Diary of a Kinky Librarian

I had a mostly quiet weekend, which is strange when you learn that I went to a bdsm/sex party on Saturday night with MasterDoc. Of course, this is not so strange when I mention that I had my period, and spent the night freaked out about my Instead cup leaking. Those things don’t do too well during heavy flow days (for me).

I did get to ride the sybian and ended up being the first person naked, I think. I find this thrilling, stimulating and a bit embarrassing. It’s strange to be naked in front of a room of strangers and acquaintances. It’s naughty and definitely a turn on. I find that I can’t necessarily look at the people around me, but I like knowing they’re there. I like that MasterDoc enjoys us being the center of attention. I used the flat top to the sybian since I’ve had trouble with using the dildo attachment while wearing a cup (the cup ended up pinching me – no fun). This was the first time I rode the sybian without a dildo attachment. But considering much of the sensation comes from the vibration and from my clit grinding against the nubby pad, the dildo wasn’t much of a loss.

MasterDoc teased me mercilessly. He’d ask others in the room if they thought I should be allowed to come, and apparently they said no! So he teased me some more, more than he had ever done before. I was in a frenzied state. He had me begging for orgasm, all the while making sure I begged loud enough for others to hear. I was the wanton, aroused slut begging for sexual release. Eventually he let me come, and I was loud and rocketed into another world. I found myself humping the machine desperately, moaning, clutching at MasterDoc’s legs in front of me. I get a little spastic at the time of orgasm on the sybian. I’m also completely unintelligible.

I had to actually ask him to stop, as I started developing a headache. Asking him to stop is rare, and getting a headache from orgasm is pretty rare for me as well. MasterDoc took care of me, going upstairs with me to get a drink and then he put me on the sofa while he went off in search of some acetaminophen for my headache. I appreciated the fact that he took the time to see to me when I wasn’t feeling well. He’s good to me. (When he’s not being sadistic, that is!)

Later, I got to watch the party hostess ride the sybian. She goes for the largest phallic attachment it comes with. I’m always amazed as that dildo is too large to be comfortable for me. But she loves it and it’s fascinating watching a woman ride the sybian. I saw her humping the machine as she struggled to hold back from coming just as I did. MasterDoc took the controls for a while, then her fiance came over and she sucked his cock while riding. Her fiance took the controls and had her suck his cock as he sat in the chair in front of her. A woman is just in another world when she’s on that thing. It’s beautiful to watch her face contort as she’s taken over by ecstacy.

We got home late that night, and then on Sunday ended up sleeping half the day away. (Got up, had breakfast, went to lay down for cuddles and then both felt drowsy so we fell asleep for a couple of hours.) Sunday night, I wandered into the bedroom where I knew MasterDoc was preparing for some sex. He was on the phone with a new lady he’s been speaking with. He wanted her to listen in as he did things to me. I sucked his cock and he made more happy noises than usual so his new ladyfriend could hear on the other end. A little later, he slapped my inner thighs and pussy for a while – asking his ladyfriend if she liked that. He made me come using his hands and did his best to tempt her with the prospect of coming that hard. She only listened in for a while. I hope she enjoyed it. (She’s read this blog and enjoyed it, happy to say.)

He fucked me from behind, and made me into a moaning mess, desperate for orgasm. He let me come and kept me going with his fingers even after my vaginal muscles had pushed his cock out. I was very happy and quite satisfied.

On Monday I didn’t have to be at work til later (as did he) and we spent some time together in the morning. He had me suck his cock, and I tell you, I really get into it. Sucking his cock made me so horny! We fucked some more, him hitting my ass with the riding crop all the while. It felt good, but then my hips started to get tired (I was on top). I had to ask to stop, and sadly that meant the end of sex as it was getting late. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel anxious over not having reached orgasm. My arousal subsided easily unlike some times when it lingers until I’m able to come. I was just happy to have that intimate time with MasterDoc on a Monday morning, a time I don’t usually get to spend with him.

When Vibrator.com asked if I’d like to try out some new sextoys, Lovemoiselle ceramic dildoes/vibrators, I was thrilled. I already like glass toys, and I figured the ceramic should be just like it.  I selected the Lovemoiselle Cecile, as I already have a fair amount of g-spot toys and thought I should try something different. I was attracted to the gentle undulations.

