Author Archive for Nadia

Thoughts on Porn

Published
by
Nadia
on June 17, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, horny, kink, porn and sex
. 0 Comments

Last night, MasterDoc and I watched some porn as usual. When I’m put in charge of selecting porn I generally pick something from kink.com. Last night, he made the selection, and it was a vanilla group sex porn. Now, I find group sex a turn on, but I wasn’t especially turned on by the porn last night. It took me a while to get worked up, even when I was already on top riding him - and he had played with my pussy for a while, which I enjoyed. I wondered why it was hard for me to get into the sex. (Besides the fact that this was the worst porn I can recall seeing.)

It dawned on me, in the kink.com videos the women are engaged in the sex/kink they’re having. It’s hot because you’re watching something real happen. Now, not all vanilla porn is staged, but I find that the women seem like they’re faking it much more often in vanilla porn. And it’s the fakeness that turns me off. It’s much easier to fake vanilla sex - just lube yourself up and get fucked while making moans of supposed ecstasy. But when you’re being dommed your brain is engaged with the situation as well as your body. And that’s fucking hot. So I don’t think it’s just because I’m a kinky mofo that I prefer kink porn, I think it’s also the degree of engagement in the female performers. I want to watch hot sex - not people going through the motions.

It also helps that kink.com is known for being ethical and respectful of their performers. (Now if they’d only branch out into models with different body types, we’d be set.)

I did manage to get into things and have a great orgasm - and for the first time (?) in recollection I had to stop coming to catch my breath. MasterDoc was amazed.

After the first round of sex I got to select the next porn, and of course I put on something kinky. We cuddled and watched that for a while. He had me put a condom on him in preparation for the next time and told me to suck his cock hard. (The condom deadens sensations a little, so I can get much rougher when he has a  condom on.) I threw myself into sucking his cock roughly. Then MasterDoc put me on my knees on the liberator wedge at the edge of the bed. The wedge put me up just high enough for the penetration to be perfect. Oh god, did I get into the fucking that time. My moaning at times like that must be so animalistic. I feel amazing and struggle to hold back from coming. When he let me come I came long and hard.

I fell foward when he told me to, and caught my breath. I really felt like a cuddle would be nice, but MasterDoc’s phone rang while we were having sex so he checked it and had to get back to someone right away. Instead of sulking or getting cranky, I decided to be patient, and then when he was available to state my need - a cuddle. And of course I got the cuddle I needed. I went to bed last night feeling happy and wishing my time with MasterDoc could last even longer.

Lately I find myself longing to be in my collar and being submissive. I miss when MasterDoc and I would do shows for people. We’ve fallen into a bit of a rut sometimes - although it’s understandable since MasterDoc has been sick and had back issues as of late. There are some days when I long for him to do something to me which I detest, just so I can feel turned on by his control over me. I long for an extended period of pain before sex. I’m a kinky mofo indeed.

Not Another Play-by-Play

Published
by
Nadia
on June 11, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blog, blow jobs, dom, emotions, masochism, musings, orgasm denial, sex, spanking and submissive
. 0 Comments

As I sit down tonight to write about the fantastic sex I had last night, I think of how some days I get bored writing about sex. Mind you, I don’t get bored having sex. But some days it feels like I say the same thing over and over here, “Blah blah blah, penis in vagina, blah blah blah, moan, writhe, pant, gasp, blah blah blah, not allowed to come for a while, blah blah blah, amazing orgasm.”

Again, I repeat that doing all this isn’t the least bit boring. Oh no. It’s fantastically exciting. But writing about it some days makes me wanna snooze.

So instead of a play-by-play, I’m going to reflect here on some thoughts I had last night and some moments that were particularly hot/intense. We had sex twice, my collar was on, although even when we forget to put my collar on I fall into sub mode when we have sex. MasterDoc is pretty relaxed when my collar is off, but there’s the understanding that even without my collar sometimes there’s times where my added respect is warranted. For example, when he gives me a direct order. Or when we’re getting down and dirty in bed. That’s when I either put in the “Sirs” myself or he reminds me. I know that some people always call their Dom or owner “Master” or “Sir” but I’m very happy to be in a more relaxed relationship. I do, however, have to work harder on making use I use the honorific “Sir” when my collar is on. As much as I love submitting to him, I can have a hard time with remembering “Sir.”

