Archive for the 'porn' Category

“He gave them pain like balm, and they begged him for it”

Published
by
Nadia
on June 24, 2009
in D/s, bdsm, embarrassment, masochism, piss play, porn, sadism, sex, sex toys, spanking and submissive
. 1 Comment

I’m reading a fantasy novel right now, suggested to me a while back by my friend Divasub. It’s called Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey. I’ve just come across the bdsm themes in the book, and now understand why she recommended it to me.

“Alone among angels, Kushiel understood that the act of chastisement was an act of love; and the sinner in his charge too came to understand, and loved him for it. He gave them pain like balm, and they begged him for it, finding in it not redemption, but a love that transcended the divine.”

This flowery prose seemed lovely to me when I read it this morning. Last night MasterDoc was wonderfully dominating and it was so what I needed.

At the start of the evening, we went looking for porn online and found a librarian porn video. I can’t find the link to it now, unfortunately. (UPDATE: MasterDoc gave me the link.) It was very amateur - just one camera angle. But the “librarian” (I think her glasses were meant to identify her as a librarian) wore a collar and wrist and ankle cuffs. There was a definite bdsm overtone to the video. And while going down on the guy, she put her hands between his legs to massage his inner thighs - just like I do with MasterDoc! We laughed and wondered if perhaps someone was inspired by our hijinks.

We tried out my new ceramic vibe. Unfortunately it was not as wonderful as I had hoped. I will review it later. I grabbed the acuvibe mini when told to get another toy and I used that to bring myself just about to the edge of orgasm. MasterDoc then had me stop, bend over the liberator scoop, and he fucked me from behind. He’d spank me every so often. It felt great and I wished that he’d let me come like that. He stopped, and started spanking me with my new crop. When that didn’t seem to be as hard as he’d like, he started spanking me with his hands. It went from painful to incredibly hot. I was on the verge of orgasm (he had me play with my clit at the same time) when he started hitting harder. He told me to come, but the pain had just crossed the threshold from stimulating to painful, so it took me a few seconds to be able to come. But I did manage. I’m surprised I didn’t squirt.

We took a break, and then he had me get on top and ride him. My knees were worn out from exercising earlier in the day, but I managed to ride for a while. I got close to orgasm, and he helped me along by asking if I was ready to come, “Right now.” Often, even if I’m not quite to that point his asking me that will put me on the edge. He told me to come, and I came. While I was coming he said, “Come now cunt, and I’ll piss on you when you’re done.” I decided that I had better enjoy my orgasm while I could, and I came really hard. I hoped that he had been just threatening the pissing. And as we cuddled after I thought perhaps that was the case.

I went to get ready for bed, and when I came back from the bathroom, he was holding my collar. “Put this on,” he said, “And come with me.”

He led me back to the door of the bathroom. It was clear that he hadn’t forgotten or threatened idly when he said he was going to piss on me. He told me to get in the tub, on my knees, and if the tub was cold well that was just tough shit. I did as I was told, wincing at the idea of what he was going to do to me. He made me say I was ready, and made me say that I wanted him to piss on me. I clenched my eyes shut as I couldn’t bear to look. He started to piss on me, and with my eyes closed I could sorta block out what it was, and just enjoy the feeling of warm liquid running over me. I could ignore the faint odor of urine and pretend it wasn’t pee. He told me to hold my tits up. I didn’t react fast enough and he ordered me to do it again. I did as I was told and he pissed all over my tits. The piss ran down my body and I was fairly drenched in it by the time he was done. I tell you, he had to have been saving that up all evening. It seemed to go on a long time.

I was feeling humiliated and stunned afterwards. He told me I could rinse off and he was kind enough to get me a towel to dry off after. I carefully rinsed myself off and patted myself dry. I found that I really needed a hug after that. Humiliation play can be pretty intense, and while I like it I definitely need a hug and reassurance of some sort afterwards. I found that while piss play was every bit as humiliating as I would imagine, I didn’t freak out or fall apart from it. Of course, I don’t know that I would have been so composed if he had pissed in my mouth.

While in theory I don’t like piss play, I have been craving some serious domination lately, and this really fit the bill. I wouldn’t let anyone else piss on me. Only he has that power over me.

I slept soundly last night. And a few minutes after waking I remembered, “Oh jeez! He pissed on me last night!”

Thoughts on Porn

Published
by
Nadia
on June 17, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, horny, kink, porn and sex
. 0 Comments

Last night, MasterDoc and I watched some porn as usual. When I’m put in charge of selecting porn I generally pick something from kink.com. Last night, he made the selection, and it was a vanilla group sex porn. Now, I find group sex a turn on, but I wasn’t especially turned on by the porn last night. It took me a while to get worked up, even when I was already on top riding him - and he had played with my pussy for a while, which I enjoyed. I wondered why it was hard for me to get into the sex. (Besides the fact that this was the worst porn I can recall seeing.)

It dawned on me, in the kink.com videos the women are engaged in the sex/kink they’re having. It’s hot because you’re watching something real happen. Now, not all vanilla porn is staged, but I find that the women seem like they’re faking it much more often in vanilla porn. And it’s the fakeness that turns me off. It’s much easier to fake vanilla sex - just lube yourself up and get fucked while making moans of supposed ecstasy. But when you’re being dommed your brain is engaged with the situation as well as your body. And that’s fucking hot. So I don’t think it’s just because I’m a kinky mofo that I prefer kink porn, I think it’s also the degree of engagement in the female performers. I want to watch hot sex - not people going through the motions.

