Category Archive for ‘analingus’ at Diary of a Kinky Librarian

Archive for the 'analingus' Category

No Worries

Published

Nadia

on March 13, 2009

in D/s, analingus, bdsm, edge play, piss play and trust

. 1 Comment

I received a concerned email after my last post, which I understand (and appreciate!) but I want to make sure that everyone realizes I’m okay. Yes, MasterDoc pushes my limits, and yes, I can adamantly say no. The person who wrote was concerned that doing anything for your Dom is a slippery slope, and while with some men it can be, MasterDoc is not going to make me do anything as wrong as hiding bodies or anything like that. (Besides, I have enough of a brain in my head to know that something like murder would land me in jail and NOBODY is worth that shit and no one who loves me would make me do that.) He gradually introduces new things - mostly by introducing the idea at first. He conditions me to get used to these things he wants to do (and again, let me point out that it’s not anything that will bring me or anyone else harm) and eventually introduces them. When I met him I couldn’t picture anyone pissing on me, or me performing analingus, but I’ve experienced both those things now. And you know what? While I still don’t like ass licking, I’ve come to no harm mentally or physically. I don’t crave him peeing on me but the worst part of the situation was that the tub I lay in was cold. Seriously. He’s also never introduced something that he hadn’t mentioned being interested in at the outset. I get fair warning as to what he eventually expects from me… and murder, harm or any sort of crazy thing like that is NOT on the menu. I have time to dig my heels in and say no. And if he were ever to suggest something harmful I would say no and walk away.

Also, for those of you who don’t know MasterDoc you probably don’t realize that a large portion of the time he threatens disgusting things it’s a headfuck. And the headfuck is part of the D/s playing between us. (Sometimes I get really turned on when he scares me, or when he humiliates me. I’m a sick freak, I know. Last night he admitted that his plan (preempted by our playmate canceling for today) was never actually to piss in my mouth. He figured if he threatened it then I’d be over the moon at him simply pissing on me. He’d tell me that I’d better make it convincing that I’m enjoying his pee on me or he’d piss in my mouth then. But he acknowledges that I’m not ready for the mouth pissing thing. I’ve told him it will be quite some time before I am. But he would not be the Dom if he didn’t keep trying to condition me to submit that far. Is this unusual compared to vanilla relationships? Hell yes. But I have developed enough trust and confidence to know he won’t do anything that will truly harm me. Sometimes the headfuck gets me worried, but inevitably he soothes me and lets me know it’s just a headfuck. (For now!) Our relationship is unusual, but it works for us.

While I’m glad and relieved that there will be no pee in my mouth today, unfortunately MasterDoc needed to take some ritalin to get things done (he has ADD) and sex isn’t in the cards for today. I’ve been trying out my new SaSi and a review will come after I feel I’ve given it a fair trial.

Newsflash: Nadia Turns Down Sex!

Published

Nadia

on December 18, 2008

in D/s, Uncategorized, analingus, bdsm, edge play, illness, piss play, sex and trust

. 0 Comments

It’s been a craptacular week all around. If you follow my twitter you know I’ve been sick with a stomach virus the past few days. I feel pretty awful. I also heard about some bad news at work. The economy is definitely affecting libraries, meanwhile usage stats are going up! Please, support your local library. They provide knowledge, entertainment and internet access for FREE and are a vital service to a healthy community, especially in these hard times.

So on to the news. Yes, yesterday I was with MasterDoc and I turned down the idea of sex. I know, I know it’s amazing but it does happen from time to time and being sick is definitely up there on the list of reasons to turn down sex. I’m just too tired and battling occasional nausea. I was going to help MasterDoc jerk off but I found that it was even hard to watch porn because the gagging on cock scenes made me more queasy. In the end, he went and took care of things himself while I zoned out on the sofa in front of the tv. It was really weird to have him doing things for me. It’s wonderful that he will take care of me when I’m sick but of course it makes the dynamic go a bit pear-shaped temporarily. I found myself getting up and getting drinks and putting away clean dishes because I’m so used to it. I did give myself a break, however, as I really don’t feel well. I was the only one on my case to do stuff as usual, MasterDoc accepts that I’m not well and that I need a little taking care of for the time being.