I’m only human, and some days/moments submitting is hard. I don’t feel like doing what he’s asking of me, or I’m cranky, or I’m feeling rebellious. But sometimes, things are just the opposite. Last night I was delighted to submit to him, delighted to wear the collar. Being his sub felt so right. I didn’t want to take the collar off. I felt so happy and thankful that my submissive side has been fulfilled by this relationship with MasterDoc. I’ve never had a D/s relationship before, I’ve only played prior to this, but it feels so good.

And not only does it fulfill a part of me, submitting is also incredibly hot. I kept thinking last night how the fact that whenever he wants a blow job, he can just tell me to do it and he gets one - this is really hot. Vanilla guys have to sometimes persuade their girlfriends to blow them, a Dom merely requests what he wants and get it. And that power is sexy. The fact that he controls my orgasms makes my arousal more intense. I had a blissful period of time last night, when I was on all fours, hugging a pillow and being fucked from behind, where I was in such ecstasy and yet such tension wanting to come. He really pushed me last night, and I bit my thumb, moaned, opened my eyes every now and then (and then they’d roll back into my head). He really kept me on the edge for an extended period of time. And when I came I worked hard to not let my muscles push him out - I did quite well although controlling that results in a strange sort of orgasm. I come, but it’s in fits and spurts.

Earlier, I rode him, my legs weary from exercise but my spirit being willing enough to propel me up and down on his cock.

After I’ve come, I’m speechless. The only speech I manage to regain quickly is the ability to say, “Thank you, Sir.” Then I lay down and bask in the afterglow - and catch my breath. As I cuddled up close to him last night I thought, “Life is good. I’m happy.”

(We used a new riding crop I got to review last night, and the pain was part of the pleasure for me. A review will come along shortly.)

Pleasurists #32

Published
by
Nadia
on June 11, 2009
in Uncategorized, pleasurists, reviews and sex toys
. 0 Comments

pearls

via art-or-porn from www.nuexpo.com

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #31? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #33? Submit it here before Sunday June 14th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

  • Midgets, fat men and baby carriages…oh my! Ninn Worx Collector’s Edition of “Catherine” by Laurel

  • [F]rankly, I don’t think good porn should leave you questioning what you just saw. I don’t think good porn should leaving you thinking at all after watching it. [...] So, if you can ignore the midget, the fat man and the baby carriage and everything else that seems out of place in an adult film, this is totally worth watching.

    Editor’s Note: I love unique products and good reviews, and this review happens to have both! It’s amusing while giving a good idea of the movie and just how amazingly weird it is. Artistic porn sounds like a good idea, right?

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books

Adult Movies/Porn

Miscellaneous

Pleasurists adult product review round-up banner

An Open Fan Letter to Sex Bloggers

Published
by
Nadia
on June 8, 2009
in Uncategorized, best sex bloggers, blog, blogs and musings
. 1 Comment

While I am a sex blogger, I’m also an admirer of sex bloggers. I often lament that there’s not enough time in the day to follow all the excellent sex blogs out there. I have many in my feed reader but come across others all the time that I feel I should be following. I want to support the community by putting excellent blogs in my blogroll and by reading (and perhaps occasionally commenting although I’m not good about that) these quality blogs. Unfortunately, the more I put in my reader the less complete blog entries I manage to read. Being overwhelmed with sexy, informative, amusing, and moving posts tends to lead to more “quantity” and less “quality” in my sex blog reading life.

I sometimes find myself wishing that I lived or worked in New York City, because there’s all sorts of sexy events attended by sex bloggers on weekday evenings that are hard for me to get to. I’m sure they don’t realize this, but to an “outsider” (using the term loosely) the whole thing seems terribly glamorous. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with a bunch of sexy, sex-positive, smart and dynamic women? (Yes, there are guy bloggers too but I find myself mostly following women’s blogs.) I feel a bit like a groupie at times - wanting to be part of this glamorous grouping and yet feeling like I’m just dorky old me who doesn’t fit in.

Of course, all these sex bloggers (in NYC and elsewhere) who I admire probably think of themselves (at least some of the time) as “dorky old me” as well. I know that I certainly don’t think of myself as someone who’s part of the “cool crowd” but to someone on the outside I might seem that way. And that’s odd to think about. There’s a certain glamour to being a sex blogger, even if the blogger doesn’t feel that way about themselves. So I want to tell all you wonderful sex bloggers who I read: I look at you as the “cool kids” who I’d love to hang out with. And I appreciate that when it comes down to it, bloggers are regular people who welcome me to join them at these cool events. My only wish was that I was better able to get to them.

