Archive for the 'blog' Category

Not Another Play-by-Play

As I sit down tonight to write about the fantastic sex I had last night, I think of how some days I get bored writing about sex. Mind you, I don’t get bored having sex. But some days it feels like I say the same thing over and over here, “Blah blah blah, penis in vagina, blah blah blah, moan, writhe, pant, gasp, blah blah blah, not allowed to come for a while, blah blah blah, amazing orgasm.”

Again, I repeat that doing all this isn’t the least bit boring. Oh no. It’s fantastically exciting. But writing about it some days makes me wanna snooze.

So instead of a play-by-play, I’m going to reflect here on some thoughts I had last night and some moments that were particularly hot/intense. We had sex twice, my collar was on, although even when we forget to put my collar on I fall into sub mode when we have sex. MasterDoc is pretty relaxed when my collar is off, but there’s the understanding that even without my collar sometimes there’s times where my added respect is warranted. For example, when he gives me a direct order. Or when we’re getting down and dirty in bed. That’s when I either put in the “Sirs” myself or he reminds me. I know that some people always call their Dom or owner “Master” or “Sir” but I’m very happy to be in a more relaxed relationship. I do, however, have to work harder on making use I use the honorific “Sir” when my collar is on. As much as I love submitting to him, I can have a hard time with remembering “Sir.”

I’m only human, and some days/moments submitting is hard. I don’t feel like doing what he’s asking of me, or I’m cranky, or I’m feeling rebellious. But sometimes, things are just the opposite. Last night I was delighted to submit to him, delighted to wear the collar. Being his sub felt so right. I didn’t want to take the collar off. I felt so happy and thankful that my submissive side has been fulfilled by this relationship with MasterDoc. I’ve never had a D/s relationship before, I’ve only played prior to this, but it feels so good.

And not only does it fulfill a part of me, submitting is also incredibly hot. I kept thinking last night how the fact that whenever he wants a blow job, he can just tell me to do it and he gets one - this is really hot. Vanilla guys have to sometimes persuade their girlfriends to blow them, a Dom merely requests what he wants and get it. And that power is sexy. The fact that he controls my orgasms makes my arousal more intense. I had a blissful period of time last night, when I was on all fours, hugging a pillow and being fucked from behind, where I was in such ecstasy and yet such tension wanting to come. He really pushed me last night, and I bit my thumb, moaned, opened my eyes every now and then (and then they’d roll back into my head). He really kept me on the edge for an extended period of time. And when I came I worked hard to not let my muscles push him out - I did quite well although controlling that results in a strange sort of orgasm. I come, but it’s in fits and spurts.

Earlier, I rode him, my legs weary from exercise but my spirit being willing enough to propel me up and down on his cock.

After I’ve come, I’m speechless. The only speech I manage to regain quickly is the ability to say, “Thank you, Sir.” Then I lay down and bask in the afterglow - and catch my breath. As I cuddled up close to him last night I thought, “Life is good. I’m happy.”

(We used a new riding crop I got to review last night, and the pain was part of the pleasure for me. A review will come along shortly.)

An Open Fan Letter to Sex Bloggers

While I am a sex blogger, I’m also an admirer of sex bloggers. I often lament that there’s not enough time in the day to follow all the excellent sex blogs out there. I have many in my feed reader but come across others all the time that I feel I should be following. I want to support the community by putting excellent blogs in my blogroll and by reading (and perhaps occasionally commenting although I’m not good about that) these quality blogs. Unfortunately, the more I put in my reader the less complete blog entries I manage to read. Being overwhelmed with sexy, informative, amusing, and moving posts tends to lead to more “quantity” and less “quality” in my sex blog reading life.

I sometimes find myself wishing that I lived or worked in New York City, because there’s all sorts of sexy events attended by sex bloggers on weekday evenings that are hard for me to get to. I’m sure they don’t realize this, but to an “outsider” (using the term loosely) the whole thing seems terribly glamorous. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with a bunch of sexy, sex-positive, smart and dynamic women? (Yes, there are guy bloggers too but I find myself mostly following women’s blogs.) I feel a bit like a groupie at times - wanting to be part of this glamorous grouping and yet feeling like I’m just dorky old me who doesn’t fit in.

