Diary of a Kinky Librarian

This is a long post, but I promise that hot stuff happens.

I had ups and downs this weekend. I’m premenstrual so I’m prone to a bit of depression. On Friday I had the thought that I must be really fucked up and dysfunctional to choose to be the submissive in a relationship. I mean, I choose to in a position where I always feel lesser. I don’t know, I haven’t resolved my thoughts about this but it leaves me wondering about myself. None of us want to think of ourselves as dysfunctional, but I do have a history of dysfunction. Is this a manifestation of dysfunction? Or am I a liberated woman, enjoying her alternative sexuality?

So that caused any play between me and MasterDoc to be cut short on Friday as I wasn’t in the right headspace. The next day I felt a little better, and we fooled around - he giving me a lot of attention including oral sex. It’s amazing what orgasms can do for my mood. I cheered up considerably. He said that next time I’m in a funk he’ll probably press on with the beating and orgasms and I’ll feel better in five minutes. *grin*  Thing is, he’s probably right.

Thankfully I cheered up, because our Saturday night plans were to go to a gangbang party with S.  Was I finally going to get the gangbang that MasterDoc continually promised? Rowr. I was hopeful. The main focus was getting S. gangbanged so I knew that I’d spend some time just hanging out, but that if I was patient I would likely get my own turn. Poor S. was really nervous, and I was feeling more than a little socially awkward as well. I find the most difficult part of going to a party like this is the social aspect - I have no trouble getting naked and fooling around. (Again, I wonder just how dysfunctional that is.) We kept close to MasterDoc as would keep an eye on our safety. We arrived at the hotel suite just as the rules were being reviewed.

Now most of them were good rules - condoms always, no double dipping (i.e., change condoms between women), wash your hands after playing with one woman before going to another, clean up your condoms and throw them in the trash - but there was one I, as a sexually educated woman, had a BIG problem with. The hostess said that if a condom slips off while you’re pulling out, you need to “go fishing.” Now, certainly, if a condom slips off you don’t leave it inside the woman. But hell, it wouldn’t happen if you just held onto the base of the condom as you pulled out. Simple. Something I would have thought everyone would know. But alas, this is not the case. I’m used to mostly playing with people who are pretty knowledgeable about safer sex, so this really threw me off. I talked to the hostess and pointed out (vehemently) that a condom slipping off isn’t safer sex for the woman. A condom left inside a woman can leak. The sex act is probably still pretty safe for the man but it’s definitely not for the woman. The hostess just shrugged it off but damn, I wanted to pound into her head that if she’s hosting parties like this she sure as hell should know something so basic! It made me a little nervous about playing but I figured that MasterDoc would keep an eye on things and not everyone there was necessarily as stupid as the hostess.

So there were several women and a bunch more men. Pretty quickly there were women on the beds being fucked. MasterDoc took his time getting us started. He had me get naked and S. and I took turns sucking his cock. I had my collar on by this time and it’s interesting explaining to non D/s people what the collar means. “You ask him for permission to play with me.” Takes a little bit of getting used to for people who aren’t up on the protocols of BDSM. I sat on a bed while MasterDoc and a friend of S.’s (Fuzzy he’s called, for reasons which are obvious when he takes off his clothes) got S. started. She sucked on Fuzzy’s cock and MasterDoc slid off her panties, giving her a bit of a spank as well. He got her laying over the bed so that he could spank and finger her a bit. He lined up someone to fuck her. She came a bunch of times and it’s fun watching her come because she comes so hard. I was content to sit back and watch, although I had to practically beat off the men with a stick.

Now one thing I want to point out here, because porn leads us to think that real life is something it’s not - everyone there was pretty damn average. There were a few good looking guys, but the majority were average people. The women were mostly chubby or fat, and even the thinner ones had pot bellies. No one was perfect, no one looked like a model or a porn star. Real life happens with a variety of people. The ages of the participants ran the gamut as well. So for anyone who’s eager to go to a party like this, but you’re worried that you’ll be the fattest one there (or the oldest one there) - don’t. I felt positively svelte next to some of the women there. And yet every woman was in great demand. Being sexy doesn’t necessarily have to do with being thin or beautiful. (I think being a slut counts for much more.)

