Archive for the 'feminism' Category

Sarah Palin - the Anti-Feminist

Published
by
Nadia
on September 11, 2008
in feminism and politics
. 0 Comments

Of course, this is a sex blog and not a political platform. But as someone who is a staunch feminist, in favor of accurate and complete sex education in the schools, pro-birth control being easily accessible, pro-choice, I must in good conscience speak out about Sarah Palin. My emotions run high on this subject as she has clearly been chosen because she’s female, while also being the most anti-female person they could have possibly picked. The idea of her in the White House scares the shit out of me.

Gloria Steinem wrote a good piece in the LA Times.

And the blog Sexy Whispers has posted the following:

Women Against Sarah Palin

Friends, compatriots, fellow-lamenters,

We are writing to you because of the fury and dread we have felt since the announcement of Sarah Palin as the Vice-Presidential candidate for the Republican Party. We believe that this terrible decision has surpassed mere partisanship and that it is a dangerous farce on the part of a pandering and rudderless Presidential candidate that has a real possibility of becoming fact.

Perhaps like us, as American women, you share the fear of what Ms. Palin and her professed beliefs and proven record could lead to for ourselves and for our present or future daughters. To date, she is against sex education, birth control, the pro-choice platform, environmental protection, alternative energy development, freedom of speech (as mayor she wanted to ban books and attempted to fire the librarian who stood against her), gun control, the separation of church and state, and polar bears. To say nothing of her complete lack of real preparation to become the second-most-powerful person on the planet.

We want to clarify that we are not against Sarah Palin as a woman, a mother, or, for that matter, a parent of a pregnant teenager, but solely as a rash, incompetent, and all together devastating choice for Vice President. Ms. Palin’s political views are in every way a slap in the face to the accomplishments that our mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers so fiercely fought for, and that we’ve so demonstrably benefited from.

First and foremost, Ms. Palin does not represent us. She does not demonstrate or uphold our interests as American women. It is presumed that the inclusion of a woman on the Republican ticket could win over women voters. We want to disagree, publicly. Therefore, we invite you to reply to [email protected] with a short, succinct message about why you, as a woman living in this country, do not support this candidateas second-in-command for our nation.

Please include your name (last initial is fine), age, and place of residence.

We will post your responses on a blog called ‘Women Against Sarah Palin.’ Please send us your reply at your earliest convenience as the greater the volume of responses we receive, the stronger our message will be.

Thank you for your time and action.

VIVA!

Feminism and Submission

Published
by
Nadia
on April 8, 2008
in bdsm and feminism
. 5 Comments

Feminism and submission. I’ve talked about these two things before and I’m sure combined it’s a topic I’ll visit time and time again. I struggle with it, but not in the way that I find the two mutually exclusive. I don’t and I am comfortable with the fact that I’m a submissive feminist. However, I do wonder about how to explain this to the world. While I feel comfortable with both aspects of my personality, I don’t know how to explain why I’m comfortable.

As a feminist, I believe that women are equal to men. I believe that women should have the right to embrace their sexuality in whatever form it comes. But what happens when your sexuality isn’t politically correct? How can I say that women are equal to men when I choose to submit to a man? I think the answer lies in the fact that I’ve made choices. I’ve freely made decisions that work for me. I get totally hot submitting. I’m wired in such a way that kink turns me on. Ultimately, I don’t feel that my submission is about gender inequality - particularly since as a bisexual woman I’d gladly submit to a woman instead of a man if that’s who I ended up being with. I don’t feel that men are superior to me. I don’t submit due to any notion of their being superior. I submit because it gets me off. I submit because I feel comfortable and free being a submissive.

