Diary of a Kinky Librarian

I was approached recently by vibrator.com to do reviews for them. Being a sex toys whore of course I said yes, I’d do reviews. I was asked to give them a list of a few things I’d like, within a set price range. (Damn! No Lelo Gigi, NJoy Medium Plug, Njoy Eleven… the things I truly want to review.) It turned out a few of them were out of stock (must be popular) but one of the female toys and both of the male toys on my list were available. Thinking of MasterDoc and Davey, I decided to go with one of the male toys, the Robo Suck II. Now how can you not want to try out something called Robo Suck II? Robo Suck II is in their masturbators category.

The Robo Suck II is fairly large, and looks like some sort of futuristic masturbator. Consisting of an inner sleeve filled with nubby bits (material unknown), a larger clear plastic casing holding the sleeve, and inside the casing is a black band attached to a little box on the open side of the casing (and tucked inside the band are beads on a stretchy loop). At the top is ostensibly the motor for it all as the controller plugs into this. It takes 4 C batteries.

Now the first question was what exactly do you do with it? There were no instructions included so we were left to experiment and figure it out ourselves. One switch on the controller seemed to control the sucking/vibration, the other controlled the stroker (that black band with beads inside). MasterDoc played around with it but it was clear that he needed to be hard in order to get into it. We put it aside for the time being and I contemplated how you clean it. The inner sleeve (where one would ejaculate into) doesn’t seem to be removable. I’d be really leery of getting water into it, however as that could screw with the mechanical parts. And it remains a mystery - how is this toy supposed to be cleaned? I plan on rubbing some hand sanitizer inside the sleeve before giving it to Davey to try. (Important note: there has been no come in it as of yet.)

We tried it out later, I blew MasterDoc to get him hard and he slid his cock into the sleeve. I played with the controls - cranking the suction all the way up - which apparently didn’t suck all that much. Then cranking up the stroker which dutifully stroked his shaft - the box on the side is part of the stroker and you can adjust the height so it (the stroker) hits right where you want to on your cock. We tried both on high speed, we tried one on, then the other. We played around with it for a while. But ultimately, it was declared a dud. MasterDoc is hard to make come, so we’ll see how round two with Davey goes, but there was no way the Robo Suck was going to get him off. The stroking felt nice but wasn’t anything extraordinary. Ultimately he pointed out that my mouth would do a much better job.

Unfortunately, Davey didn’t have a much better time with it. He says that using the sleeve hurt without a condom on (mind you, he didn’t use lube, but he asked the question, how do you clean the lube out of this thing?) but he used a condom to make clean up a non-issue. He says that the stroker slides down from where you put it - it would be much better if it stayed in place to stroke you at just the right spot. Another minus is that it’s really noisy. I was in the next room when he used it and it sounded like a child’s toy train set chugga-chugging along. Ultimately, he had to use his hand to help reach orgasm. He felt silly using the Robo Suck, like he had “a motorboat attached to (his) dick.” He pointed out that with a hand or a simple masturbator sleeve (loads of sleeves at vibrator.com) you can close your eyes and pretend that you’re with a woman, there’s no pretending with this thing. For him too, the suction was quite minimal even at the highest setting. He said it felt ok, but not great. Unfortunately, the Robo Suck II was a complete bust.