Of course, all these sex bloggers (in NYC and elsewhere) who I admire probably think of themselves (at least some of the time) as “dorky old me” as well. I know that I certainly don’t think of myself as someone who’s part of the “cool crowd” but to someone on the outside I might seem that way. And that’s odd to think about. There’s a certain glamour to being a sex blogger, even if the blogger doesn’t feel that way about themselves. So I want to tell all you wonderful sex bloggers who I read: I look at you as the “cool kids” who I’d love to hang out with. And I appreciate that when it comes down to it, bloggers are regular people who welcome me to join them at these cool events. My only wish was that I was better able to get to them.

Fun - With My Clothes On!

I’ve been out on the town two nights in a row, but amazingly, I kept my clothes on the whole time! I know, shocking.

Wednesday I went to board game night at the LGBT Center with Michelle, the lovely lady I had a date with last Saturday (you know, the one I was spazzing about over twitter if you follow my twitter). As I walked up to her outside the center I did, finally, manage to kiss her. Yes, I can hear you all out there in the blogosphere saying, “Finally!” It was a pretty innocent sort of kiss but at least it’s a start. I had fun learning a new board game (El Grande) from some board-game-geek gay men. Whoo hoo! It was fun. Michelle and I were the only two women there. It wasn’t all gay men, as her boyfriend was also there.  Five of us sat at the El Grande table and I managed to come in third after the two guys who had played it before. Coolness. A few of us went out for some food afterwards. I had a great time but had to head home lest I miss one of the late trains and have to sit around the station for an hour. Michelle asked me to put in a good word in case any bi/lesbian women who love board games and live in New York might want to come around to Board Stiff one night. We need more women there!

Last night, I went to In The Flesh for the first time. A whole slew of sex bloggers were there - I got to hang out with Catalina, Diva, Tess, and Mina; I got to meet Natt Nightly (who is indeed the butch I was ogling at the sex blogger calendar party - Natt is very cute), Twanna from Funky Brown Chick and Jack of Writing Dirty plus a few other people I’m forgetting. The readings were fun, and the company was wonderful. I hope to hang out with them more in the future. Oh, and if you get a chance to go - there’s delicious mini cupcakes served. Get there early to get the cupcakes!

I managed to get to In the Flesh from MasterDoc’s place in the Bronx via subway and bus. First time doing that but luckily I was able to get trains that connected up and dropped me just about a block away from In the Flesh.

So as day two of my vacation goes on, I’m in a good mood and I’ve had some fun. I have a wedding to go to this weekend (urgh!). And hopefully MasterDoc will feel better when I head back to his place on Sunday.

Blogiversary - 2 Years Old

This blog is 2 years old as of today. It’s funny, when I started it I said it would probably be less sexual than my old one. Ha! If anything I think it’s moreso. My old blog ran from 8/28/04 to 9/12/05, so I’ve been a consistent blogger for a total of three years with a 2 year or so break in between. Groovy.

I’m going back on my word and taking on a third company to review toys from. Sextoy.com has offered that I become a reviewer and I can’t resist! I will try to keep the reviewing under control, but I’ve just become this total sex toys whore I can’t help it! Don’t worry, the tales of me and MasterDoc will certainly continue.

Thanks for reading. And if you’re a reader why not say hi and leave a comment? Just one, then you can go back to lurking.

More details at Best Sex Bloggers

I wasn’t happy with my last entry’s description of the sex, so I wrote up an alternate entry and put it up over at Best Sex Bloggers. Hope you enjoy!

NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar Party

Much name dropping lies ahead!

MasterDoc and I went to the calendar party last night. I have to give him a special thanks as he was so kind to get me there by the time the doors opened - despite horrific traffic. So we got gift bags from Babeland and were among the first people in the door. (And the people standing in line outside waiting for the doors to open.)

I had been in touch with Lilly before the party and I knew she’d be just inside the door handing out bags with Bad Bad Girl. So even though I’ve scarcely seen a picture of her before I recognized her as I came in. The gift bags went fast and the place was packed throughout the night.

Diva came over and introduced herself to me. I’ve been chatting with her on twitter so it was nice to put a face to the name. I bought some raffle tix from her in the hopes of winning something like the rolling toy trunk from For Your Nymphomation or the Njoy Eleven, or the Njoy Pure Wand. *sigh* I didn’t win any of those but later walked out with a NaughtiNano, a vibrator which plugs into your iPod. I soon got to meet Tess as well and even got to touch her tits as promised in the promotion for the party.