Pretty, ain’t it?

On the positive side, ceramic is easy to clean, durable (just don’t drop it on a hard surface and it should last you a lifetime), pretty, smooth, and conducts heat well (according to the packaging it warms to your body faster than glass). I had high hopes for this. I was so excited to try it out.

First I gave the vibe a try. It takes 2 AAA batteries and it’s easy to open the battery compartment. The button at the end controls the whole thing – cycling through six different vibratory patterns. The button isn’t as sensitive as the ones on Lelo products, and that’s a plus. (If only the Lelo vibes had these less-easy-to-push buttons!) So far so good, right? Alas, like most battery-powered vibes, it was pretty weak. Nice for a tease but not likely to get me off.

Next we tried it inside, I lubed myself up and MasterDoc slid it in. At first it was nice, but as he pushed it in further it became uncomfortable. I realized that the diameter of the vibe gradually gets larger towards the end. And unfortunately for me it was too large to be comfortable – it felt like it was scraping along my pubic bone from time to time. I later compared it to the glass dildo I like so much, and indeed this has more girth.

So unfortunately my high hopes were not met, but I have to say I’m still excited about using ceramic for sex toys – I just want to try a narrower, non-vibrating one next time. Like, say, the Lovemoiselle Aveline. (The Cecile seems to have the largest diameter of them all according to Vibrator.com info.) Ceramic makes for a green sex toy – check out the other green sex toys at Vibrator.com.

Thank you to Vibrator.com for giving me the chance to try my first ceramic sex toys!

I’m reading a fantasy novel right now, suggested to me a while back by my friend Divasub. It’s called Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey. I’ve just come across the bdsm themes in the book, and now understand why she recommended it to me.

“Alone among angels, Kushiel understood that the act of chastisement was an act of love; and the sinner in his charge too came to understand, and loved him for it. He gave them pain like balm, and they begged him for it, finding in it not redemption, but a love that transcended the divine.”

This flowery prose seemed lovely to me when I read it this morning. Last night MasterDoc was wonderfully dominating and it was so what I needed.

At the start of the evening, we went looking for porn online and found a librarian porn video. I can’t find the link to it now, unfortunately. (UPDATE: MasterDoc gave me the link.) It was very amateur – just one camera angle. But the “librarian” (I think her glasses were meant to identify her as a librarian) wore a collar and wrist and ankle cuffs. There was a definite bdsm overtone to the video. And while going down on the guy, she put her hands between his legs to massage his inner thighs – just like I do with MasterDoc! We laughed and wondered if perhaps someone was inspired by our hijinks.

We tried out my new ceramic vibe. Unfortunately it was not as wonderful as I had hoped. I will review it later. I grabbed the acuvibe mini when told to get another toy and I used that to bring myself just about to the edge of orgasm. MasterDoc then had me stop, bend over the liberator scoop, and he fucked me from behind. He’d spank me every so often. It felt great and I wished that he’d let me come like that. He stopped, and started spanking me with my new crop. When that didn’t seem to be as hard as he’d like, he started spanking me with his hands. It went from painful to incredibly hot. I was on the verge of orgasm (he had me play with my clit at the same time) when he started hitting harder. He told me to come, but the pain had just crossed the threshold from stimulating to painful, so it took me a few seconds to be able to come. But I did manage. I’m surprised I didn’t squirt.

We took a break, and then he had me get on top and ride him. My knees were worn out from exercising earlier in the day, but I managed to ride for a while. I got close to orgasm, and he helped me along by asking if I was ready to come, “Right now.” Often, even if I’m not quite to that point his asking me that will put me on the edge. He told me to come, and I came. While I was coming he said, “Come now cunt, and I’ll piss on you when you’re done.” I decided that I had better enjoy my orgasm while I could, and I came really hard. I hoped that he had been just threatening the pissing. And as we cuddled after I thought perhaps that was the case.

I went to get ready for bed, and when I came back from the bathroom, he was holding my collar. “Put this on,” he said, “And come with me.”

