Diary of a Kinky Librarian

Of course, after my last entry I ended up with a bunch of very nice people worried about me. I’m lucky to have a lot of wonderful friends who care about me very much. The only problem is that when I’m severely depressed I get really good at convincing myself that either people don’t care or that I’d be bothering them with my problems. Yeah, I know that’s a bit silly but that’s what it is. I got scolded by MasterDoc for not calling him when I was in crisis. I’m not used to having someone look out for me. I mean, Davey does, but I even shut him out when I’m depressed. When I was younger I always dealt with it alone, so I just fall into that pattern of withdrawal. I need to make an effort in the future to not shut everybody out.

I’m feeling better, although not 100% by any means. I haven’t taken any more days off work. I spent some time with MasterDoc over the weekend and he was very kind to me - letting me have a lot of orgasms. And despite how up and down my mood was that day, I felt really horny that night. Man was I hot for him. Rowr. That lifted my mood for a bit but then it’s been up and down since. Tonight Davey and I are going out to dinner, which is one of our favorite things to do, so hopefully that will make the evening enjoyable.

While MasterDoc and I were hanging out, he joked, if you’re going to commit suicide then you need to tell me first so we can go do all those unsafe sex things with you we wouldn’t do now. I mean, if you’re going to kill yourself anyway….

And I replied: “This is supposed to stop me from wanting to commit suicide?”

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So how about this whole scandal with Eliot Spitzer? I’m kinda fascinated with all the hubub. I kinda look the whole husband-going-to-a-prostitute thing as more proof that monogamy doesn’t work. On a local paper’s website some people were commenting (all completely scandalized of course) that he has a beautiful wife so why would he cheat? Um, let’s see, new pussy is exciting. Being able to pay for a hooker who costs that much is exciting. Human beings are sexual creatures and our desires do not all fall into neat little missionary-position-monogamy-based boxes. Maybe the hookers would do things with him that his wife wouldn’t do. The unfortunate thing is that he got caught and has been exposed. I wonder how many other politicians have done the same exact thing only they haven’t gotten caught.

Yes, what he did is illegal. And thus he shouldn’t have done it. I won’t get into how I think prostitution should be legalized (and would be far more women-friendly and supportive if it was legal and regulated), I can’t argue with the fact that the man broke what is the law in this country and will now pay consequences. He made a sucky decision and got caught. Now he’ll have to deal with the fallout.

The one thing that does bother me about the whole thing (besides the annoying moral righteousness of so many) is that he is said to have pursued unsafe sex with prostitutes. Ok, dude, I can understand wanting new and interesting pussy, but to put your health and the health of your wife at risk is just WRONG. Slap a condom on that thing. Heck, you can do what you want with your own health, but I’m assuming that he and his wife are fluid-bonded and to put her at risk is unconscionable. That’s the thing that would have pissed me off if I was his wife.

But then we know that I’m not your typical girl.