Horny Sunday

Published
by
Nadia
on June 7, 2009
in Uncategorized, anal, blow jobs, orgasm on command and sex
. 2 Comments

Today, I was really horny. I was determined to lure MasterDoc into having sex with me. I put on some porn, in particular some rough porn that he had bookmarked. (I will share the link but be warned, it’s definitely not for everyone. It’s very rough. Could definitely be triggering for survivors of sexual violence. I also want to state that while this turns me on as a fantasy, I wouldn’t do it with just anyone.) I watch the intense porn, getting wet while doing so. He knows that I’m trying to get him to have sex with me, but he’s intent on getting his Wii Fit done. I take the rough sex porn into the bedroom so I can masturbate. A short while later he joins me as I’ve got the bullet on clit and the curve dildo in pussy. He touches me, strokes and grabs my butt and runs his hands along my arms. He plays with the dildo a bit. I get really aroused from having him help me masturbate. He asks if he should let me come and I beg for it. He thinks on it for a while and I keep pressing the vibrating bullet against my hard clit. When he gives me permission to come, I come hard and loud. (One of these days the neighbors are bound to complain!) I come for a while, and he tells me, “One more, then that’s enough for you.” I ride the waves of sensation into another orgasm. He tells me that’s enough and I stop. He goes off into living room, but I keep watching porn.

After he’s gone, I use the bullet to come again. When he comes back a short while later to cuddle and I tell him I came again, he’s not so sure that it was approved. He asks if I knew I was being bad. I pointed out that I am allowed to masturbate twice a week, so this counted for one. He seems skeptical of my reasoning, but he doesn’t chastize me.

I keep prodding him hoping for more sex. He’s tired and his back hurts, plus he feels that if we’re going to have sex it should be excellent (and not boring) so my blog readers aren’t disappointed. (Yes, he really does think this.) I stroke and then suck his cock til it’s hard, hoping to entice him into sex. But then he has to let his cock go down so he can go pee. (Thankfully, he deferred peeing on me for another day.) He bemoans my extreme randiness. I say, isn’t it every man’s fantasy to have a nymphomaniac?

“When they’re 30. Not when they’re 54,” he says. “When they’re 54 they want a woman who will cook and clean.”

I declare that I want something up my ass. While he’s using the bathroom, I get the ripple butt plug and I finger my clit. He returns and says, “You’re playing with yourself again?” I smile naughtily. He lays next to me and plays with my pussy a little bit - just gently touching it. Eventually tells me to go ahead and put the plug in my ass. I lube it up and slide it in, enjoying feeling full. In the meantime, he’s stroking his cock and getting it hard again. He has me get a condom, and I get up to get one, leaving the plug in my ass. He fucks me from behind while the butt plug is in my ass. He presses in on the plug every so often and I moan louder at these points. I grunt and moan as it feels so good to have two holes filled. I beg to be able to come but he doesn’t let me right away. When he does tell me to come I had backed down slightly from the edge of orgasm and it took a great deal of concentration (and several seconds) to come. But I came.

Afterward, I could have gone for even more orgasms, but I decided I’d better be good and not ask for any more. He keeps calling me a greedy girl. I say I’m just horny.

Ride, Nadia, Ride

Published
by
Nadia
on June 7, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, horny and sex
. 0 Comments

On Saturday night we stayed in. I was more inclined to stay home and I appreciate that we did that although I think he’d have preferred to have some new couple over. I wasn’t feeling particularly social.

Every so often he likes to have someone listen to us on the telephone. He spent some time navigating a phone chat service, having me record messages every so often. He told me to start playing with my bullet vibe and I lay back on the bed, my feet towards his head, legs spread open and start rubbing the vibrating bullet on my clit. He reminded me that he’d like me to go slowly with getting myself aroused. I stroke the bullet along my labia, teasing the clitoris every so often. The vibrations on my lips are less intense than the ones on my clit. Overall I’m not that into having someone listen in, but once things got started I was really getting into the idea of submitting to him while someone could hear.

He must have decided to give up on the phone as he put it down and had me suck his cock. I threw myself into it, getting it in deep. I’m proud of myself that I have a much better handle on my gag reflex now than I used to. I love slurping his cock up into my mouth, swirling my tongue on his head. My saliva gets flowing and I lick the length of his cock in between taking as much of it into my mouth as possible.

He had me get on top to ride. My body was tired from exercising earlier, but if I focused on my arousal I could forget about the fatigue. I rode him long and slow, gradually increasing in speed. As he let me come he slapped my face and this made me come harder.

