Archive for the 'submissive' Category

“He gave them pain like balm, and they begged him for it”

Published
by
Nadia
on June 24, 2009
in D/s, bdsm, embarrassment, masochism, piss play, porn, sadism, sex, sex toys, spanking and submissive
. 1 Comment

I’m reading a fantasy novel right now, suggested to me a while back by my friend Divasub. It’s called Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey. I’ve just come across the bdsm themes in the book, and now understand why she recommended it to me.

“Alone among angels, Kushiel understood that the act of chastisement was an act of love; and the sinner in his charge too came to understand, and loved him for it. He gave them pain like balm, and they begged him for it, finding in it not redemption, but a love that transcended the divine.”

This flowery prose seemed lovely to me when I read it this morning. Last night MasterDoc was wonderfully dominating and it was so what I needed.

At the start of the evening, we went looking for porn online and found a librarian porn video. I can’t find the link to it now, unfortunately. (UPDATE: MasterDoc gave me the link.) It was very amateur - just one camera angle. But the “librarian” (I think her glasses were meant to identify her as a librarian) wore a collar and wrist and ankle cuffs. There was a definite bdsm overtone to the video. And while going down on the guy, she put her hands between his legs to massage his inner thighs - just like I do with MasterDoc! We laughed and wondered if perhaps someone was inspired by our hijinks.

We tried out my new ceramic vibe. Unfortunately it was not as wonderful as I had hoped. I will review it later. I grabbed the acuvibe mini when told to get another toy and I used that to bring myself just about to the edge of orgasm. MasterDoc then had me stop, bend over the liberator scoop, and he fucked me from behind. He’d spank me every so often. It felt great and I wished that he’d let me come like that. He stopped, and started spanking me with my new crop. When that didn’t seem to be as hard as he’d like, he started spanking me with his hands. It went from painful to incredibly hot. I was on the verge of orgasm (he had me play with my clit at the same time) when he started hitting harder. He told me to come, but the pain had just crossed the threshold from stimulating to painful, so it took me a few seconds to be able to come. But I did manage. I’m surprised I didn’t squirt.

We took a break, and then he had me get on top and ride him. My knees were worn out from exercising earlier in the day, but I managed to ride for a while. I got close to orgasm, and he helped me along by asking if I was ready to come, “Right now.” Often, even if I’m not quite to that point his asking me that will put me on the edge. He told me to come, and I came. While I was coming he said, “Come now cunt, and I’ll piss on you when you’re done.” I decided that I had better enjoy my orgasm while I could, and I came really hard. I hoped that he had been just threatening the pissing. And as we cuddled after I thought perhaps that was the case.

I went to get ready for bed, and when I came back from the bathroom, he was holding my collar. “Put this on,” he said, “And come with me.”

He led me back to the door of the bathroom. It was clear that he hadn’t forgotten or threatened idly when he said he was going to piss on me. He told me to get in the tub, on my knees, and if the tub was cold well that was just tough shit. I did as I was told, wincing at the idea of what he was going to do to me. He made me say I was ready, and made me say that I wanted him to piss on me. I clenched my eyes shut as I couldn’t bear to look. He started to piss on me, and with my eyes closed I could sorta block out what it was, and just enjoy the feeling of warm liquid running over me. I could ignore the faint odor of urine and pretend it wasn’t pee. He told me to hold my tits up. I didn’t react fast enough and he ordered me to do it again. I did as I was told and he pissed all over my tits. The piss ran down my body and I was fairly drenched in it by the time he was done. I tell you, he had to have been saving that up all evening. It seemed to go on a long time.

I was feeling humiliated and stunned afterwards. He told me I could rinse off and he was kind enough to get me a towel to dry off after. I carefully rinsed myself off and patted myself dry. I found that I really needed a hug after that. Humiliation play can be pretty intense, and while I like it I definitely need a hug and reassurance of some sort afterwards. I found that while piss play was every bit as humiliating as I would imagine, I didn’t freak out or fall apart from it. Of course, I don’t know that I would have been so composed if he had pissed in my mouth.