He led me back to the door of the bathroom. It was clear that he hadn’t forgotten or threatened idly when he said he was going to piss on me. He told me to get in the tub, on my knees, and if the tub was cold well that was just tough shit. I did as I was told, wincing at the idea of what he was going to do to me. He made me say I was ready, and made me say that I wanted him to piss on me. I clenched my eyes shut as I couldn’t bear to look. He started to piss on me, and with my eyes closed I could sorta block out what it was, and just enjoy the feeling of warm liquid running over me. I could ignore the faint odor of urine and pretend it wasn’t pee. He told me to hold my tits up. I didn’t react fast enough and he ordered me to do it again. I did as I was told and he pissed all over my tits. The piss ran down my body and I was fairly drenched in it by the time he was done. I tell you, he had to have been saving that up all evening. It seemed to go on a long time.

I was feeling humiliated and stunned afterwards. He told me I could rinse off and he was kind enough to get me a towel to dry off after. I carefully rinsed myself off and patted myself dry. I found that I really needed a hug after that. Humiliation play can be pretty intense, and while I like it I definitely need a hug and reassurance of some sort afterwards. I found that while piss play was every bit as humiliating as I would imagine, I didn’t freak out or fall apart from it. Of course, I don’t know that I would have been so composed if he had pissed in my mouth.

While in theory I don’t like piss play, I have been craving some serious domination lately, and this really fit the bill. I wouldn’t let anyone else piss on me. Only he has that power over me.

I slept soundly last night. And a few minutes after waking I remembered, “Oh jeez! He pissed on me last night!”

Babeland sent me the most wonderful toy recently – the Acuvibe Mini.

As you can see, it resembles the Hitachi Magic Wand (and, of course, the full-sized Acuvibe). And indeed, it is very similar. Unlike the Magic Wand, it is cordless – and as it’s rechargeable and not battery powered it’s STRONG. The vibrations, I mean.  It only has one speed, but it’s comparable to the low speed on the Magic  Wand (which is just dandy for me, the high speed is often too much). And being so much smaller (and cordless!) than the Magic Wand it’s so much easier to use on yourself, or a friend. It’s also prettier than the Magic Wand, which looks almost clinical.

It comes with an adapter for charging and in 8 hours it’s fully charged for the first time and ready to go. I used it to masturbate on Thursday. MasterDoc took it out on Friday night to a club and the ladies who tried it liked it a great deal. The next night we used it for a while at the club ourselves and then again at home. Eventually the power ran down and the vibration slowed. Not having been there Friday night I’m not sure how long in total the charge lasted. It probably needs frequent recharging, but it should last a good long sex session just fine.

I LOVE the Acuvibe Mini. Seriously, this is one of the best sex toys I have gotten to review. Thank you Babeland!

from dockera.com via art or porn

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #33? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #35? Submit it here before Sunday June 28th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Note: Monday the 29th is the editor’s birthday, Pleasurists #35 may be delayed next week.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Christmas in July Deadline: June 24th at noon EST
• Vibrator Horror Story Contest Deadline: June 26th
• Name That Sex Toy! Deadline: 11:59 PST June 26th
• Summer Lust Contest! Deadline: June 28th, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. PST
• Cheebras Pin-Up Contest! Deadline: Entries MUST be received by midnight on July 4, 2009
• Hello Kitty Vibe photo contest Deadline: September 1, 2009

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

• Dream Massager G by Sleeping Dreamer

• I love this vibrator for it’s power. Yes, these vibrations carry throughout the entirety of my vaginal canal and even vibrate down into my ass. I can feel the vibrator through the mattress, yea, that good. The Dream Massage G is to my vagina what the Hitachi is to my clitoris.