We did find one fun thing to do together yesterday, and that was reviewing my bdsm checklist. (Quite like the one found here.) If you do bdsm, you have probably come across checklists before. They’re pretty useful when you’re playing with someone new to find out what their limits and interests are. He had me fill it out when I first met him, and then again review it a few months later to see if anything had changed. We went through the list this time together and he made notes for future reference. *grin*

Hey, if you can’t have sex, the next best thing is to talk about it!

While the focus sometimes feels like it’s on what limits of mine have weakened and can be pushed, he also pays attention to areas that have perhaps been neglected - things that I wish we would do more or things that we both have an interest in doing but haven’t done. It’s interesting how in the course of a D/s relationship your limits - or what you perceive to be your limits - can change. Things that I first put down as a hard limit (rimming, being peed on) are things I’ve now done. I’m sure some people will be up in arms at the idea of a Dom “going there” with a subs’ “hard limits” but it’s interesting how you can adjust to things when they’re talked about a lot beforehand. MasterDoc has proven very good at discerning what are my truly hard limits (choking, because being asthmatic I’ve dealt with the very scary feeling of not being able to breathe and I don’t like it) and what are things that I find distasteful but will survive doing without mental scars (rimming, pee). Over the course of my explorations in bdsm I’ve found things that initially put me off now seem fascinating - like needle play. There’s some things I’m excited that we’re planning to do (butt plug under clothes out in public, like when we go to a swing club) and things that make me nervous (peeing in front of an audience) but somehow play into the fact that I do like some humiliation and fear play. (And MasterDoc is oh so good at fear play - mainly because the things he threatens he might really do! I have reason to be afraid! You really never know what he’s saying just to scare you and what he’s saying because he plans to do it down the line. Yes, I can see that this situation would not be for everyone.) Reviewing the list was fun but also made me a wee bit nervous.

Foursome

Published

Nadia

on September 18, 2008

in analingus, foursome, swinging and vacation

. 0 Comments

Been away with Davey this week. We had a lovely time - ate too much (and unhealthily at times - sweet crepes for breakfast AND lunch one day), drank too much, and indulged in some sexy stuff. All in all, a good vacation. The other night we met up with a couple. Davey had put an ad on craigslist trying to find couples to play with at our destination. We only got one satisfactory response (i.e., someone who took a moment to write a couple of lines to pique our interest) and we arranged to meet them in a bar by our hotel.

I was nervous meeting them, after all I wasn’t particularly attracted to the guy from the picture he sent, what if there was zero chemistry and we wanted to bail? Luckily when we met them he was better looking than his photo, and at any rate feeling comfortable with someone is more important to me than looks ultimately. We had drinks with them and chatted a bit. They were nice but I doubt they’d be a couple we’d hang out with regularly if they lived nearby. We clicked enough, but when all was said and done it wasn’t an experience I’d go out of my way to repeat. Yes I know I’m a spoiled bitch that I can turn my nose up at reasonably decent vanilla sex but it was just ok. I came, yes, but I had to really focus and work on those orgasms.

So we chatted for a while then they asked if we wanted to hang out or get some rest. I said let’s go hang out and so we went up to our hotel room. After a few minutes all of us ended up sitting on the bed, but getting things started was the awkward part. (There was MUCH awkwardness.) Davey is fairly shy and he was all the way at the other end of the bed, on the other side of me. I at least tried to sit close to the couple, within arm’s length, but I wasn’t any good at instigating. We talked for quite a while longer and I just kept thinking, “How on earth are we going to start this? I wish they’d start something.” And eventually that was the solution, the guy grabbed his woman and started kissing her deeply and groping her breasts. Davey kissed me for a bit as well. We chatted some more and the guy reached out his hand and took mine. Somehow I eventually ended up making out with him and the woman moved closer to Davey and started making out with him. The swap had finally been successful.