And as a feminist, isn’t it important that I stay true to my sexual expression? Being a Domme doesn’t turn me on. Being equal doesn’t turn me on (not like being submissive does). Being told what to do gets me hot. Giving up control is a choice I make. I have the luxury of making this a choice in my life because I live in a country where women are essentially free. (Oh sexism still runs rampant and affects women very deeply. I can see that clearly. I’ve seen it in my own life in various forms.) I continue to be a feminist and fight for the right of women to choose not to be submissive because the choice should be there, but why can’t I choose to be submissive? This post was inspired by a call for submissions for the Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy over at Labyrinth Walk. There, Meghan Rose asks, “Do we have a responsibility to all women through our sexual choices, or only to ourselves?” and therein lies my quandary. As a feminist, do I have responsibility to always exercise autonomy over my sexuality? It sounds contradictory, but in my submission I AM exercising my autonomy. Consensual power exchange makes me happy. I see the strength in submission. Subjugating your wants to serve people you care about is ultimately a part of life for most people, regardless of their sexual orientation. To be a parent you have to submit to the needs of your children. There’s strength in forgetting your wants and serving others - being selfish is far easier. I am a strong, intelligent, independent woman and choosing to submit requires the use of my strength and intelligence. I’m exercising my independence by choosing to submit in certain areas of my life.

Do I worry that being sub would be a bad example for young women? Considering the fact that I don’t exhibit signs of being a sub in public other than at play parties I don’t see that to be an issue. I’m not a 24/7 submissive, but some of the traits I exhibit while being submissive - being caring, thoughtful, of service and somewhat selfless (I say somewhat because being submissive is ultimately a selfish act for me as I get off on it.) are all traits I’d like to see instilled in any young person - male or female. Being a sub doesn’t mean you’re a doormat. Being Dom doesn’t mean being a selfish prick. A Dom and sub can be examples of how to be a decent person even within their roles. A good Dom/me takes care of their submissive and watches out for their well being, providing support and advice when needed. A good sub watches out for their Dom in subtle ways, making sure to do things just as the Dom likes and anticipating their needs. As in any relationship, both play their part to make the relationship mutually satisfying to both involved. Even within the equal relationship I have with Davey, I submit in little ways because I care about him. I make sure to do my half of the chores. I compromise to strengthen the relationship and make him happy (thereby making me happy in the process). We all make sacrifices for the people we care about, be they in a romantic/sexual relationship or a family/friendship one.

Being a sub doesn’t mean I’m a lesser human being. It just means I get off on pretending I’m lesser and giving over control to another person. I can still be a feminist and get horny being a sub.

Feminism is Sexy

Published
by
Nadia
on October 18, 2007
in feminism and sexy thoughts
. 0 Comments

Something I’ve long suspected: Feminists Have More Fun.

Feminism boosts sexual satisfaction for both men and women, a new study suggests.

Busting stereotypes that peg feminists as ugly lesbians, a new study shows that having a feminist partner is linked with healthier, more romantic heterosexual relationships.

Well of course! When a woman is strong, comfortable with her body and her worth as a woman, good sex is bound to follow. Hooray for the sexy feminists!

More Random Musings

Published
by
Nadia
on August 29, 2007
in bdsm, feminism, musings and sexuality
. 0 Comments

I think sexual energy and creative energy are related. Since getting my mojo back I feel like blogging far more and I’ve started noticing the lack of creativity in many of my posts. They read like a play by play of what I got up to, but there’s no color, no feeling to it. Maybe I’ll change this as time goes on.

I find myself in an introspective mood tonight. I’m quick to blame it on being tired, I didn’t sleep well last night. But then I was sorta in this mood by the time I went to bed last night.

I find myself musing about feminism and bdsm – more specifically how it’s possible to be a feminist and a submissive at the same time. The two seem to be mutually exclusive. I’m quick to point out that outside the bedroom I’m not very submissive at all, quite stubborn and opinionated actually. So perhaps that’s where the division lies – I get hot and bothered by submitting sexually but in my daily life I’m not a submissive woman. Now of course, all this sounds like me grasping at straws to find the feminism in my behavior. “Well now, I might submit in the bedroom but otherwise I’m all feminist! No, really I am!!” I start arguing that being able to express your sexuality however it comes is a feminist act – not letting my sexual desires be dictated by conservative, heteronormative, vanilla society. If I get off on submitting then by all means I should get off that way. But I suppose sometimes I realize that you can’t say that my act of submitting is feminist in and of itself. But I am a feminist who submits sexually. I suppose that’s the distinction. I’d be curious to hear others’ views on this subject.

