Diary of a Kinky Librarian

On Friday, MasterDoc and I talked extensively about my problem with him reading email. While we don’t agree 100%, I do feel better now that we’ve spoken and he has fully explained his reasons. It’s been decided that he’ll have the passwords to my collarme and fetlife profiles and will get to see the particular exchange he wanted to see earlier this week. I’m allowed to note that he has access on those profiles and have already done so.

As I thought about the situation and how I reacted earlier this week, I realized that while I want to give up control, I’m also incredibly fearful of giving up control. So every now and then I have these little bouts of panic where I act up and get defiant. Giving up control is scary. It doesn’t matter how trustworthy the person is (and MasterDoc is trustworthy) it’s still scary to me. But on the other hand I also think that if I was able to do it it might be very freeing for me after I get over the fear.

On Friday night we went to a private pool party. The heated pool was quite warm, like bathwater early in the evening and like a hot tub later that night. I don’t think I’ve ever gone swimming naked before and it’s interesting how much tits float.  We took some time to settle in and I dipped in the pool before MasterDoc. He was busy setting up the sybian, which we brought along for the pleasure of the female guests. He then got roped into taking pictures, so I found myself in the pool, with an Englishman reaching out for me to join him and his lady (and as you may well know I have a fetish for English accents) but I had to decline, saying that I needed my Dom’s permission first. It was a big bummer but I got out and went seeking permission. MasterDoc was too busy so I just ended up getting back in the pool to relax in the warm water. More time went by and eventually MasterDoc got away and got into the pool with me. I whined a little about how I could be having fun but when he’s distracted I can’t get permission to have any fun. After some talking, he told me that I was allowed to find the Englishman and fuck him, but if anyone else tried to join in I had to say that I had to get my Dom’s permission first.  So I went off to find the Englishman.

I found him upstairs, watching a couple fooling around. I walked up behind him and started stroking his ass gently. “You got permission?” he asked and I said yes. We went into another bedroom and he lay down on the bed. I bent over and started sucking his cock to get it hard (and like most Englishmen he was uncircumcised). Just then, the couple in the next room started making noise again and he wanted to go watch. So we went in, and it turns out they were just finishing up, so he went down stairs and ran into his lady and went off with her. Phooey! So I didn’t get any English cock that night. I wonder how things would have been different if I could have joined in when he first reached out for me. It’s hard to have to sorta reject someone when you really don’t want to reject them, and then to go back later and expect them to be all up for it when you’ve gotten permission to act. Going to a party as a sub is very, very different than when I went as a single woman. I have many limits as a sub that I didn’t have when I was solo.

I got whiny again and MasterDoc decided to take me upstairs and beat my ass. He used his hands, he used the rough pedicure thingy that works well as a stingy paddle. He got me sore and red, then got out the floggers. By this time people were popping in to see what was going on. He flogged me with the stingy little flogger, then with the thuddy big flogger. He let someone else hit my ass but he didn’t realize that she was going to use an implement rather than her hand. I think someone else got to spank me a bit as well, someone who kept massaging my ass between each smack gave me a little bit of a spanking. Since I wasn’t told to lift my head up (I was on my knees on the bed, ass in the air) I couldn’t see who did it and I have no idea to this day. The spanking went on for a bit, with MasterDoc flogging me some more. One woman apparently watched a bit, not sure she was into it, but then when her guy tried to get her away to play she wanted to watch me get beaten just a little more.

We took a break and the crowd dispersed. We cuddled a bit and I got a little scolded for being whiny. I feel shy in new social situations and a way I get comfortable is to dive in and begin fucking. I suppose I fuck first, become friendly later. To have to be social in the normal way was really difficult for me and I ended up feeling really out of place and uncomfortable. Other people were fooling around, fucking, riding the sybian and I was just left on my own, shy and bored. At any rate, we hugged on the bed and that helped me feel better. MasterDoc wasn’t any more thrilled than I was that he had been pressed into taking photos.