After a break he had me ride again until my body was worn out and I felt like I couldn’t go on any more. He had me stop, and I rested for a moment. But I could feel his cock getting hard inside me again, so I started sliding my hips back and forth. It seemed like he was going along with it, but then he chided me, “Trying to sneak in another one, huh?” I grinned because I’d been caught.

I lay down behind him as he lay on his side looking at the computer. I stroked his back gently, and I soon realized he was stroking his cock. I was still horny so I pressed my naked body up against his back and caressed his body all over. While I was doing this, he was busy making himself come. I could feel him shudder as he came.

I didn’t say anything, but I was still horny after that. I considered masturbating, but we started watching a movie and I moved on from my nagging horniness. The next day, however, I was still incredibly horny.

Beating and Review: The Curve

Published
by
Nadia
on June 6, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, depression, flogging, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, reviews, sex toys, shio, spanking and squirting
. 0 Comments

It had been a while since he beat me. I got to feeling neglected on Thursday night while he chatted up women online, I should have brought my computer so I could busy myself online as well. I got a little grumpy, but he took me into the bedroom for some cuddles and to point out that rather than getting sulky, when he’s ignoring me I’m welcome to snuggle against him now and then and see if I can distract him from what he’s doing. The next day he ignored me some more, he had an issue to deal with and he let me know that he was grumpy and I should leave him alone. So as per his request, I left him alone. Unfortunately I was feeling really needy for attention. I started to get depressed and so went and snuggled up in bed by myself.

He found me there, and asked if I was tired or just feeling blah. I told him I was feeling blah and he crawled into bed next to me to cheer me up. Later on he would point out that rather than get depressed, I should express my needs so he knows that I need attention. He said he didn’t want to reinforce bad behavior (sulking, getting depressed) so next time I want attention I should ask for it.

Despite his not wanting to reinforce bad behavior, he took some time to cheer me up in the foolproof way - a beating and orgasms. As I said, he hadn’t beat me in a while - I’m not really sure how long. He sucked and nibble on my nipples for a while. He had me get out some toys and my collar, and he had me get on all fours on the bed. He flogged my ass with the little flogger, gradually increasing in intensity. He’d stop and come forward so he could spank my ass with his hands, and to use the flogger on my upper back. Then he’d resume flogging my butt and thighs. He got really rough - I wasn’t sure I could handle it at times.

After several minutes of this, he had me lay on my back. He resumed flogging me, this time on my sensitive inner thighs. He had me put my hands behind my head so he could flog my breasts as well. He has terrific aim, and he hit my nipples mercilessly. He slapped my inner thighs and it hurt so much. He took to slapping, then flogging, my pussy and a few times the leather of the flogger hit my clit directly. Ouch!

I was wincing, squeezing my eyes shut. He got out the blindfold and had me put it on, he said it was easier to beat me if he couldn’t see my eyes. The blindfold blocked out all light and sight. He beat me some more, and I was unable to anticipate the blows. He’d finger my pussy a little, get me breathless and worked up, then start slapping my thighs again.

After the beating, he grabbed my new Curve dildo. I was probably already quite wet, but he used some lube on the toy. “Are you ready to get your pussy stuffed?” “Yes, Sir,” I replied.

The dildo is fairly thick and while parts of the the silicone are smooth the rest is somewhat textured. I needed more lube to get it inserted comfortably. He played with it, thrusting it in and out. The curve met my g-spot, but sometimes if he thrusted too hard he’d bang against my cervix, which hurt. He adjusted his thrust and soon I was moaning as he fucked me with the dildo. After a short while, he reached for the Hitachi Magic Wand and placed it against my clit. Ohmyfuckinggod! Being filled with the dildo and having my clit vibrated with the wand I was close to orgasm in no time. I started to beg.

“Oh, please Sir!” I gasped, “Please let me come! Please, please, please!” I was so close to orgasm I couldn’t stop begging for release. He kept me begging for a little while. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to hold back.

With the curve filling me up and the wand working on my clit, when he gave me permission to come I had one of the most amazing orgasms I have ever had. I screamed out. I writhed so that the blindfold eventually slid off my head. I grabbed at his back and the bedsheets. I kept saying, “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” over and over again. It was a very long, very intense orgasm, or series of orgasms. I squirted a big puddle on the bedsheets. The combination of The Curve and the Wand is phenomenal. I don’t know that the Curve will be my favorite dildo (I still like the glass dildoes better), but it’s definitely a hit.