While in theory I don’t like piss play, I have been craving some serious domination lately, and this really fit the bill. I wouldn’t let anyone else piss on me. Only he has that power over me.

I slept soundly last night. And a few minutes after waking I remembered, “Oh jeez! He pissed on me last night!”

Not Another Play-by-Play

Published
by
Nadia
on June 11, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blog, blow jobs, dom, emotions, masochism, musings, orgasm denial, sex, spanking and submissive
. 0 Comments

As I sit down tonight to write about the fantastic sex I had last night, I think of how some days I get bored writing about sex. Mind you, I don’t get bored having sex. But some days it feels like I say the same thing over and over here, “Blah blah blah, penis in vagina, blah blah blah, moan, writhe, pant, gasp, blah blah blah, not allowed to come for a while, blah blah blah, amazing orgasm.”

Again, I repeat that doing all this isn’t the least bit boring. Oh no. It’s fantastically exciting. But writing about it some days makes me wanna snooze.

So instead of a play-by-play, I’m going to reflect here on some thoughts I had last night and some moments that were particularly hot/intense. We had sex twice, my collar was on, although even when we forget to put my collar on I fall into sub mode when we have sex. MasterDoc is pretty relaxed when my collar is off, but there’s the understanding that even without my collar sometimes there’s times where my added respect is warranted. For example, when he gives me a direct order. Or when we’re getting down and dirty in bed. That’s when I either put in the “Sirs” myself or he reminds me. I know that some people always call their Dom or owner “Master” or “Sir” but I’m very happy to be in a more relaxed relationship. I do, however, have to work harder on making use I use the honorific “Sir” when my collar is on. As much as I love submitting to him, I can have a hard time with remembering “Sir.”

I’m only human, and some days/moments submitting is hard. I don’t feel like doing what he’s asking of me, or I’m cranky, or I’m feeling rebellious. But sometimes, things are just the opposite. Last night I was delighted to submit to him, delighted to wear the collar. Being his sub felt so right. I didn’t want to take the collar off. I felt so happy and thankful that my submissive side has been fulfilled by this relationship with MasterDoc. I’ve never had a D/s relationship before, I’ve only played prior to this, but it feels so good.

And not only does it fulfill a part of me, submitting is also incredibly hot. I kept thinking last night how the fact that whenever he wants a blow job, he can just tell me to do it and he gets one - this is really hot. Vanilla guys have to sometimes persuade their girlfriends to blow them, a Dom merely requests what he wants and get it. And that power is sexy. The fact that he controls my orgasms makes my arousal more intense. I had a blissful period of time last night, when I was on all fours, hugging a pillow and being fucked from behind, where I was in such ecstasy and yet such tension wanting to come. He really pushed me last night, and I bit my thumb, moaned, opened my eyes every now and then (and then they’d roll back into my head). He really kept me on the edge for an extended period of time. And when I came I worked hard to not let my muscles push him out - I did quite well although controlling that results in a strange sort of orgasm. I come, but it’s in fits and spurts.

Earlier, I rode him, my legs weary from exercise but my spirit being willing enough to propel me up and down on his cock.

After I’ve come, I’m speechless. The only speech I manage to regain quickly is the ability to say, “Thank you, Sir.” Then I lay down and bask in the afterglow - and catch my breath. As I cuddled up close to him last night I thought, “Life is good. I’m happy.”

(We used a new riding crop I got to review last night, and the pain was part of the pleasure for me. A review will come along shortly.)