Vibrators

• Acuvibe Mini by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Oui by Sommer Marsden
• Joanna Angel’s Bad Ass G Bullet by Baby Sinead
• Handy Massager Review by Pumpkin Lady
• I Rub My Duckie by Ginger Leigh
• Trinity Vibes Vibrating Silver Bullet by Mistress Says
• Hello Kitty Vibe by True Pleasures
• Slimline G by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Ben’s G-Spot Smoothie by Beautiful Dreamer
• Rock Chick by Sleeping Dreamer
• Galaxy G-Kit by Ansley Agnello
• Bgee by Ansley Agnello
• Waterproof Slender Probe by Epiphora
• Impulse Hyper Sonic Wand by Domina Doll

Dildos

• Belladonna’s Magic Hand by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Tantus G-Force Wand by Marla Singer St. Syr
• Sunshine Helix Real Tip Rocket by Carrie Ann
• Leo by Ansley Agnello
• Martian Night Spiral Curved e-Glass Dildo by Mistree Says
• DonWand Glass BubbleWand by Erotic Amusements
• Sugar Drop by Beautiful Dreamer
• Raspberry Chunk Juicer by Red
• Curve by Epiphora
• Milkmaid Dildo by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Anal Toys

• Flexi Felix by Arron Leone
• Fun Factory Bloomy by Red

Toys for Cocks

• Tenga Squeeze Play by Onyx V St. Syr
• Betty Jo Cock Ring by True Pleasures

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Sensation Erotic Massage Oil by Sarah
• Spectra 360 Electrode Gel by Red
• Yes Water Based Lube by Red
• Yes Oil Based Lube by Red
• Climax Bursts Toy Cleaner by Carrie Ann
• Fizz Lubricant by Carrie Ann
• Keep It Clean Toy Wash by Adriana
• Energizing Massage Balm by Intimate Organics by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Shunga Massage Candle, Bath Gel, and Sweet Snow Powder by Carrie Ann
• Wet Originals by Domina Doll
• Wet Together by Red
• The Sensuous Soak Kit by The Countess
• Inttimo Kitty Shave Kreme by Adriana
• Oil of Love – Tangerines and Cream by Domina Doll

BDSM/Fetish

• Lover’s Riding Crop by Nadia West

Adult Books/Games

• Supersex by Tracey Cox by Amorous Rocker
• Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival

Adult Movies/Porn

• Champion by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
• Catherine by Backseat Boohoo
• The Joanna Angel Magical Threesome Adventure Experience by Beautiful Dreamer
• Carnal Sensations by J.D. Bauchery
• Sisters by FrzKey
• Sometime Sweet Susan by The Porn Librarian
• by J.D. Bauchery
• Sex Warrior Pudding Collector’s Complete Edition by FrzKey
• Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex by Epiphora

Storage

• Sugar Sak Anti-Bacterial Toy Bags by Jessie M
• FYN Adult Toy Box by Laurel

Miscellaneous

• Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Position Master by Dragon Mage
• Babegloss by Adriana
• The ShockSpot fucking machine by KamaSutronics

Saturday night MasterDoc and I went out to a swing club in the suburbs. He had been there the night before with S., and found it to be a good crowd. But wouldn’t it figure that the night he takes me the crowd turns out to be older? Average age – 60? 65? I was by far the youngest person there with the exception of the couple that ran the place.

Mostly I wasn’t attracted to who was there, although there was one alluring Latina (in her 40s maybe?) in a wrap dress. So I pointed her out to MasterDoc and we smiled at her and her guy. She smiled back and MasterDoc said, “Looks like we’re in.” We went over to talk with them. The lady got up, had me sit down then she sat on the arm of the sofa right by me. I ran my hand along her hip and she said that she likes that, and suggested we go into the other room. As she took my hand and we went into the next room she told the men that we were going to “talk.” Yeah, right. They didn’t believe that for one second.

So she led me into the play room – which is mostly sofas (which suck for playing on) but there’s a bed in a dark corner. She led me right over to that and started to take off her wrap dress. I took off my blouse and started touching her smooth skin. Soon, I was naked but she opted to keep her underwear on. The men came in just a couple of minutes after we went back there. Of course they wanted to watch.

I stroked her body and reached into her bra to find her nipple, which I sucked on. She sucked on mine as well and she did it with the right amount of roughness – not too hard, not too soft. She clearly liked hers sucked hard so I did so. She had me lay back on the bed, and soon the guys were getting closer to be able to see what was going on – or to be able to join what was going on – probably a bit of both. I reached into her panties and played with her clit, making sure to keep it moist with her wetness from below. Her guy reached his hand over and took over. I played with her breasts some more. She declared that she wanted to get fucked.

