Category Archive for ‘sex work awareness’ at Diary of a Kinky Librarian

Last night I went out to In The Flesh again, and met up with Diva and Tess. I hadn’t seen Michelle in a while so I invited her along as well. We met for dumplings (cheapest dinner I have ever gotten in NYC) and drinks beforehand. At dinner I also got to meet another model for the forthcoming NYC Sex Blogger Calendar. Diva was all abuzz with planning the calendar release party on November 6th. I can’t wait. Should be even more fun this year since I know a couple of people in it better.

At In The Flesh, I again experienced what a small world it is. (At least in the realm of sex-positive people.) I’ve mentioned my friend S. here a few times, she also dates MasterDoc, and I’ve met her daughters a couple of times. Well her eldest daughter was there last night and she didn’t remember me so I tentatively said hello and reminded her that we met. No sooner had that happened when the woman she was with said, “I think I know you too. We went on a couple of dates a while ago.” Yup, indeed this woman was a librarian I had a couple of dates with a while back. Small world indeed. (I won’t even go into how I made the piss-poor choice of going on the second date with this woman despite being sick at the time. Yeah, enthusiasm only counts when you’re not infectious. Needless to say that was our last date.)

The readings were sexy and sometimes funny. It was LGBT night so it was a pretty appropriate night for me to bring along a woman I’m dating (Michelle). Yet again I was lame, and I only gave her a quick kiss as we said goodbye on the subway later on. I get particularly awkward with kissing women in public. I need to get over that.

There were many giveaways at the readings, and I won a book of gay erotica. It’s a pity that I’m not much for gay erotica or porn (I prefer lesbian or kink). I do enjoy watching two men together, in person, but not so much in porn. It’s strange, I know. After the party, while I used the restroom, a guy came looking for me - i.e., the winner of the gay porn book - and Michelle told him I was in the restroom. So after I came out, washed my hands, and rounded the corner, I ran into this guy. He was a really sweet gay man who was interested in that book I had won because it was about surfer boys, and his boyfriend is a surfer. He asked if I’d trade it for something. “Sure,” I said, “You have something to trade?” Sure enough, this guy had a big bag filled with sex toys and whatnot, including a couple of vibrators from Babeland still in the packaging. I gladly traded him the book for an Orchid G in aqua. (You know you’re too immersed in the world of sex toys when you spot a vibrator and immediately know the name of it!) I probably would have just given him the book even if he didn’t have anything I was interested in trading for. Hey, I’m a librarian, I like putting people together with books that are right for them.

My purse wasn’t that big last night, so I ended up taking my new vibrator on the subway with me - unwrapped (well still in packaging, but it was a clear bag). I kinda hid it against my umbrella, but I also found it really funny that I was riding the subway with an exposed vibrator. Somehow that fits my life. I got home to MasterDoc with some funny stories to share. All in all, it was a good night.

I wish someone would take away my computer when I’m premenstrual/depressed. I got all sorts of cranky this morning - and when it comes down to it it was hormonal. Do you ever find yourself acting awful, being contrary for the sake of being contrary, and somehow you can’t stop yourself doing it even as you look on in horror? This morning, despite being glad that the NYC sex bloggers are doing another calendar to promote Sex Work Awareness (something I fully get behind) I got picky and decided to throw a hissy because I don’t see any fat chicks in the calendar. Was this fair? No. It turns out the women who are in the calendar asked to be and will gladly be showing their faces in support of Sex Work Awareness - fat girls were more than welcome to join their ranks. It got me thinking, would I show my face? I don’t have a problem showing my fat body, but I worry that my job could be in jeopardy for doing something like posing for a calendar that supports sex workers. My union would probably support my right to do what I want in my private time but would that be enough? How secure is my civil service position? It’s something that I’d like to do, but of course worry about the repercussions.

A few years back a librarian in Washington was fired for being a dominatrix in her spare time (and posting for clients on the internet). She wasn’t doing anything illegal but her sexuality was suddenly made conversation material in her town and she was fired. (Not to mention shamed by some of her community. Not to mention this was reported nationwide in librarian publications.) Would doing a cheesecake photo for a Sex Work Awareness fundraiser have the same effect? If I were to participate, my face would be associated with my blog pseudonym, and it would be linked to this blog, where I’ve talked about things like doing sex work myself (i.e., the shows MasterDoc and I sometimes do) - nothing illegal, I don’t put illegal things on my blog, but enough that people could freak out and decide to take away my job like that librarian in Washington. My rebellious side wants to go do it, because after all I have the right to do it - but the last thing I need to do is lose my job - and so I haven’t said I’d like to pose. (With the recession my library is suffering deep budget cuts like so many across the country. I don’t need to serve them my head on the chopping block.) I wish we lived in a place and time where doing something like backing sex work awareness wouldn’t possibly lead to losing your job. Has such a time and place ever existed? We like to think we’re so free, but really we’re not. If we’re truly free then people should be able to make a living doing sex work if they so choose. But the stigma is obvious when you think about how bad the stigma can be for simply supporting sex workers and their rights. (I understand that it’s possible for me to be outed as the writer of this blog, but I do my best to maintain plausible deniability when I write here. It’s a risk I take.)

So I won’t step forward to be a model (though I really wish I could, I want to be a part of this), but I will talk about Sex Work Awareness here and promote what they do. Sex workers are human beings - a concept we need to promote to the public at large. Here’s a wonderful PSA that came out of their first session of their Speak Up media training workshop.