The Rest of the Weekend

Published
by
Nadia
on June 2, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, dom, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting and submissive
. 0 Comments

My mood improved over Saturday. By Saturday evening I was feeling reasonably sociable and our friend V. came over.  She had a new flogger that her friend made from salvaged material (rubber) and she wanted to try it out. She had tried it with her girlfriend, but there was an issue with controlling it. She wanted to have MasterDoc try it since he’s much more experienced with floggers. It quickly became clear that the strands were too long and that was the issue. After a moment’s hesitation, V. agreed that he could cut the flogger down a bit. Eight inches or so later, the flogger was much more manageable. MasterDoc used it on V.’s butt for a while, then I got a turn. Man it stung!

On Sunday he and I went out to lunch and otherwise spent the day around his place. After I finished my required Wii Fit, I went to see MasterDoc who was lying in the bedroom, watching porn. We hadn’t necessarily planned to have sex just then, but he was inspired by a bit of the porn - the submissive was tied up (suspended but on her feet) with a magic wand at her clit. She was given two minutes to come. He had me get the magic wand out, put my collar on and get undressed. He teased me with the wand until I was aching to come. Then suddenly he said, “You have two minutes to come all you want. Go.” Instantly I started to come, screaming and quivering. I kept right on coming for the full two minutes, and it was hard to stop myself when he told me to stop. It felt amazing. Next he asked me if I was ready to be fucked. Oh yes please! He had me get the Liberator Wedge to put under his ass and I got on top for a ride. I was all wet from coming just moments before. We hadn’t had sex in two weeks and it was heavenly to feel his cock inside me.

Yesterday I was acutely aware of what at turn on it is for him to have control over when I orgasm. As I rode his cock I got more and more turned on thinking about how much I wanted to come, but that I wasn’t allowed to as of yet. I kept moaning and breathing heavy, fucking him frantically, feeling his cock slide in and out of me as my clit rubbed up against his tummy. At one point he slapped my face a few times and called me a whore. Jesus, that turned me on even more. I kept hoping he’d do it again. He made me promise that if I was allowed to come that I wouldn’t let my vaginal muscles push his cock out. I knew how hard that would be but I whimpered, “I promise I’ll try my best, Sir,” as I was desperate to come. Initially it worked, I focused on controlling my vaginal muscles while also letting myself orgasm. I struggled with it and ultimately got the point where I said, “Oh I can’t help it anymore!” and my muscles clenched down and pushed his cock out. Since he had said I was only allowed to come as long as his cock was inside me he ordered me to stop right then. The command didn’t sink in and I came for another few seconds, which he was not happy with. He asked me about it after to make sure it wasn’t me willfully disobeying, and I didn’t do it intentionally.

Since MasterDoc’s been sick lately, I didn’t really think we’d have more sex later on, but we did. Lucky me! The BDSM porn from before was put on again, and I reached down into my panties and played with myself - thinking how hot it must be to see a woman who is so horny that she will just lose herself in playing with her pussy. I would steal glances at MasterDoc stroking his cock, and at the porn. I worked myself up into a frenzy and hoped that my masturbating in front of him turned him on. He had me get lube and a condom and he fucked me from behind. There was much moaning and whimpering from me as it seemed to last forever. Oh dear god, it feels amazing and frustrating at the same time. When I have vanilla sex with someone, there’s this build up to orgasm and then an orgasm. It’s pretty quick. But with submitting to MasterDoc I’m held in state of all-consuming arousal for an extended period of time. I had such a hard time holding back. He fucked me hard and made me desperate to come. When I came, I squirted and fell forward after his cock was pushed out of me. I kept coming, and he kept stroking my back, grabbing my hair and touching me to prolong the feeling. I later had the thought that it must feel amazing to be able to make me come like that - intense orgasms even while there’s no direct genital contact.

After rest, there was some more fucking. This time I was on my back. I was pleasantly surprised at MasterDoc’s stamina considering he’s been sick and having back pain lately. Usually, after we fuck I’m in this blissful state where I curl up against him and stroke his chest… my arousal not abating. I get hopeful that my touching him and kissing his chest will get him to fuck me again, and very often I’m successful. (Of course, it is more than likely true that he wants to fuck some more and it’s not just my desire that fuels it.) On Sunday night I didn’t want to be too aggressive though, as I knew he hadn’t been feeling well. But he fucked me for a while and let me come - slapping my pussy to keep me coming (and squirting).