So I fooled around with the guy and Davey fooled around with the woman. Every so often I’d look over to see Davey going down on her and she was moaning and writhing around. In the meanwhile, the guy passionately sucked on my nipples and got me to take my shirt off. He took his shirt off as well and I was momentarily dismayed to find that he’s really hairy (not my thing) but wasn’t as squicked by it as I would have thought I’d be. Soon, he had my pants off as well and was going down on me. It felt good but it wasn’t until he added his fingers inside me that I was able to come. He got me propped up on a pillow and kept moving his tongue lower and lower. Yes, folks, for the first time ever someone has licked my asshole. It felt nice but I really don’t get what all the fuss is about. He not only licked me there but he wet his finger and slid it inside. He fingered my ass while eating me out and I came again. It felt really naughty to have this complete stranger ravaging my asshole like that.

I sucked him briefly but he had me get on hands and knees for a fucking. He fucked me doggy style for a while and Davey was still fingering and going down on the woman. I ended up on my back again and he went down on me some more. By this time I was sweating bullets and needed a break. After a short break he went down on me some more and fucked me again. The thing is, I’m a kinky girl and while he was fucking me I closed my eyes and thought of MasterDoc slapping my face to add some excitement to what was going on. When he was fucking me doggy style he lightly slapped my ass (and I do mean lightly) and I thought to myself, “You call that a spank?” and chuckled inwardly at how this guy would probably be a little freaked to know just how kinky I am. (They didn’t seem the kinky type.) All in all it was just an ok experience. It was fun to watch Davey’s face as the woman went down on him, and the experience wasn’t totally terrible, but I feel really lukewarm about the whole thing. I think in a lot of respects it was too vanilla for me. Or maybe I just didn’t have enough chemistry with the guy. I dunno.

The night before that Davey and I went to a strip club and unfortunately it was pretty slow, and the dancers seemed bored. We had a couple of drinks but mostly it was a waste of time. The one dancer who really put effort into her show was unfortunately quite thin and not curvy, so she wasn’t my type. It’s a shame because had she been curvy I would have quite enjoyed her show. The curvy stripper was totally predictable, every time she’d grab her nipples I knew that next came her right hand sliding down to touch her crotch - every freakin’ time! The same moves, over and over again.

Thankfully, the food and drink on vacation was stellar for the most part, so that made up for the sexy bits being a little underwhelming. On our last night there Davey and I went out to a fancy restaurant, polished off a bottle of wine (after having had beer cocktails before dinner) and went back to the hotel to drunkenly fuck. *grin* During the days we did the tourist thing. It was a short vacation but I love travel so much that I’m glad to even have just a few days away.

Firsts

Published

Nadia

on November 23, 2007

in analingus, masturbation and sex

. 1 Comment

Today was the first day I called up MasterDoc to ask permission to masturbate. I felt kinda funny bothering him but I was really horny and as I’m spending the day alone I couldn’t think about anything else. He text messaged back that I had permission. Yay! I immediately went to the bedroom, got out my magic wand and popped some porn in the dvd player. Soon I was coming and even squirting a little. I felt much better after that although I still felt horny.

The other day I forgot to mention something I did for the first time - licked ass. MasterDoc had been threatening to have me do it for a long time, and he finally had me do it. It wasn’t too bad to lick around the general area, as I did out of an aversion to licking the hole directly, but he specifically ordered me to get my tongue in there. It wasn’t as unpleasant as I thought it would be, but it’s not something that turns me on at all. Of course, MasterDoc doesn’t care if it turns me on or not, as that’s not the point. I can imagine that it feels good but no one’s ever done that to me. (Yes, there’s actually something I’ve never experienced.) I’ll have to imagine it feeling good when I’m asked to be a submissive slut and do it.