When Babeland sent out their weekly list of toys to review, I was intrigued by two of them. The first one, Pleasure Tops, was just too funny-looking not to review. An odd, cone shape, with a thumb-shaped appendage, it was like no sex toy I had ever used before. I was happy when the toy arrived and the box said “phthalate-free,” as phthalates have become a health concern in sex toys. The toy is also waterproof. It contains two internal bullet vibes, one in the top of the cone and the other in the “thumb.” You twist the base to turn it on and vary the speed of vibration.

I tested out the new toys with Davey on Sunday. I started with the Wahl massager (see separate review) and had an orgasm from that. So, I was all primed to try out the toy I thought would pack a far smaller punch than the Wahl - the Pleasure Tops. Now the box says that you can use the cone for either vaginal or anal penetration and the “thumb” for clitroral or scrotal stimulation. I tried kneeling over the toy, as you’re supposed to sit on it, but the toy is way too small to reach your cunt from a kneeling position. I was hesitant to sit directly onto something cone-shaped, so I lay back and inserted it into my cunt. When outside your body, the toy seems to have good, strong vibration. However once it presses into/against you, the intensity goes way down. It felt nice to have the Pleasure Tops in me, spreading me wide, and the “thumb” on my clit, but there was no way I was going to orgasm from the sensation. I declared the toy a bit of a dud.

Later that day, I went to MasterDoc’s and his former roomate, Liz, was there and she was eager to try out my new toys. She took Pleasure Tops into another room and sat on a firm chair. She agreed that it wouldn’t get her off, and she thought it was lame how you’d have to swivel your body to turn the vibe up or down while you’re sitting on it. Sitting did allow her to lean forward into the “thumb” which seems to be the way the toy was intended to be used. She agreed that while it felt good, it wasn’t going to do the job.

Later, when MasterDoc and I went off into the bedroom, Liz grabbed the toy again and gave it another whirl. This time she did like I did, and lay back, inserting the toy into her vagina. She said that this time she enjoyed it much more and changed her opinion of it. All in all, we agree that it feels nice, but there’s design flaws (the controls, the cone doesn’t hit your g-spot at all). I can’t give it a ringing endorsement, but if you like feeling like you’re getting progressively spread open then this may just be the toy for you with its wide base.

I had scheduled this to post at 9 am but wordpress will not cooperate when it comes to scheduled posts. So alas, as I’m away this week I will not likely be posting at all.

Now that I’ve decided to take a foray into reviewing items, I figured it might be nice to give a “Nadia’s thumbs up” to a few items I actually bought with my own money that I’m really glad I got.

• The Rock Chick. It’s one of the mysteries of the universe why I don’t use this often, it’s a terrific toy. It nudges your g-spot while you rock it back and forth over your clit and mons. The part over your clit has a cordless bullet vibe in it. I should resist but I will say it - the rock chick rocks!

• The Keeper - Not a sex toy, but as a liberated woman I’m so glad to get away from tampons and pads. The Keeper is a gum rubber menstrual cup, it catches your flow rather than stopping it up. You simply dump it out, clean with soap and water and put back in again. One of my favorite things is that once you start your period there’s nothing to carry - the Keeper is with you at all times. I could never go back to tampons and pads now (especially with their bleached cotton that’s not good for your bits). If you prefer silicone or have an allergy to latex, The Moon Cup or Diva Cup is the same thing in silicone. I also love that I can wear this for longer than I ever could tampons. On heaviest days, I’d have to change my super absorbency tampons every three hours, the Keeper needs to be emptied every eight. On lighter days I can simply take care of it every twelve hours - just twice a day! Not to mention it lasts 10 years and works out to be MUCH cheaper and easier on the environment than tampons or pads.

• Instead - In the same vein of the Keeper, the Instead soft cup is another menstrual cup, but it’s shaped like a diaphragm and as such you can have sex with it in. It’s not perfect, I’ve had it leak when my flow is heavy, so it’s not going to replace the Keeper in my life anytime soon, but it is handy to reduce the risk of mess while having sex during your period.

• Acrylic wand. Babeland doesn’t carry this any more, so I can’t provide a link. But it’s an acrylic wand, bent at one end for g-spot stimulation and nobbly at the other end. Again, a toy I really should play with more but somehow I don’t end up doing it. I didn’t think I liked hard dildoes until I tried this one. I will have to give this a spin more often.

• Lube. Just a general category, silicone-based or water-based ones without glycerin are recommended (glycerin can increase yeast infections in some women). Do NOT under any circumstances use silicone lube with silicone toys, you will ruin your toys. I generally stick with water-based myself. And I once thought this was known by everyone until I had the couple I used to play with try to use baby oil with condoms - you CANNOT use oil-based lubes with condoms. The oil will weaken the latex and your condom won’t provide the protection you’re using it for. If you’re fluid-bound with your partner and not using condoms, or if you use the female condom (it’s made of polyurethane) you can use oil-based.

• Silicone toys. Silicone rocks because you can boil it to disinfect. You can run it through the dishwasher even (just take out any vibrating parts first). The rock chick is silicone. I avoid plastic jelly toys like the plague these days (I have a couple I really should just throw out) as the porous jelly will trap bacteria, so even if you’re the only person using it you run the very real risk of infection. (When sharing toys it’s of course recommended to use condoms over them to prevent transmission of infection.) Silicone costs a bit more but it’s definitely worth it.

I hope you’ve enjoyed my little ramble. It’s made me think of toys I should dig out once my period is over (clit toys are so good during your period, you can leave your keeper in). I hope this has been helpful in some way.