MasterDoc was keen to oblige but first he had me suck his cock. I got it hard and then the lady wanted to have her turn, so I let her in and as she sucked I stroked his inner thighs, the places that I know make him feel good. Unfortunately, she was rough with him, and MasterDoc has an exremely sensitive penis head. This was not a good thing.

They ended up fooling around and I think he fingered her a bit. The guy (who I wasn’t into – it’s nearly inevitable that if I meet a couple and like the woman, I’m not that into the guy) played with me a bit, and he clearly had the goal of kissing me on the mouth. I wasn’t feeling it but eventually he worked his way there. She and he took turns going down on me, and he slid a finger inside. I wished that he moved his finger a bit as I really like getting fingered. His licking didn’t do much until I spread my lips apart and made my clit more accessible. I gradually reached orgasm, and when I came I came much harder because MasterDoc said, “That’s it. Come cunt,” which sends me further over the edge.

The interlude didn’t last long, and it was early yet so we got dressed and hung out in the lounge area again. There were slim pickings for the most part. There was one woman MasterDoc was interested in, and I wasn’t too keen on either her or hubby, but of course as submissive I was up for anything he wanted. It didn’t come to pass, however.

We spent some time in the play room because it was much quieter in there, and we watched porn while cuddling. He had me suck his cock a bit, and he spanked me a bit. I’m really craving some Domination and pain lately, so the spanking was divine. We fucked in the corner of the sofa a bit later; they had a velvet sofa that lined one wall and extended around the corners to cover part of the side walls. The corner gave us a chance for me to get on my knees and have MasterDoc fuck me from behind. The position was great for me, but difficult for MasterDoc as he had to bend his knees slightly. After that, he fucked me with me laying on the sofa and this position wasn’t so hot for me. Sofas are not good fucking places. Beds, people. If you own a swing club invest in some beds, futons, what have you (and not air mattresses!). A good mat on the floor is also preferable to the narrowness of a sofa.

We didn’t end up playing with anyone else, but when we got home we fucked some more. I also used a new butt plug on him as he brought himself to orgasm. (Oh so many reviews coming down the pike!) I’ve been so focused on not pushing MasterDoc’s cock out when I come lately that I haven’t been coming hard. So even though I loved the sex we had, I still felt unrelieved at the end of the evening. I asked if I could masturbate, and MasterDoc was surprised. I explained why, and he pointed out that he had only ordered me to not push his cock out that one time – I’m not expected to worry about it every single time we fuck. So now I know better for next time. He let me masturbate and he lent a hand to stroking my body and slapping my face. I felt so much better after I came.

I feel a little inundated with sex toys lately. I have four things on hand to review, and one more on the way. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I do love me some sex toys. The latest toy I’ve gotten from sextoy.com is a riding crop. Over the past few months I’ve lost a couple of impact toys (one I’m sure will show up eventually, the other I fear was left accidentally at a club) so we’ve been short on things to hit me with. The first ever impact toy I played with and really liked was a riding crop so I was eager to have another.

The Lover’s Riding Crop is a really affordable impact toy – $14.04 at sextoy.com. It can be used gently, tapping on your lover’s behind, or it can be vicious and stingy if you swing it with just a little force. It’s red and black which of course are the most suitable colors for an evil, pain inflicting sex toy. It seems to be made well and looks like it will last a long time. MasterDoc was quite happy to use it on my ass. And tits. And pussy. And I was quite happy to receive it. Depending on how hard you swing it, it can be intense or not so intense. It’s easier to control than, say, a flogger, which makes it a good first impact toy. And it can be oh so very stingy. Make no mistake, this bugger can hurt. I definitely recommend that all bdsm-inclined people have a riding crop.

Last night I went out to In The Flesh again, and met up with Diva and Tess. I hadn’t seen Michelle in a while so I invited her along as well. We met for dumplings (cheapest dinner I have ever gotten in NYC) and drinks beforehand. At dinner I also got to meet another model for the forthcoming NYC Sex Blogger Calendar. Diva was all abuzz with planning the calendar release party on November 6th. I can’t wait. Should be even more fun this year since I know a couple of people in it better.