The Fun Factory Curve is silicone and therefore sterilizable and phthalate-free. It’s available at sex toys shop Vibrator.com and is in their dildo section. It comes in violet or pink (I was sent my favorite color - violet!) and has a head that comes to a prounounced bump to hit your g-spot. The handle can be used to thrust it or rubbed up against your clit while your pussy is stuffed with the dildo. It’s flexible yet firm.

The Rest of the Weekend

Published
by
Nadia
on June 2, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, dom, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting and submissive
. 0 Comments

My mood improved over Saturday. By Saturday evening I was feeling reasonably sociable and our friend V. came over.  She had a new flogger that her friend made from salvaged material (rubber) and she wanted to try it out. She had tried it with her girlfriend, but there was an issue with controlling it. She wanted to have MasterDoc try it since he’s much more experienced with floggers. It quickly became clear that the strands were too long and that was the issue. After a moment’s hesitation, V. agreed that he could cut the flogger down a bit. Eight inches or so later, the flogger was much more manageable. MasterDoc used it on V.’s butt for a while, then I got a turn. Man it stung!

On Sunday he and I went out to lunch and otherwise spent the day around his place. After I finished my required Wii Fit, I went to see MasterDoc who was lying in the bedroom, watching porn. We hadn’t necessarily planned to have sex just then, but he was inspired by a bit of the porn - the submissive was tied up (suspended but on her feet) with a magic wand at her clit. She was given two minutes to come. He had me get the magic wand out, put my collar on and get undressed. He teased me with the wand until I was aching to come. Then suddenly he said, “You have two minutes to come all you want. Go.” Instantly I started to come, screaming and quivering. I kept right on coming for the full two minutes, and it was hard to stop myself when he told me to stop. It felt amazing. Next he asked me if I was ready to be fucked. Oh yes please! He had me get the Liberator Wedge to put under his ass and I got on top for a ride. I was all wet from coming just moments before. We hadn’t had sex in two weeks and it was heavenly to feel his cock inside me.

Yesterday I was acutely aware of what at turn on it is for him to have control over when I orgasm. As I rode his cock I got more and more turned on thinking about how much I wanted to come, but that I wasn’t allowed to as of yet. I kept moaning and breathing heavy, fucking him frantically, feeling his cock slide in and out of me as my clit rubbed up against his tummy. At one point he slapped my face a few times and called me a whore. Jesus, that turned me on even more. I kept hoping he’d do it again. He made me promise that if I was allowed to come that I wouldn’t let my vaginal muscles push his cock out. I knew how hard that would be but I whimpered, “I promise I’ll try my best, Sir,” as I was desperate to come. Initially it worked, I focused on controlling my vaginal muscles while also letting myself orgasm. I struggled with it and ultimately got the point where I said, “Oh I can’t help it anymore!” and my muscles clenched down and pushed his cock out. Since he had said I was only allowed to come as long as his cock was inside me he ordered me to stop right then. The command didn’t sink in and I came for another few seconds, which he was not happy with. He asked me about it after to make sure it wasn’t me willfully disobeying, and I didn’t do it intentionally.

Since MasterDoc’s been sick lately, I didn’t really think we’d have more sex later on, but we did. Lucky me! The BDSM porn from before was put on again, and I reached down into my panties and played with myself - thinking how hot it must be to see a woman who is so horny that she will just lose herself in playing with her pussy. I would steal glances at MasterDoc stroking his cock, and at the porn. I worked myself up into a frenzy and hoped that my masturbating in front of him turned him on. He had me get lube and a condom and he fucked me from behind. There was much moaning and whimpering from me as it seemed to last forever. Oh dear god, it feels amazing and frustrating at the same time. When I have vanilla sex with someone, there’s this build up to orgasm and then an orgasm. It’s pretty quick. But with submitting to MasterDoc I’m held in state of all-consuming arousal for an extended period of time. I had such a hard time holding back. He fucked me hard and made me desperate to come. When I came, I squirted and fell forward after his cock was pushed out of me. I kept coming, and he kept stroking my back, grabbing my hair and touching me to prolong the feeling. I later had the thought that it must feel amazing to be able to make me come like that - intense orgasms even while there’s no direct genital contact.