MasterDoc and I had drinks and relaxed while the party got started. I went off in search of where to pick up my calendar, as well as saying hi to Audacia Ray and have her introduce me to Vera from For Your Nymphomation. (I will be reviewing something from them shortly. Can’t let you know about it yet, though!) I wanted to meet Vera because, if you follow my twitter feed you know, we had a misunderstanding via twitter. It is impossible to get the tone of a message through the internet and I took her message to be snarky in tone, when that’s not what she meant at all. We have long since made up and she was kind enough to give me a prototype necklace they’re working on. I’ll wait to tell you all about it when Vera says they’ll become available. But it’s very nice (just like something I wanted from Tiffany’s) and will be reasonably priced (unlike the necklace from Tiffany’s).

I had loads of stuff and bags in my arms by this time, and the place was getting very crowded, so MasterDoc and I took a walk to his car to put things away and to get some air. It was a lovely night in NYC last night - unseasonably warm. We shared a falafel at the place next door to the party and then went back in. I asked Lilly to introduce me to Catalina, as I hadn’t recognized her as of yet. It’s fun to walk up to someone, have them look at you wondering who you are and then reach out a hand and say, “I’m Nadia, the kinky librarian,” and have them smile and know just who you are. It was great to meet Catalina too (she of the oh so many blogs). She introduced me to Dimitri from Vibe Review, who I started being an affiliate with a short while back. (Between them and Babeland I don’t think I need to look around for more places to buy my sex toys.) Social spaz that I am it took me a moment or two before I introduced MasterDoc. Catalina said, “Ohh,” took one look at him and said, “You don’t look kinky!” I think that works to his advantage. He looks like a nice Jewish doctor you can take home to mother, but really he’s a very perverted man. (I’m so lucky to have him for my Dom!)

So yes, it was a busy night meeting a lot of people, with some time spent hanging out with MasterDoc as I’m not always the most sociable person in a room. My friend Mina was supposed to be there but I missed her if she was. I kept an eye open for divasub and her boyfriend/Dom but if they were there I didn’t see them either. I saw Rachel Kramer Bussel, who I’ve met once or twice before but I doubted she would remember me. (One time she was working the door at an all-women play party I went to. And I’m not sure I met her more than that one time. I once, a few years back, had a sexual dream with her in it, and she caught wind of my blog entry saying so and she mentioned it on her blog. Between her and Essin’ Em I’ve had two sex blogger sexual dreams. lol)

We also ran into the bartender from the swing club we visited on Wednesday night. She grabbed my butt and I turned around to see who had done it. I was happy to see it was a cute woman but it took me a second to recognize her out of the context of the club. MasterDoc and I were going to go to the other swing club last night, but we opted to go back to the one where the bartender worked. We had a nice time hanging out there after the party, but we didn’t do a lot of playing. We had a couple of drinks when we got there and MasterDoc, who doesn’t drink much at all, felt the alcohol so we had to hang out until he felt sobered up again before playing.

We ended up in the back S&M room as usual. We spooned and he slid his hand under my tights into my panties to play with my pussy. It’s funny how even though you couldn’t see anything with his hand down my pants, there were still single guys who were eager to watch. He had me take my tights and panties off and he played with me some more. He slapped my thighs, and again my pain tolerance was pretty decent thankfully. He had me suck his cock for a while, which I really enjoyed. He asked me which would I prefer - being beaten or getting fucked. I think I surprised both of us when I said I’d rather have the beating. (I wasn’t really feeling horny last night, I think MasterDoc wasn’t either.) He had me lay on my stomach and he spanked me a little bit, then he had me get up on the spanking bench.

He went to town on my butt, using slapper, flogger(s), and his hand. He told me to play with myself and kept asking if I was wet. Unfortunately I just wasn’t getting wet last night. I think he planned to fuck me on the bench but ultimately that didn’t happen. We soon got dressed and hung out some more before deciding to leave for the night.

Why I Blog

In his essay,  “Why I Write,” George Orwell lists the reasons why anybody writes:

I think there are four great motives for writing, at any rate for writing prose. They exist in different degrees in every writer, and in any one writer the proportions will vary from time to time, according to the atmosphere in which he is living. They are:

(i) Sheer egoism. Desire to seem clever, to be talked about, to be remembered after death, to get your own back on grown-ups who snubbed you in childhood, etc., etc…..

(ii) Aesthetic enthusiasm. Perception of beauty in the external world, or, on the other hand, in words and their right arrangement. Pleasure in the impact of one sound on another, in the firmness of good prose or the rhythm of a good story….

