, then increased to twice a week. I had to tease myself and keep myself on the edge of coming as practice. Months later he amended that to I had to make myself come as quickly as possible for one of them, and could do it how I wanted for the other. Nowadays it’s merely confined to twice a week – whatever way I want.

Most weeks I don’t get two times in, let alone need to ask for permission for more. So this week is unusual in that I have masturbated four times. One time with MasterDoc when I saw him on Wednesday (I figure that if I’m masturbating with him involved it doesn’t count for one of my two times a week), the next Thursday night, again Friday morning, then I wanted to do it again Friday night, but I knew I needed to get permission from him for that. It was getting late and I didn’t want to bother him so I didn’t – masturbate or ask for permission. (Although my crafty brain kept saying, “Hey, you know he’ll say yes so why not just do it?” Luckily I was a good little submissive and I didn’t do so without getting his permission first.) Then today I was still horny so I texted him asking for permission, which he granted.

When I did it with him by my side on Wednesday, it was certainly enhanced by him being there and touching me. I find that sometimes when I do it alone it’s harder to come – I think because I’m not at such a high level of arousal as I am around him. With him there’s the anticipation of when he’ll let me come – or will he let me come even? When he talks to me, teasing me verbally, I get really worked up. Having him stroke my face and gently touch my labia as I press the bullet vibe to my clit sends me over the edge.

On Thursday I masturbated the old fashioned way – a way I’ve been masturbating since I was a little girl – I grabbed hold of the fabric of my panties and undulated my hips so that my mons and clit rubbed against the fabric until I came. This is the way I’ve managed to masturbate while driving the various times I’ve done that (not lately sadly).

Friday morning consisted of me getting the bullet vibe out as time ticked towards my having to leave for work. I came, but not hard, and I ended up walking into work a couple of minutes late.

Friday night I was really horny and really wishing I had MasterDoc’s cock inside me. Rowr. But mostly I watched Black Adder episodes and surfed the net.

Today, I put on some porn – a double penetration scene in a doctor’s office (the two male doctors take on the female patient). It was hot in some ways, but I was bothered by the fact that the woman never seemed to come and there didn’t seem to be concern about her coming or not – it was all about the guys’ pleasure. (I didn’t watch it entirely through.) But I focused on the action and used my bullet vibe to come. Again, not a great orgasm but it did the job.

My libido is so high these days that I still feel horny. It’s a relief after my lack of libido (thanks to prozac) many months back. But sometimes I feel tense and on edge because I’m so horny. Tonight I have a date coming over (second date with a woman I had a first date with a couple of weeks back) and I hope I don’t feel like a randy teenage boy. I have no idea if sex will be a part of the night and I certainly don’t assume, especially since I’ve never so much as kissed this woman.

Maybe I’ll need to ask for permission to masturbate again before this evening.

On the other hand, I was a busy slut Saturday night at the party. During the social time I felt a little awkward and shy and stayed close to MasterDoc. I know that some of you readers are doubting that someone who fucks so many people and is friendly with so many people is shy, but I am. I’m socially awkward. I’m not unfriendly I just feel unsure of myself and self-conscious.

We socialized for a while with a very nice couple who were fun to talk to. It turns out they have an amateur porn website that looks hot. (Or at least the free samples look good; wish I could see the inside).

There was a sexy Latina there who talked to me a bit and I was totally hot for her, but of course my low self-esteem hung over me and made me think, “I’m fat. Why would she be interested in me?” But we had both worn really low cut tops and I made a comment on how nice her dress was and how we both went for the same look – lots of cleavage. I can’t tell you how much effort it took me to be forward in that minuscule way. However, it paid off later.

When things started happening, I got naked pretty quickly. Getting to the sex was getting to my comfort zone. I started off playing with MasterDoc, and he fingered me to a wonderful orgasm. He fucked me from behind, and at some point the cute Latina ended up on the bed near me, being fucked. She sort of reached out for me, and after MasterDoc had stopped fucking me I started touching her and playing with her tits. She clearly liked this. We kissed, I stroked her clit when the guy took a break from fucking her. I think sometimes when it’s been a while since I’ve been with a woman I forget how much I like it. I sucked at her nipples and she sucked at mine. I was pressed between her and the guy fucking her, it was like being in a pile of bodies, writhing, fucking, licking.

I can’t write an entirely linear narrative of Saturday night, because I’m not sure what happened when. I was fucked by a total of five guys (including MasterDoc) and really pounded hard for the most part. Last night I got the most bbc I’ve ever had in one night (3 guys, one of them twice). It’s funny, I know a few people are into the taboo black/white thing and it really gets them going. But I feel totally neutral about interracial fucking. I tend to go for white or hispanic guys for the most part, but I’m really pretty agreeable to fuck any nice guy no matter what his ethnicity. I had a great time fucking these guys, but it wasn’t because they were black, it was because they fucked me hard. The two white guys fucked me good as well.

So there was lots of sex, lots of me being fucked by various guys. I encountered the Latina bit later, and while I ate her pussy another guy (a white guy) fucked me from behind really hard. It’s so difficult to keep licking pussy when you’re being fucked hard. I did my best but some of the time ended up with just my face buried in her cunt. MasterDoc joined in and we took turns going down on her, and she sucked his cock for a while.

I sucked a few different cocks, nearly fucked one other guy (he went soft), only really played with one woman but I did enjoy some caresses from other women. It’s funny, MasterDoc says at these parties he only really focuses on learning the women’s names – for the obvious reason that they’re the ones he’s interested in. I joked that I have twice the work – I’m bi, I really should learn the women’s and men’s names. lol Mostly I don’t keep track of names and remember people by face.

I came really hard, and loud, when fucked. While I like fucking a variety of guys there really is something special about fucking MasterDoc. I may go off and fuck someone else, but I always go back to him after. I may fuck others, but I’m his slut. I felt really happy to hold his hand as we walked to the car after the party.

I know there’s a segment of society that thinks I should feel guity or bad for what I did Saturday night. I don’t feel one bit guilty about having so much sex – I had a great time and it felt wonderful. The only things I regret was not being more vigilant with that guy who tried to fuck me without a condom, and not following through when MasterDoc told me to touch him while he fucked another woman.