Diary of a Kinky Librarian

When Babeland sent out their weekly list of toys to review, I was intrigued by two of them. The first one, Pleasure Tops, was just too funny-looking not to review. An odd, cone shape, with a thumb-shaped appendage, it was like no sex toy I had ever used before. I was happy when the toy arrived and the box said “phthalate-free,” as phthalates have become a health concern in sex toys. The toy is also waterproof. It contains two internal bullet vibes, one in the top of the cone and the other in the “thumb.” You twist the base to turn it on and vary the speed of vibration.

I tested out the new toys with Davey on Sunday. I started with the Wahl massager (see separate review) and had an orgasm from that. So, I was all primed to try out the toy I thought would pack a far smaller punch than the Wahl - the Pleasure Tops. Now the box says that you can use the cone for either vaginal or anal penetration and the “thumb” for clitroral or scrotal stimulation. I tried kneeling over the toy, as you’re supposed to sit on it, but the toy is way too small to reach your cunt from a kneeling position. I was hesitant to sit directly onto something cone-shaped, so I lay back and inserted it into my cunt. When outside your body, the toy seems to have good, strong vibration. However once it presses into/against you, the intensity goes way down. It felt nice to have the Pleasure Tops in me, spreading me wide, and the “thumb” on my clit, but there was no way I was going to orgasm from the sensation. I declared the toy a bit of a dud.

Later that day, I went to MasterDoc’s and his former roomate, Liz, was there and she was eager to try out my new toys. She took Pleasure Tops into another room and sat on a firm chair. She agreed that it wouldn’t get her off, and she thought it was lame how you’d have to swivel your body to turn the vibe up or down while you’re sitting on it. Sitting did allow her to lean forward into the “thumb” which seems to be the way the toy was intended to be used. She agreed that while it felt good, it wasn’t going to do the job.

Later, when MasterDoc and I went off into the bedroom, Liz grabbed the toy again and gave it another whirl. This time she did like I did, and lay back, inserting the toy into her vagina. She said that this time she enjoyed it much more and changed her opinion of it. All in all, we agree that it feels nice, but there’s design flaws (the controls, the cone doesn’t hit your g-spot at all). I can’t give it a ringing endorsement, but if you like feeling like you’re getting progressively spread open then this may just be the toy for you with its wide base.