Now, three wonderful fucks in one day would have been enough to make me VERY happy. But he decided to fuck me again, this time with me on top. He reached around and slapped my ass which just drove me wild. I’m very lucky to have a Dom who wants to have sex over and over in an evening. By the time the evening was over, I was grinning like an idiot and amazingly happy. Good sex cures my depression pretty much every time - I haven’t felt depressed since.

I noticed that evening the feeling of intimacy that comes from being submissive to someone (over a long period of time). It’s not quite there in vanilla sex. My pleasure is directly tied to his pleasure and choices as to what we do, and as such that’s extremely intimate.

He asked me, “So was that worth waiting two weeks for?” Hell yes!

Sunday Afternoon

Published
by
Nadia
on May 11, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, cunt, horny, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, spanking, squirting and submissive
. 0 Comments

I usually try to keep things in chronological order here, but MasterDoc would like to give me input on my entr(ies) for the party we went to Saturday night. So those will come along once he’s had time to read them and give me feedback.

Meanwhile, we spent Sunday being pretty lazy. Well, I tried being lazy, but as I was giving him a hard time about always drinking beverages I’ve poured for myself (Yeah yeah bad sub, but it gets tiresome. I generally ask him if he wants something to drink when I’m getting something for myself to head this off and be a good submissive, but it doesn’t always work out that way.) and putting off doing the Wii Fit, he told me to go put my collar on. This time it was clear that we weren’t going to get naked. Instead, he ordered me to do my exercise on the Wii Fit.  I tried not to grumble as I did so, I was feeling tired and sore from a busy Saturday night (and tripping and landing on the floor at work the day before). But with the collar on I did as I was told, even though I just barely got myself through the half hour of exercise. I took a hot bath afterward and luckily cheered the fuck up after that. While I can be argumentative at times, I find that I really can’t argue with him when he’s making me do something that’s good for me - like exercise. And, well, I have to try very, very hard not to even consider arguing when the collar is on. It’s not that I can’t express disagreement, but I have to phrase it super-respectfully and not whiny.

Later in the day he had me get together a bunch of sex accoutrements - dildoes, lube, condoms and the evil strap. (That’s an actual photo of what he has, but as it’s an ebay auction it will probably expire soon. Here’s a longer term link that is similar. It’s a rubber wrench for removing oil filters.) We only have avanti condoms handy at the moment (we are woefully low on condoms) but MasterDoc pointed out that using polyurethane condoms we could use baby oil as lube.

We set up porn on both our laptops (double porning - whoo hoo!)   And he had me sit on the Escape with my legs spread and my pussy within his reach. I was uncomfortably leaning back on my elbows when he pointed out that I could use the Liberator Scoop to lean against. Another use for the Scoop! My legs spread, he spread my labia apart and looked at my pussy intently. He took his time touching me and looking. He had me give him the baby oil and he put some on my pussy. He gently stroked my clit with his oiled up finger. I closed my eyes as the blood started to really flow to my nether regions. He played with my pussy for a while and then asked me what dildoes I had brought out. He had me hand him the glass dildo I reviewed recently. He lubed it up well and started gently pushing it against my vaginal opening. Things felt a little tight at first, but he took his time and soon my body opened up for him. He’d fuck me with the dildo until I was breathing heavy and ready to come, then he’d stop for a moment. He teased me for a while.