After rest, there was some more fucking. This time I was on my back. I was pleasantly surprised at MasterDoc’s stamina considering he’s been sick and having back pain lately. Usually, after we fuck I’m in this blissful state where I curl up against him and stroke his chest… my arousal not abating. I get hopeful that my touching him and kissing his chest will get him to fuck me again, and very often I’m successful. (Of course, it is more than likely true that he wants to fuck some more and it’s not just my desire that fuels it.) On Sunday night I didn’t want to be too aggressive though, as I knew he hadn’t been feeling well. But he fucked me for a while and let me come - slapping my pussy to keep me coming (and squirting).

Now, three wonderful fucks in one day would have been enough to make me VERY happy. But he decided to fuck me again, this time with me on top. He reached around and slapped my ass which just drove me wild. I’m very lucky to have a Dom who wants to have sex over and over in an evening. By the time the evening was over, I was grinning like an idiot and amazingly happy. Good sex cures my depression pretty much every time - I haven’t felt depressed since.

I noticed that evening the feeling of intimacy that comes from being submissive to someone (over a long period of time). It’s not quite there in vanilla sex. My pleasure is directly tied to his pleasure and choices as to what we do, and as such that’s extremely intimate.

He asked me, “So was that worth waiting two weeks for?” Hell yes!

The Start of the Weekend

Published
by
Nadia
on May 30, 2009
in D/s, bdsm, depression, dom and emotions
. 0 Comments

(I’m back dating this entry to Saturday, when I actually wrote it. Shortly I’ll follow this up with an entry on how much better the weekend got.)

I was hoping to have more sexy stories to share with you, but unfortunately last night my back bothered me a great deal and I was depressed. I discovered yet another reason why it’s wonderful to have a doctor for a Dom, he can use his knowledge of anatomy to give you one fantastic back massage. He really presses and digs in where it needs to be loosened up and I feel much better immediately afterward.

I think I’ve been nursing a bit of a depression for at least several days now, but it didn’t dawn on me until last night. I felt incapacitated by the depression (and the backache didn’t help). I started to feel guilty that I wasn’t taking care of MasterDoc like I should (his back was bothering him and he’s still coughing and sick). So then I was adding depression about my lack of ability to fulfill my submissive duties to the depression I already had. MasterDoc is really perceptive though, and he knew to ask if my problem was just the physical part of my back hurting or if there was a psychological aspect as well. I cried a bit, not really entirely sure why I’m depressed. (This is why the illness of depression is so fun - you feel sad and miserable and have no idea why!) Work has been stressful for a long time now, that’s about all I can think of. My eating has gotten to be terrible (lots of junk) and I’m feeling more and more demotivated to exercise.

Now granted, if my back hadn’t hurt (it was iffy all day but then vacuuming MasterDoc’s living room pushed it over the edge) I probably would have had sex with him and the orgasms would have made me feel much better both physically and psychologically. But we didn’t get that far. MasterDoc was wonderful, making me laugh as best he could and making sure I knew that I’m loved. When I said that I felt bad about feeling bad, he said, “Oh no! We’ll have none of that! You can feel bad all you want but no feeling bad about feeling bad!” Teehee. I hate that I needed taking care of last night, but thankful that MasterDoc understands that I can’t control my depression. He took care of me and I’m really grateful for that.

Today I’m still feeling blue for no good reason. My back is a little better although rather stiff. I did some yoga this morning (after MasterDoc suggested it the night before) which helped get me moving. Hopefully tonight I’ll get out of this funk long enough to have sex - it’s been nearly two weeks now!

Dating Site

Published
by
Nadia
on May 28, 2009
in okcupid
. 1 Comment

Today I’ve suddenly gotten a bunch of messages on a popular vanilla dating site. From an adorable 19 year old looking to get it on with an older woman (I declined with a compliment that he’s very cute) to a 25 year old virgin looking to have me teach him how to please a woman in every way - except having sex with him. But this email, from a 51 year old guy really takes the cake. Excuse me while I gag.

“Life is so much beautiful when you have a loved one who really cares. ..One who knows what soulmate is really meant by,worth and ready to give out the best of love to the fullest.That perfect half who really understands what unconditional love implies.. love that is considered unconditional and undying; so great that one’s heart might seems to burst with the joy of it. I was just checkin out for that perfect half of mine when i came across your sweet profile which i just have to express my feelings towards you..I felt attracted to you and really like your profile due to the beautiful words on it even to this day, because your soul spoke to me through your eyes,words even when you didn’t know it. It’s the part of you, that you hold the secret
to, that many don’t see, and I want to dig deeper to get and find the real woman and friend in you”

*gag*