At In The Flesh, I again experienced what a small world it is. (At least in the realm of sex-positive people.) I’ve mentioned my friend S. here a few times, she also dates MasterDoc, and I’ve met her daughters a couple of times. Well her eldest daughter was there last night and she didn’t remember me so I tentatively said hello and reminded her that we met. No sooner had that happened when the woman she was with said, “I think I know you too. We went on a couple of dates a while ago.” Yup, indeed this woman was a librarian I had a couple of dates with a while back. Small world indeed. (I won’t even go into how I made the piss-poor choice of going on the second date with this woman despite being sick at the time. Yeah, enthusiasm only counts when you’re not infectious. Needless to say that was our last date.)

The readings were sexy and sometimes funny. It was LGBT night so it was a pretty appropriate night for me to bring along a woman I’m dating (Michelle). Yet again I was lame, and I only gave her a quick kiss as we said goodbye on the subway later on. I get particularly awkward with kissing women in public. I need to get over that.

There were many giveaways at the readings, and I won a book of gay erotica. It’s a pity that I’m not much for gay erotica or porn (I prefer lesbian or kink). I do enjoy watching two men together, in person, but not so much in porn. It’s strange, I know. After the party, while I used the restroom, a guy came looking for me – i.e., the winner of the gay porn book – and Michelle told him I was in the restroom. So after I came out, washed my hands, and rounded the corner, I ran into this guy. He was a really sweet gay man who was interested in that book I had won because it was about surfer boys, and his boyfriend is a surfer. He asked if I’d trade it for something. “Sure,” I said, “You have something to trade?” Sure enough, this guy had a big bag filled with sex toys and whatnot, including a couple of vibrators from Babeland still in the packaging. I gladly traded him the book for an Orchid G in aqua. (You know you’re too immersed in the world of sex toys when you spot a vibrator and immediately know the name of it!) I probably would have just given him the book even if he didn’t have anything I was interested in trading for. Hey, I’m a librarian, I like putting people together with books that are right for them.

My purse wasn’t that big last night, so I ended up taking my new vibrator on the subway with me – unwrapped (well still in packaging, but it was a clear bag). I kinda hid it against my umbrella, but I also found it really funny that I was riding the subway with an exposed vibrator. Somehow that fits my life. I got home to MasterDoc with some funny stories to share. All in all, it was a good night.

Last night, MasterDoc and I watched some porn as usual. When I’m put in charge of selecting porn I generally pick something from kink.com. Last night, he made the selection, and it was a vanilla group sex porn. Now, I find group sex a turn on, but I wasn’t especially turned on by the porn last night. It took me a while to get worked up, even when I was already on top riding him – and he had played with my pussy for a while, which I enjoyed. I wondered why it was hard for me to get into the sex. (Besides the fact that this was the worst porn I can recall seeing.)

It dawned on me, in the kink.com videos the women are engaged in the sex/kink they’re having. It’s hot because you’re watching something real happen. Now, not all vanilla porn is staged, but I find that the women seem like they’re faking it much more often in vanilla porn. And it’s the fakeness that turns me off. It’s much easier to fake vanilla sex – just lube yourself up and get fucked while making moans of supposed ecstasy. But when you’re being dommed your brain is engaged with the situation as well as your body. And that’s fucking hot. So I don’t think it’s just because I’m a kinky mofo that I prefer kink porn, I think it’s also the degree of engagement in the female performers. I want to watch hot sex – not people going through the motions.

It also helps that kink.com is known for being ethical and respectful of their performers. (Now if they’d only branch out into models with different body types, we’d be set.)

I did manage to get into things and have a great orgasm – and for the first time (?) in recollection I had to stop coming to catch my breath. MasterDoc was amazed.