One way to look at it is that as a strong feminist the idea of submitting to a man’s (or a woman’s) whim is kinky by definition. I don’t see it as the normal order of affairs. I don’t see it has how I “should” be in my day-to-day life. But as a “liberated” woman I choose to play that way. And really it all comes down to choice.

I don’t really even know why I’m arguing this point, as I don’t see the two as having to be mutually exclusive. Just like I don’t see the nerdy, intellectual side of my personality to be at odds with the sexual, slutty part. V. has been asking me how the two sides of my personality get along, and I answer “quite well” as I don’t see them as distinct personalities, but parts of the whole of who I am. Why can’t you be nerdy and someone who works well with kids AND be someone who’s totally into her sexuality and free about it?

This entry is probably just one long, incomprehensible ramble, but it’s what’s going through my head. That and economic theory as MasterDoc had me reading up on why socialist economics don’t work. (He’s libertarian and quite keen to get this anarcho-socialistic person over to his way of thinking. And I have to admit that my political thinking has no basis in economic theory as I have little to no knowledge about it. I can see the flaws in socialism and anarchy, but then I’m cynical enough to think that every political system has glaring flaws. Still, I really enjoy learning about economics from him as I’d rather be knowledgeable in my political views than completely ignorant. I guess it’s time I learned about economics even though the idea of it bores me to tears. Anyway, the nerdy side of my personality really appreciates being with a man who stimulates me intellectually and who seems to respect my intelligence. All my favorite men get me thinking. Heck, all my favorite people get me thinking, one of the things I like about V. so much is that she’s very intelligent.)

Where Have All the Feminists Gone?

Published
by
Nadia
on April 14, 2007
in feminism and youth
. 0 Comments

I totally had my feminist sensibilities offended today. One young lady who uses my library stated quite firmly that she doesn’t want to go to college because he’s going to be a house-mom and have her husband support her. Ay yi yi. She seems to think that her step-mother, who is a stay at home mom, doesn’t do anything all day. I tried to explain to her that running a household is work (and it’s often unsatisfying work at that) and that she’d be at her husband’s mercy for everything. Gah. The incredible lack of independence amazes me. This girl’s highest aspiration is to be a breeder who stays at home doing nothing. She’s a smart girl so this really leaves me dismayed.

What happened to the feminist movement’s gains? Why don’t young women today have a sense of how important independence is? We still have a long way to go if smart young women just want to be breeder layabouts. I can’t imagine this girl feeling happy or fulfilled when she eventually gets her wish. Of course this also relies on her finding someone to marry her. There’s plenty of men today who expect that their wives will contribute to family income. Indeed, in this part of the country it’s often vital for survival. I can only imagine the kind of neanderthal this girl will marry. It depresses me. What happens if her husband divorces her? She’ll be uneducated, inexperienced and have kids to take care of. This just looks like a huge recipe for disaster.

It’s been less than a hundred years since women gained the right to vote in this country. My grandmother was born into a world where women didn’t have suffrage. Women could only be nurses, school teachers or work in factories when she was growing up (which is why she opted to become a nurse). I’m not sure when this changed, but for a good long time women had no rights to any of their property - their children included. In the 1800’s a woman leaving an abusive relationship only had the right to the clothes on her back. Women were put into terribly restrictive and sometimes damaging situations. We must not forget this! Women still don’t have the same upward mobility that men do. An indication of this is how professions that are predominantly and historically held by women (like librarianship) are still sorely underpaid. (Teachers and nurses have unionized and fought and made gains. Librarians are behind the times. I make far less with my master’s in library science than I did with just a bachelor’s degree working in a corporation.) Caregiver professions, so often held by women, are generally under appreciated and underpaid. “Women’s work” is still looked down upon. Sexism is still rampant, it’s just less overt than it used to be. Homophobia is rooted partially in sexism.

I get so upset when I hear the next generation willing to give up all the gains so many women fought so hard and long to get.