Diary of a Kinky Librarian

I have dreams of someday owning a remote controlled sex toy that rocks my world. Ideally, this toy would be a clitoral vibe and somehow be held in place even when I move. I asked Sextoy.com for the remote control fantasy panty hoping this might be the toy of my dreams. It’s from their vibrator section. Unfortunately, it’s not what I was hoping for.

The bumpy, jelly, insertable part of the panty.

The vibrating part of the panty is a thick, stubby insertable, not clitoral vibe, not unlike another remote controlled toy I reviewed earlier. It seems to be made of a jelly material, which would likely contain phthalates, plastic softeners which have been shown to cause cancer and other health concerns. This is strike out number one. (One option if you want to try this is to put a condom over the jelly part.) A hard, egg shaped vibe goes into the insertable jelly part - and the next problem was that no matter how much I pushed and prodded the vibe doesn’t go completely into the jelly sleeve. This left about a half inch of hard plastic vibe hanging out - and this will be hanging between your legs as you attempt to sit or walk. You can imagine the problem - sitting is pretty much impossible and walking is uncomfortable at best. I was going to wear this out to a restaurant with MasterDoc but it was so dreadfully uncomfortable the idea was scrapped before I got out the door. The vibe had only one setting - on/off. The remote control works just fine but like I said, the idea of wearing this thing for any period of time was just unbearable.

The vibrator sticking out at the bottom of the panty.

While it’s delightful that this comes in queen size for us plus size women, this toy really was just a dud. Instead of being stimulating, the insertable vibe was hard and unyielding. And my quest for a good remote-controlled toy goes on….