I think there are a few reasons why places have dress codes, and I don’t think posturing is one of them. Though that does abound…

The first one I can think of is to keep out the lookie-loos. I’m not saying that you have to be in uniform for me to feel comfortable playing in front of you, but I always feel a bit uncomfortable when there is that lone guy in the corner in his street clothes. It makes me wonder what he’s doing… is he just more comfortable that way, is he new, is he a reporter, a cop, a voyeur? We’re not all exhibitionists. Some of us don’t want to play in front of people we don’t share kinky values with. Now the same guy with a bunch of others that seem to belong… comfort reestablished.

The second reason falls into line with why I think it’s unacceptable to wear pajamas in public. Though some people may not feel like getting dressed and being presentable (uh… me), I think it’s inappropriate to appear in public like you rolled out of bed. It seems like a love of comfort has replaced the idea that there are outdoor and indoor clothes. I think it’s silly that people have to be told that they should fix their hair, wear actual shoes, and generally look like they intended to go out, rather than that they were suddenly teleported into public. Similarly, I think dressing nicely at an event of any kind is a show of respect for the people you’re sharing space with. You don’t have to wear designer gowns at a cocktail party, but it’s not really cool to show up in jeans - even if that’s what makes YOU comfortable and happy. I think the same applies to some fetish events. I don’t think mandating latex and leather is fair, but I think requiring some kind of non-street clothes is perfectly reasonable. It is an event and the atmosphere is supposed to be a little more formal than someone’s living room. Besides… it should be coming off soon enough anyway.
I’m with you on the weird alcohol rules though… here in SF there are some places that will not allow alcohol of any kind. “It’s a dungeon, not a bar!” And I’m an adult, not a child; I can have a glass of champagne and still be safe. And who isn’t for nipples?

Very responsible not only to both of your loves but also to yourself.

I am very proud to be a reader of yours.

FM

The root issue for all of these and which you manifest here, dear librarian, is trust. And a bit of faith.

I am glad that you are having fun though, considering the trials of the last few weeks.

AmericanPrimitive

That song always makes me tear up, in a sentimental-but-happy way. A good friend of old used that as their recessional song for their wedding (outdoors, barefoot in the yard sort of wedding….very “them”, and still beautiful). I think I’ll use it for mine perhaps, as well, I’m not sure.

I can empathize with you on the whole visiting home when things have changed so dramatically.

You can never go home, but the beauty of it is - and as you have done - you can create your own home.

Enjoying your blog tremendously.

fpr