Category Archive for ‘non-monogamy’ at Diary of a Kinky Librarian

I’m really tired. But it’s a good tired. I’m tired because I had sex with both Davey and N. today. My afternoon was basically spent having sex and then having sex again. I feel like my old self in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. I feel like I could have sex over and over forever if only my body wouldn’t get so damn tired. I feel like my (slutty) self.

I didn’t have sex with them at the same time, I had a date with N. and went to his place…. we alternated hanging out on the porch chatting with going to the bedroom and fucking. There wasn’t any air conditioning but thankfully today wasn’t quite as hot as they had predicted. Still, the sex was sweaty. And for some reason getting all sweaty during sex isn’t nearly as distasteful as getting sweaty during exercise, or walking around on a hot day. It’s actually kinda sexy.

For a 55-year-old man he has quite the stamina. He kept going (during the second round) long past when men half his age would keep going. I had a lot of orgasms. *grin* I’m so glad I finally met him and didn’t let his age get in the way. (I kept him at arm’s length for a year.) We have a lot of fun in bed together.

After the second round we went to shower (just like after the first round) and as I moved past him to get to the water in the shower he slid one hand between my ass cheeks and started fingering my asshole and then reached around with the other hand and stroked my clit and then fingered me. Wowza. I had quite an orgasm really quickly, trying to clutch the shower wall and hold myself up.

I left his place feeling really worn out, my legs were tired from being spread for so long. But even so, I still felt kinda horny. Ah yes, I was feeling like my old self.

I was hungry when I got home, so Davey and I had dinner and then relaxed in the living room. I kept feeling persistently horny, and hey, I like to make sure that Davey is taken care of - an important part of being poly is making sure things are okay with your primary relationship. Despite feeling so tired I sent Davey sexy IMs from the other end of the couch. Soon, we were in the bedroom and I was orgasming again. And again. And we had sex and I had some more orgasms. I’m a very satisfied and happy girl. And I’m feeling so comfortable in my sexuality again - it’s such a liberating feeling. I’m ready to take on the world sexually. Hee hee. I see my couple, D. & L., on Friday and I asked N. if he’d help me out with my double penetration fantasy sometime and he said yes. (There’s few things that I really want to try that I haven’t tried, double penetration is one of them. I’ve had a toy and a penis but not two penises. Obviously Davey is all to happy to help me with this fantasy.)

(The title of this post came from a conversation with N. today where he told me about how he told another lover of his that she should get a vanity plate with Tulsa on it, so that when people saw it in their rearview mirrors it would read …… Perfect for me as well! But I’m not into vanity plates.)

It’s all too easy for me to forget that most of the world doesn’t think like I do about relationships. Last night I saw a friend I haven’t seen in years (she lives across the country) and while on the outside she’s gothy and unconventional, her idea of relationships is pretty conventional. She has this very nice boyfriend who she’s planning on moving out to the east coast for. I asked her when she’s planning on moving, since I’m the one established friend she has in the area, and she furtively pointed to her ring finger to denote that she’s moving once her boyfriend has gotten her an engagement ring. The idea of waiting to be with someone, of measuring their commitment by a ring is such a foreign idea to me. It’s not that I’m casual with my relationships, not at all, after all, Davey is the first boyfriend I seriously considered living with (and thereby have lived with). But marriage is so far out of my realm of thinking that it strikes me as odd when someone I know wants to get married. Personally, I see it as an outdated institution that’s hardly necessary for happiness and commitment.

Of course, I’m happy that my friend has met someone she wants to be with, and he seems like a very nice (and musically/creatively talented) guy and I’m all for them being together and being happy. I just don’t get the marriage thing. I certainly won’t hold it against her if she marries - that would be ridiculous. Nor would I ever try to talk her round to my way of thinking. It’s just a behavior that makes me scratch my head. Very few relationships in life last forever. Friendships come and go, relationships work for a while then stop working. People change. Davey and I are realistic about the fact that we might not be together forever. While things are going so well we of course hope it lasts forever, but you never know where life will take you. Davey’s been married and as he seeks to get a divorce from his ex finalized he often gripes about how easy it is to get married but how difficult it is to dissolve that legal union. If it was as easy to dissolve it, I might not be so against it. It seems like the legal system is determined to keep you married once you’re there. Society pressures us to do it and then makes it difficult to get out of.

I can understand wanting to have some sort of committment ceremony to declare your love for someone. And I can see legally contracting to partner up to own property together, raise children, etc. but I can’t see these things being requirements. I loathe the fact that marriage is expected of us. I might not mind the idea of it if it weren’t so damn expected. Even though “living in sin” isn’t as taboo as it once was, I still end up bearing people’s expectations that I’m waiting for the ring, that I’d be happier if Davey and I would tie the knot. But I’m perfectly happy with our current situation. I’m happier with Davey than I’ve ever been, and we’re non-monogamous and not married. To hell with the idea that you need those two things to be happy.