(iii) Historical impulse. Desire to see things as they are, to find out true facts and store them up for the use of posterity.

(iv) Political purpose - using the word “political” in the widest possible sense. Desire to push the world in a certain direction, to alter other people’s idea of the kind of society that they should strive after.

I can see these four impulses in me when I blog. Certainly, something every blogger hopes for is to become known, to have a lot of readership, to get linked to from bigger bloggers’ blogs. We want to feel like we’re important, popular and that people want to read what we have to say. I wasn’t very popular when I was younger, and certainly I can see the desire to be popular has never completely gone away. So we’ve got egoism - check.

While I’m not a phenomenal writer, I do take delight in a well-turned phrase, in a sentence that captures the moment so perfectly. I love when I’ve created a record of a wonderful time in my life, or used the blog to express difficult feelings. I like being able to go back and remember where I’ve been and what (who) I’ve done. And so we have aesthetic enthusiasm and historical impulse.

The fourth is certainly very clear on this blog - I want to promote healthy sexuality, STI awareness and understanding of alternative sexualities. I want to open up people’s minds to sex positivity. There’s way too much negativity and fear in sexuality in the United States, I hope to be one of the many voices that help change that.

Orwell’s long been one of my favorite writers, and I think he really hit the nail on the head with this one.

Odds and Ends

Yes, I’m being slowly sucked into this affiliate thing - I’ve just added Vibe Review as an affiliate in the sidebar. (I deliberately chose one of their banners without sexy imagery as someone, Jess, I believe, said that the nekkid pics would make it hard to view with her children around.) I’ve never shopped with them so I really can’t speak about their customer service. Truth be told, I’m hoping they offer toys to review. I haven’t made a dime off the Babeland affiliate thing yet, so I figure I’ll see if I can get paid in sex toys. I have two more toys coming from Babeland shortly.

I’ve seen on other blogs where the author answers questions from readers, and I wondered - does anyone have any questions for me? Any sexual philosophies you want me to wax poetic on? Leave ‘em in the comments and I will answer what I can. (Of course I reserve the right not to answer something!) I’d like to write some entries that are more about sex and bdsm theory and knowledge than just the wonderful things I get up to. I can’t see MasterDoc all the time, so I need something to keep me writing in the interim. (Anything you’d like to see me write about, MasterDoc?) I chatted via my digsby widget the other day with a nice young Brazillian woman looking for advice on anal sex (lots of lube! take your time!). I’m quite prepared to act as the Ann Landers of sexuality. And being a librarian, I may just cite references! I don’t have any formal education in sexuality, but I do have lots of experience (yes, the girl is a slut) and have read widely on the subject.

To Be Announced… New Site

I’ve decided that my new hobby will be making a website for this blog. I’ve purchased a domain name (to be announced when there’s something there to look at) and site hosting, now I just have to figure out how the hell to make something of the space. (Special thanks to my pal the Curmudgeony Librarian for letting me know I should pay extra for private site registration.) I’m quite the newbie when it comes to web design. Many moons ago, my first blog was a site I coded myself. Er, well, when I say coded myself I mean I stole the code from a friend’s blog and modified it using what I learned from a book called something like “Teach Yourself HTML 4 in 24 Hours.” Yes, this was back in the wild days before blogger and other convenient blog programs. (Or if they existed I didn’t know it.) I didn’t know the term blog, in fact, it was just my “online journal.” Not very exciting stuff as I blogged under my own name. The site was pretty basic. Each entry had to be a new page I created and manually linked to the page before.

I’ve bounced around blogging platforms a little and I like Blogger best for the ease of use, even if it is now owned by evil Google who stores all your information indefinitely. (I find LiveJournal to be hopelessly complicated. Vox was ok but who the hell uses it? I forget the rest I’ve tried.) But now I’ve decided to make life difficult for myself. *chuckle* I’ve downloaded two things that might help me - Movable Type (if I can figure out how to install it) and Nvu (an open source WYSIWYG editor I have yet to figure out how to use). I’ve got a 30 day trial of Photoshop Elements to do the graphics on (so far the most fun part and the part I know the most about doing!). This will certainly be a little adventure. I’ll post developments here when there are any. My web host provides a site editing program but none of the templates are really satisfactory.

Anyway, I’m going to go enjoy my once-a-week-masturbation-without-permission session and then get to work installing Movable Type to see what it can do. Wish me luck! Any web geeks out there willing to give me advice when I need it? (Curmudgeony and D.S. are good for that.)