He had me get on the Scoop, but we couldn’t get it to work right this time, so we tried the Wedge under my ass. He kept having me slide forward and still we couldn’t get things to work right. So ultimately he had me get on hands and knees. I leaned on a pillow and thrust my ass in the air. He fucked me good. Despite how much cock I had the night before I was still horny the next day, so I was glad he was up for more sex. (I wonder if guys who have insatiably lusty girlfriends ever wonder if that’s a good thing after all?) He started spanking me with the evil strap, asking me if I was ready to come. I was, I was really on the verge of coming. He kept beating me and teasing me for a while. I think he had me start to come while he was still fucking me, sometimes details get fuzzy. (I’m not exactly taking notes at the moment of orgasm.) But at some point he wasn’t fucking me any more, and he was hitting me, pretty hard, with the rubber strap, telling me to keep coming. I still came, despite the pain sometimes getting to be a little too much. I squirted while he hit me. He kept me coming for a while until I was spent.

I lay on the damp pillow after orgasm, catching my breath and basking in the afterglow. I thanked him for my orgasm (no, really, THANK YOU, SIR!). After I had recovered, I cleaned up the sex mess (condoms, wrappers, put toys away, etc.) I’m probably not seeing him for over a week now (just a slight chance of my seeing him this week) and he left me in a very happy state.

A Beautiful Moment of Submission

Published
by
Nadia
on May 10, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, dom, happy and submissive
. 0 Comments

I think sometimes I hesitate to wax poetic about being in a state of submission. I’m deliriously happy when I’m really in subspace but it seems to be antithetical to my feminist beliefs sometimes that I don’t like admitting to those feelings.

I had a beautiful moment Friday, it struck me so much that I felt I had to give it its own entry here. MasterDoc and I had just had sex in the living room, I still had my collar on and he went and lay down on the couch. And for me, the most perfect thing I could do just then was curl up on a blanket that was on the floor next to the couch. Nothing made me happier at that moment than to lie there, beneath him on the floor, and await the next time he wanted/needed me. I couldn’t see the television (porn) from where I was, so I stared off into space. But I was so amazingly happy to lie there. I felt calm, at peace, focused.
I don’t recall what he said to me, I know he asked me if I was watching the tv and I said that no, I couldn’t see it but I was happy. I can’t remember what he called upon me to do, but I was thrilled when he called upon me next. It was like the fulfillment of a deep need I had at that moment.
Unfortunately I’m not in that state all the time. I was pretty spoiled growing up. My family wasn’t rich by any stretch, but I never really wanted for anything. (I later learned my Dad would sacrifice by going without lunch so I could have things like Star Wars action figures and smurfs.) And if I wanted something, like ice cream, I could usually get my Dad to go out and get it for me that day. My relationship with Davey is a lot like my relationship with my Dad. He tends to spoil me. There’s the spoiled part of me that loves it. But then there’s a part of me that loves the fact that MasterDoc doesn’t spoil me in the same way. (He’s always saying he spoils me, and I suppose in some ways he does - he gives me lots of orgasms, for which I’m really thankful.) I have such a funny love (I don’t know if hate is the correct opposite word, it’s too strong, but I’ll use it) hate relationship with service. Part of me loves how Davey spoils me. Part of me loves how MasterDoc won’t let me get away with that. If I want ice cream (or better yet, if HE wants it) I’m the one sent out to get it. I don’t get to be lazy.
Sometimes in day to day life I’m far removed from subspace. Earlier Friday, we were moving our cars (gotta love alternate side of the street parking rules in NYC) and MasterDoc wanted me to park by him so we could pull my car up a bit later on when he went out to the store so we could ensure that I occupied two spaces so he could have a decent space when he got back. By the time we got to where we were going to park, someone else had already parked and there was just one space available. MasterDoc pulled up beside me and motioned to me to park further up the hill where there was space for two cars. I got all cranky - why go park up there? It’s further away. If someone else moves nearby when I’m taking up two spaces our plan won’t work, etc. Basically, I thought the plan for taking up two spaces wouldn’t work. For the rest of the day, he gave me a hard time about my attitude in that moment. “Would it really kill you to park a block farther? Was I really asking that much of you?” No, he wasn’t but the spoiled me didn’t want to comply.
We went out to lunch later in his car, and he found another place, closer to his building, where two cars could fit so he sent me to get my car. I still thought the idea was silly and likely not to work like we planned, but this time I tried to make up for before by getting my car without complaint. It can be hard to comply when I don’t agree with something. I’m strong willed in many ways. While submission can bring me so much happiness and peace sometimes it’s an uphill struggle. Submitting can be so freeing, but I also battle with the idea that I should be independent, think for myself completely.