We went downstairs, watched more sybian riding going on and hung out. We got to talking with a couple, the woman had just been on the sybian. She was outrageously curvy, looking a lot like the Venus of WIllendorf. Narrow waist, big voluptuous hips and big tits. Many people would call her fat, but I think she was curvy in just the right places. We talked for a while with the couple, and MasterDoc offered that the guy could fuck me. So he came over to the sofa while MasterDoc went and sat in the chair with his lady. We start out stroking each other’s genitals, nibbling on necks, but before long he gets on his knees in front of me and starts eating me out. Whoo, and he’s good at it. I get really worked up and he starts fingering me as well. I writhe, moan and get really horny. I open my eyes at one point to look at MasterDoc and ask if I have permission to come. He said that permission was implied. And so I focused on the tongue and lips on my clit and the fingers working in and out of me and I started to come, screaming as usual. I writhed and moaned and gasped. I came really hard, squirted all over the couch, and kept on coming as he kept up the stimulation. I was so tensed from the orgasms that my shoulders began to hurt. I asked for a break and while he backed off somewhat, he kept licking my clit. I came again and again asked for a break. This time he let me relax. We sat close together on the sofa and I thanked him. We chatted with MasterDoc and this guy’s lady. I was much happier than I had been earlier, now that I had a screaming orgasm.

In a little while we ended up in the pool again, which by this time had steam rising off the water. It was actually a little bit too warm but we soaked with others for a while. This cute, curvy woman we had been talking to came over and ultimately she ended up sitting on the edge of the pool with her legs on either side of MasterDoc’s head. She played with his hair (he was facing out, not towards her crotch) and I reached out and stroked his cock. I reached up and played with her nipples, asking her how she liked it - rough or gentle. She said rough so I began twisting and pulling and she closed her eyes and moaned a little. The three of us just hung out, touching and petting. Eventually MasterDoc got out from between her legs and I got in between to lick her clit. I sucked and licked and flicked at her clit as she moaned and panted. She told me I was good at that and from the angle I was in I was able to look up and watch her face while I ate her out. She had me stop after a while and she told me that I’m very good at that and that it made her all breathless. It feels really good to be told that.

The pool was too hot so we got out and ended up on the sofa again. After some more talking, MasterDoc decided to put me on the sybian. I set it up and got on. He controlled the vibration and I ground my clit into the machine. He got me really hot and when I asked to be allowed to come he made me ask again, louder and louder until people could hear me. He teased me for a bit and I begged for orgasm. Finally he let me and I screamed, moaned, my vagina clenching the dildo of the sybian. I had a wonderful orgasm. Again, I was a happy girl. Soon I ended up on my knees in front of MasterDoc, sucking his cock while he relaxed in a chair. I got him hard and he decided to fuck me. I kneeled on the chair, facing the back and he fucked me from behind. Oh it felt so good. While the sybian often numbs me this time I could feel his cock thrust in and out of me quite well. I asked for permission to come, and he let me after a few moments. I tried initially to not let my muscles push his cock out, but then realized he hadn’t told me I had to do that, so I just came. Of course my muscles pushed him out but he took over with his fingers and had me screaming and gasping as I leaned over the chair and came.

There was one more lady who needed a ride on the sybian, a lady who had played with us before at MasterDoc’s once. He put her on and took the controls (please note that every lady who used the sybian had to wash it after use). He got her worked up, then waved me over to start spanking her ass. I slapped and spanked as she moaned and he worked the controls. It was really hot to watch, even though I couldn’t see her face. MasterDoc focuses intently on the lady he’s working over and it was really fun to watch him at work. He knows just when to play with a nipple, just when to reach around and slap the ass. He strokes and pets and works the woman into a frenzy.

After she came, it turned out there was yet another woman who hadn’t gotten to ride and of course MasterDoc was happy to oblige. I had fun watching again, this time from a different angle where I could see the lady’s face. Her husband would help her stroke her clit (we’ve misplaced the attachment that helps raise the nubbly part of the pad to clit height) or stroke her ass. MasterDoc would crank the dial up to the highest setting and still she wanted more. He worked her over, made her come again and again.

It was really late, and after the last lady we started to pack up. I got a warm goodbye from the lady who I had licked earlier and I hope we get to play with her again. I loves me those curvy women. Rowr. We gave a ride to the subway to the couple who used the sybian last and they were really nice to chat with on the way. It was dawn by this time and we were both getting sleepy. We went through a drive through for breakfast and ate on the way home. It was light out by the time we got into bed, around 8 a.m. or so. I slept the day away and didn’t get up until 4-ish. We hung out, had a late lunch (or was it early dinner?) and MasterDoc got some cleaning out of me as well as a back massage. It grew late and I knew that Davey was expecting me home so I headed out around 8:30. I was so tired from messing up my sleep schedule that I went to bed early (10:30) and slept the night through. I woke up early today feeling refreshed.