Diary of a Kinky Librarian

I’ve never laughed so hard as I did while reading this site: Sex in Christ. Consider, if you will, this snippet from the page on “Fisting and God’s Will:”

On a symbolic and sexual level, a wife who is fisted by her husband has the experience of surrendering completely to the divine love and power of the Lord, as embodied by her partner’s hand.

And:

Before attempting fisting, a Christian husband and wife should pray together and ask for divine guidance. The husband should ask that God guide his hand and work through him, and for the skill and patience to fist his wife correctly and maximize her pleasure. The wife should pray for openness and readiness to receive God’s love and grace in the form of her husband’s hand.

Yup, someone out there has figured out how to justify his kinky desires with the bible. I say “his” because it’s pretty clear the writer is a heterosexual male. Take a look at the pages on BDSM and threesomes. Hey, two chicks getting it on isn’t prohibited in the bible apparently, but two dudes? No way man! And should a woman submit to her husband? Hell yeah. And a man can submit to his wife only if they resume “natural” roles once outside the bedroom.

Godless heathen that I am, I don’t worry about such things. But it’s good to know that Christians can enjoy some fun with their God’s consent. Perhaps funniest is the page with reader questions and answers. Who knew that Christ gave women instruction in giving blow jobs to their husbands?