Collar

Published
by
Nadia
on April 16, 2009
in D/s, bdsm and submissive
. 0 Comments

A couple of weeks ago MasterDoc asked me if I thought we were getting too casual. I don’t wear my collar so often these days and he felt that maybe this wasn’t a good thing. At the time I shrugged it off, having a relationship that’s not too serious is one of the things that I like about our relationship - we joke often and have a good time with each other.


However, this past weekend I started to feel like I missed my collar - I barely wore it this weekend. Now while I’m always his submissive and I always do things to serve him like draw his bath or get him something to drink from the kitchen, when the collar is on I’m supposed to be a bit more serious and focused on submitting and service. One thing I stumble over regularly is remembering to call him “Sir” when I have the collar on. So while I anticipate struggling with the “Sir” bit, I do find that I miss my collar and wish I had it on a bit more. (Of course, my luck will be he’ll decide I should wear it when I’m totally not in a submissive mood and then he’ll point out, “But you said you wanted to wear it more on your blog!”) There’s something I like about how I am when I’m in the collar - I’m very focused on him and on being a good girl. I become quiet and, well, submissive.

He freaks me out but boy does he make me come

Published
by
Nadia
on March 11, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, cunnilingus, orgasm on command, piss play, sex and submissive
. 0 Comments

MasterDoc has been trying to get me used to the idea of piss play for a while now. Last night he put on this video because it featured a young lady who seemed happy to get piss in her mouth (I pointed out that she’s getting paid to act like she enjoys it). Rather than making me think that it’s okay for him to piss in my mouth it made me feel freaked out and disgusted. I think pissing in someone’s mouth is so gross. Hey, if it’s your kink more power to you, but it’s not mine. But the complexity of the situation is that as his submissive I want to please him. Letting him piss in my mouth would please him. Now I know that ultimately I won’t be harmed if he does so, so it’s not a question of safety, but still I find the idea revolting. I said a few times last night, “I don’t think I can handle this.” He backed off with the threat of doing it last night, but has left the threat of doing it on Friday, when we have another submissive lady over for play time, hanging over my head. I still don’t think I can handle it. I could scarcely handle watching the video he made me watch last night. I am dreading this and truly freaked out. I started wondering last night if he was deliberately trying to make me dislike him and want to leave him or something. So piss - way low on my list of kinky things we could get up to.

Initially I had a hard time getting aroused last night because I kept dwelling on the idea of him pissing in my mouth. The very idea inhibits me getting aroused. We played with the Babelight and I had to really try to ignore the thoughts of him pissing in my mouth in order to enjoy the vibrations at all. He licked my clit while playing with the vibe and it felt divine, but it took me a while to settle into the good feelings and leave behind the icky thoughts. However, he managed to distract me with his tongue and the vibrator. I got aroused, and then when he had me use the vibe on myself I came really close to orgasm. Rowr.

He had me suck his cock and he pointed out that I hadn’t come yet. He decided to have me get on his cock and ride him, something I seem to be getting good at lately. I think I’ve improved because I really get into it, I thrust and rub myself against him until I’m in a frenzy. I was on the verge of coming and I held on for as long as I could before begging for permission to come. He teased me a bit, making me wait, asking me if I’m ready to come right now. I was and when he let me I had an orgasm to end all orgasms. I know I always brag about the orgasms I have with MasterDoc but they truly are amazing. I was a convulsing heap and it just seemed to go on and on. “Yes, that’s it. Good girl,” he said to me as I kept on coming. My arousal finally ebbed a little, but I was still really turned on so I kept fucking him and got myself up to the point of orgasm again. He encouraged me to keep coming and so I managed to get myself to peak a third time, the last time just by rubbing against his cock which had been pushed out of my cunt. I was one satisfied sub afterwards.