So I got to see S. get fucked, by a guy I don’t think she ever saw. I know from experience that’s one of those things you think, “Gee, I should be upset this guy was a total stranger I will never know.” But then you think, “Man, that’s hot!” S. had a ton of orgasms before MasterDoc and Fuzzy would give her a break. MasterDoc then turned to me and decided to get me started. Rowr. He fingered me, and soon I was begging for permission to orgasm and after just holding off a little, he let me. We drew a small crowd sometime during all this. He gave permission to a couple of guys to touch me and I felt hands stroking my body. I cuddled up to MasterDoc and let these men touch me. It mostly felt good although one unknowledgeable guy poked at my asshole without lube. Luckily he didn’t try to actually finger it. MasterDoc let some of the guys play with my pussy and alas, they didn’t quite know what they were doing. Luckily MasterDoc intervened and gave me another orgasm. He lined up a guy to fuck me, but unfortunately by the time a condom was found he had lost his erection. I wouldn’t get fucked until a bit later.

We all took a break. MasterDoc had asked S. a few times where she was and if she was okay while he fooled around with me. He takes his job of looking out for us seriously. We all went into the sitting room (it was a suite with two bedrooms on either side of a sitting room with a small kitchenette) and had a little wine and cheese and crackers. I looked around for a seat and eventually one was found for me. MasterDoc ended up on the other side of the room when another chair opened up. I spoke with a nice African-American guy and while I don’t tend to go for black guys, the key thing for me when looking for someone to play with is that they are nice and I feel safe with them - he met those two criteria. When MasterDoc beckoned me over, I made a point of mentioning my interest to him. Soon the sofa cleared off and S. took a seat, the black guy joined us, very friendly. After talking for a while, MasterDoc wondered if I could be fucked bent over the chair and I took the position. He had the nice black guy stand behind me to see if it could work. I pointed out that my pelvis was tilted downward. So MasterDoc had S. go check out the bedrooms to see if there was a spare bed. There was and we all hastily went into the bedroom to seize it.

The nice guy followed us, and there was already a crowd assembled in the bedroom. (There were two beds in this room, and something was going on in the next bed.) MasterDoc had me get out the magic wand and he used it on S. He got her worked up, but she was a little irritated from using Nair earlier so she did not come. She seemed pretty happy nonetheless. After her turn, he had me get on the bed. The nice guy got invited to go down on me, which felt pretty damn good. After a bit, he asked if he could use fingers too (see, nice guy asks before doing!) and he did. Rowr. He was told he could fuck me and so he did. I begged to be allowed to come and MasterDoc was very generous. I made such a racket I’m surprised they didn’t ask me to quiet down.  After he fucked me, MasterDoc gave S. a turn, and the same nice guy fucked her as well. This time, the hostess did come in to ask us to quiet down. S. is good about being quiet, much better than I am.

After she squirted a river (thankfully she brings pads along) I got my turn again. This time the guy fucked me from behind. I came hard again and my muscles pushed him out. He commented on how tight I get when I come and MasterDoc joked about the “auto eject” feature. I moaned into the bed, I felt so lucky having so many orgasms. How could a girl not be happy having that many orgasms? He fucked me for a while, fingered me a bit and then MasterDoc decided to fuck me as well. I asked if I could get on my back and he had me do so. He fucked me for a while, I came some more and my depressed mood of the night before was completely forgotten.

When it was time to go we had to peel S. away from our new friend, she was making out with him and stroking his cock. We packed up and I thanked our new friend for a good time. My instincts about him were right.

We were all starving so we went to a diner afterwards, and sleepily had a meal. That night, I slept pretty soundly until MasterDoc got me up - his other girlfriend was coming over with a friends’ daughter so we had to de-sexify the apartment before they got there. Toys sitting in the living room, porn, the sybian all had to be hidden in MasterDoc’s bedroom. And so ended my weekend.