Diary of a Kinky Librarian

There are plenty of things in this society that infuriate me, but the one on my mind today is the fact that in the case of a rape or assault the benefit of the doubt is inevitably given to the perpetrator. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve encountered people not wanting to get involved, not wanting to condemn what is illegal, not to mention damaging behavior. When a woman actually has the strength to speak out she finds apathy and an unwillingness to acknowledge her experience staring back at her. I truly believe we live in a society that condones sexual violence against women. (I won’t get into how awful it is that men don’t even feel like they can admit to having been raped or assaulted, as a woman I speak from a woman’s experience.) The burden of proof is put on the woman to prove what has happened to her, and even when people have been around when it happens they STILL aren’t willing to speak up for what’s right.

It’s no mystery to me why so many women do not report rapes and assaults. When you get people just sticking their head in the sand you start to reevaluate your decision to speak up. Sure, what happened to you was wrong, but does it matter knowing that if no one else will acknowledge that it even happened? The benefit of the doubt goes to the perpetrator - so the victim gets to experience both being victimized and being ignored. And that infuriates me. It’s easy to get away with a sexual assault. Not so easy to get over having been assaulted.