10, 9, 8…

Published
by
Nadia
on February 27, 2009
in D/s, bdsm, horny, masochism, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, spanking and submissive
. 0 Comments

I had been feeling horny, so when we climbed into bed, watching porn on the laptop, I got worked up in no time. I felt that familiar ache in my crotch. I was sure that I was becoming wet watching the actors on the screen. It was a scene with one woman chained up and two men taking their turns slapping her breasts and stroking her pussy. I imagined that it was my pussy being roughly played with. MasterDoc stroked my back gently and I closed my eyes to enjoy his touch. “I like touching you,” he said to me, and I smiled languidly.

I rolled onto my back to face him. He told me to get on my hands and knees by the edge of the bed. I dutifully did, my collar already around my neck. I yearned to be touched as my ass sat in the air. He slapped me, a stinging slap, first on one side of my ass then on the other. He warmed me up quickly and started hitting harder and harder. It hurt, but it hurt deliciously. He flogged me with the black rubber flogger, and its small ends stung me. He slapped me again and again. I could feel my ass turning a warm red. My head was turned to the side and I could see when he picked up the large paddle. He walked back behind me and said, “This is going to hurt.”

I put my head down and braced myself for the paddling. And it did hurt, but I found myself moaning with each hit. Not a moan of pain, but a moan of pleasure - a moan that went along with my growing arousal. It hurt, but somehow I didn’t want it to stop.

After the spanking, I was left on my knees playing with the nea he had let me have at some point. I rubbed the vibrator against my clit, yearning for more - more hitting, more pain, more pleasure, more touch. He made me look at him, and I looked in his eyes as I played with myself. He took a long look at me and I found it hard to hold his gaze. “Look at me,” he said again and I did. With my attention on him he said, “I’m going to count backwards from ten. And when I reach one I want you to come.”

He started counting, and the pressure was on. I furiously rubbed the vibrator against my clit getting my arousal up, but not up enough to come. Trying to get to that perfect point where I could come at the drop of a hat. He counted down slowly. 10. He got up off the bed and walked around behind me. 9. 8. I focused my entire being on my clit and the sound of his voice. 7. 6. As he got closer to one, I grew more and more excited. I knew that just by the sound of his voice and the power of his control over me that I would come at his command. He paused for longer between two and one than he had between the other numbers. And when he said one, I grunted and my muscles contracted. He stroked my ass and back and told me what a good girl I am as my cunt convulsed in orgasm. I kept coming and coming and he stroked the inside of my thighs, pressing himself up against me. Just by telling me to come, he enabled me to have the most amazing orgasm. I quivered, grunted, moaned, whimpered. The power radiating out from my clit took over my focus. I’m getting hot thinking about it.

He had me rest after and I lay down on my stomach, breathless. A short while later he had me suck his cock until it was hard and then he fucked me as I lay on my back. Even though I was incredibly wet from the orgasm before, it still felt like he was pushing his way into my tight cunt. I could feel his cock stretch the walls and slide into me. It felt divine being fucked. He plowed into me, thrusting and thrusting. I felt every stroke along every square inch of my vagina. He fucked me for a while, I held off coming as I know he doesn’t want me begging too quickly. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to come that time around. However, I was still glowing from the orgasm earlier and I didn’t mind too much. He fucked me for as long as he pleased.

After an orgasm and a beating, I feel so calm, so happy. My devotion to MasterDoc is rock solid at that point. No one has ever been able to make me feel the way he does.