After the first round of sex I got to select the next porn, and of course I put on something kinky. We cuddled and watched that for a while. He had me put a condom on him in preparation for the next time and told me to suck his cock hard. (The condom deadens sensations a little, so I can get much rougher when he has a  condom on.) I threw myself into sucking his cock roughly. Then MasterDoc put me on my knees on the liberator wedge at the edge of the bed. The wedge put me up just high enough for the penetration to be perfect. Oh god, did I get into the fucking that time. My moaning at times like that must be so animalistic. I feel amazing and struggle to hold back from coming. When he let me come I came long and hard.

I fell foward when he told me to, and caught my breath. I really felt like a cuddle would be nice, but MasterDoc’s phone rang while we were having sex so he checked it and had to get back to someone right away. Instead of sulking or getting cranky, I decided to be patient, and then when he was available to state my need – a cuddle. And of course I got the cuddle I needed. I went to bed last night feeling happy and wishing my time with MasterDoc could last even longer.

Lately I find myself longing to be in my collar and being submissive. I miss when MasterDoc and I would do shows for people. We’ve fallen into a bit of a rut sometimes – although it’s understandable since MasterDoc has been sick and had back issues as of late. There are some days when I long for him to do something to me which I detest, just so I can feel turned on by his control over me. I long for an extended period of pain before sex. I’m a kinky mofo indeed.

As I sit down tonight to write about the fantastic sex I had last night, I think of how some days I get bored writing about sex. Mind you, I don’t get bored having sex. But some days it feels like I say the same thing over and over here, “Blah blah blah, penis in vagina, blah blah blah, moan, writhe, pant, gasp, blah blah blah, not allowed to come for a while, blah blah blah, amazing orgasm.”

Again, I repeat that doing all this isn’t the least bit boring. Oh no. It’s fantastically exciting. But writing about it some days makes me wanna snooze.

So instead of a play-by-play, I’m going to reflect here on some thoughts I had last night and some moments that were particularly hot/intense. We had sex twice, my collar was on, although even when we forget to put my collar on I fall into sub mode when we have sex. MasterDoc is pretty relaxed when my collar is off, but there’s the understanding that even without my collar sometimes there’s times where my added respect is warranted. For example, when he gives me a direct order. Or when we’re getting down and dirty in bed. That’s when I either put in the “Sirs” myself or he reminds me. I know that some people always call their Dom or owner “Master” or “Sir” but I’m very happy to be in a more relaxed relationship. I do, however, have to work harder on making use I use the honorific “Sir” when my collar is on. As much as I love submitting to him, I can have a hard time with remembering “Sir.”

I’m only human, and some days/moments submitting is hard. I don’t feel like doing what he’s asking of me, or I’m cranky, or I’m feeling rebellious. But sometimes, things are just the opposite. Last night I was delighted to submit to him, delighted to wear the collar. Being his sub felt so right. I didn’t want to take the collar off. I felt so happy and thankful that my submissive side has been fulfilled by this relationship with MasterDoc. I’ve never had a D/s relationship before, I’ve only played prior to this, but it feels so good.

And not only does it fulfill a part of me, submitting is also incredibly hot. I kept thinking last night how the fact that whenever he wants a blow job, he can just tell me to do it and he gets one – this is really hot. Vanilla guys have to sometimes persuade their girlfriends to blow them, a Dom merely requests what he wants and get it. And that power is sexy. The fact that he controls my orgasms makes my arousal more intense. I had a blissful period of time last night, when I was on all fours, hugging a pillow and being fucked from behind, where I was in such ecstasy and yet such tension wanting to come. He really pushed me last night, and I bit my thumb, moaned, opened my eyes every now and then (and then they’d roll back into my head). He really kept me on the edge for an extended period of time. And when I came I worked hard to not let my muscles push him out – I did quite well although controlling that results in a strange sort of orgasm. I come, but it’s in fits and spurts.

Earlier, I rode him, my legs weary from exercise but my spirit being willing enough to propel me up and down on his cock.

After I’ve come, I’m speechless. The only speech I manage to regain quickly is the ability to say, “Thank you, Sir.” Then I lay down and bask in the afterglow – and catch my breath. As I cuddled up close to him last night I thought, “Life is good. I’m happy.”

(We used a new riding crop I got to review last night, and the pain was part of the pleasure for me. A review will come along shortly.)