Afternoon Fucking and Squirting

Published
by
Nadia
on January 25, 2009
in D/s, bdsm, blow jobs, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting and submissive
. 0 Comments

I’m not going to see him for a few days, but I was very lucky and we got in a couple more fucks before I left. He teased me with the magic wand, getting me writhing and moaning. I would gasp as he moved the vibrating head over my clit. He had me wiggling and trying to press my cunt harder against the wand. He would leave the wand resting on my clit then suck my breast into his mouth. I would miss the pressure of him holding the wand on me. Then he’d pick it up again and reposition it over my clit. I’d moan some more, trying to rub my clit up against the vibrating head. He got me into such a frenzy that I started to beg for permission to come. “Not yet,” he said. I was so eager and horny at that point. The vibrations felt delectable but an orgasm would feel even better.

He switched the wand off, telling me that we don’t want me to get numb (the vibrations can make me numb sometimes). He got a condom and put it on. He made me say please before he would put his cock inside me. After I said please he slid it in. I moaned slightly. He fucked me for a bit, my arousal not quite where it was with the magic wand. But then he did something different, and my arousal shot up - he slapped my face and fucked me hard a few times. Immediately I was ready to come. I gasped out, “Please.” So often I can’t get the full phrase out, “Please may I come, Sir,” so I just beg, “Please.”

He grabbed my hair and I moaned. He kept fucking me and teasing me. He slapped my face again. Finally, he said, “Come, cunt.” My cunt clenched and bore down on his cock. I grabbed at his hips, trying to pull him deeper inside me. Eventually my muscles pushed him out, and he slapped my clit hard as I continued to come. Finally he told me that I’d had enough. As I lay on the bed he turns me over a bit and slaps my ass hard several times.

We rested, I snuggled into his chest and thanked him for the orgasms. After a short break he told me to suck his cock again, that if I made it hard maybe he’d fuck me again. I ran my tongue along the shaft and around the head, I sucked it into my mouth and ran my lips tightly over the length of it. Before long he was hard again. He told me to get a condom and get on top.

His cock softened a little so it wouldn’t go in very well when I got on top. After just a few seconds, he told me to get off and suck some more. He gave me the option of taking the condom off (he knows the reservoir tip makes me gag) but I just pushed the tip down with my tongue and struggled against my gag reflex. I sucked his cock enthusiastically and it was soon hard again. I got on top and we fucked.

After a short while, his cock softened a bit again. He commanded, “Come.” and my whole body immediately tensed and I fell forward onto his chest. My legs and arms clenched as I orgasmed. I held onto him tightly. Again, I felt so lucky to be with him.

As we lay on the bed after, he turns to me and says, “Make yourself come really quickly.” It takes a few seconds for that to register in my brain but then I rub my clit frantically and within seconds I’m coming. And I’m not only coming but I’m squirting a whole lot as well. He spurs me on saying, “Yes, that’s a good girl.” When my arousal wanes slightly he says to me, “Come on, again,” and I come again. I keep squirting and coming as he strokes my body. “One last time,” he says and I rub another one out, moaning and writhing as I rub my clit. The last orgasm lasts a while and I feel so wonderful. It’s amazing how he makes my body feel. After a bit he tells me that I’ve had enough and I slowly take my hands away from my pussy. I left such a large puddle that I had to change the sheets before I left.

Feminism and Submission

Published
by
Nadia
on January 7, 2009
in feminism and submissive
. 0 Comments

Just came across this article on a fetlife chat board regarding feminism and submission. I think it makes some very interesting points about how chosen submission (because it turns you on) is an act of empowerment, but that bdsm when played out in mainstream culture (where the rules of safe, sane, consensual are not necessarily known) does run the risk of perpetuating rape culture. But yes, as I’ve said before, being a submissive is not contrary to being a feminist. And BDSM in and of itself is not responsible for perpetuating rape culture, just the misappropriation of it is.