It also helps that kink.com is known for being ethical and respectful of their performers. (Now if they’d only branch out into models with different body types, we’d be set.)

I did manage to get into things and have a great orgasm - and for the first time (?) in recollection I had to stop coming to catch my breath. MasterDoc was amazed.

After the first round of sex I got to select the next porn, and of course I put on something kinky. We cuddled and watched that for a while. He had me put a condom on him in preparation for the next time and told me to suck his cock hard. (The condom deadens sensations a little, so I can get much rougher when he has a  condom on.) I threw myself into sucking his cock roughly. Then MasterDoc put me on my knees on the liberator wedge at the edge of the bed. The wedge put me up just high enough for the penetration to be perfect. Oh god, did I get into the fucking that time. My moaning at times like that must be so animalistic. I feel amazing and struggle to hold back from coming. When he let me come I came long and hard.

I fell foward when he told me to, and caught my breath. I really felt like a cuddle would be nice, but MasterDoc’s phone rang while we were having sex so he checked it and had to get back to someone right away. Instead of sulking or getting cranky, I decided to be patient, and then when he was available to state my need - a cuddle. And of course I got the cuddle I needed. I went to bed last night feeling happy and wishing my time with MasterDoc could last even longer.

Lately I find myself longing to be in my collar and being submissive. I miss when MasterDoc and I would do shows for people. We’ve fallen into a bit of a rut sometimes - although it’s understandable since MasterDoc has been sick and had back issues as of late. There are some days when I long for him to do something to me which I detest, just so I can feel turned on by his control over me. I long for an extended period of pain before sex. I’m a kinky mofo indeed.

The Rest of the Weekend

Published
by
Nadia
on June 2, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, dom, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting and submissive
. 0 Comments

My mood improved over Saturday. By Saturday evening I was feeling reasonably sociable and our friend V. came over.  She had a new flogger that her friend made from salvaged material (rubber) and she wanted to try it out. She had tried it with her girlfriend, but there was an issue with controlling it. She wanted to have MasterDoc try it since he’s much more experienced with floggers. It quickly became clear that the strands were too long and that was the issue. After a moment’s hesitation, V. agreed that he could cut the flogger down a bit. Eight inches or so later, the flogger was much more manageable. MasterDoc used it on V.’s butt for a while, then I got a turn. Man it stung!

On Sunday he and I went out to lunch and otherwise spent the day around his place. After I finished my required Wii Fit, I went to see MasterDoc who was lying in the bedroom, watching porn. We hadn’t necessarily planned to have sex just then, but he was inspired by a bit of the porn - the submissive was tied up (suspended but on her feet) with a magic wand at her clit. She was given two minutes to come. He had me get the magic wand out, put my collar on and get undressed. He teased me with the wand until I was aching to come. Then suddenly he said, “You have two minutes to come all you want. Go.” Instantly I started to come, screaming and quivering. I kept right on coming for the full two minutes, and it was hard to stop myself when he told me to stop. It felt amazing. Next he asked me if I was ready to be fucked. Oh yes please! He had me get the Liberator Wedge to put under his ass and I got on top for a ride. I was all wet from coming just moments before. We hadn’t had sex in two weeks and it was heavenly to feel his cock inside me.

Yesterday I was acutely aware of what at turn on it is for him to have control over when I orgasm. As I rode his cock I got more and more turned on thinking about how much I wanted to come, but that I wasn’t allowed to as of yet. I kept moaning and breathing heavy, fucking him frantically, feeling his cock slide in and out of me as my clit rubbed up against his tummy. At one point he slapped my face a few times and called me a whore. Jesus, that turned me on even more. I kept hoping he’d do it again. He made me promise that if I was allowed to come that I wouldn’t let my vaginal muscles push his cock out. I knew how hard that would be but I whimpered, “I promise I’ll try my best, Sir,” as I was desperate to come. Initially it worked, I focused on controlling my vaginal muscles while also letting myself orgasm. I struggled with it and ultimately got the point where I said, “Oh I can’t help it anymore!” and my muscles clenched down and pushed his cock out. Since he had said I was only allowed to come as long as his cock was inside me he ordered me to stop right then. The command didn’t sink in and I came for another few seconds, which he was not happy with. He asked me about it after to make sure it wasn’t me willfully disobeying, and I didn’t do it intentionally.

Since MasterDoc’s been sick lately, I didn’t really think we’d have more sex later on, but we did. Lucky me! The BDSM porn from before was put on again, and I reached down into my panties and played with myself - thinking how hot it must be to see a woman who is so horny that she will just lose herself in playing with her pussy. I would steal glances at MasterDoc stroking his cock, and at the porn. I worked myself up into a frenzy and hoped that my masturbating in front of him turned him on. He had me get lube and a condom and he fucked me from behind. There was much moaning and whimpering from me as it seemed to last forever. Oh dear god, it feels amazing and frustrating at the same time. When I have vanilla sex with someone, there’s this build up to orgasm and then an orgasm. It’s pretty quick. But with submitting to MasterDoc I’m held in state of all-consuming arousal for an extended period of time. I had such a hard time holding back. He fucked me hard and made me desperate to come. When I came, I squirted and fell forward after his cock was pushed out of me. I kept coming, and he kept stroking my back, grabbing my hair and touching me to prolong the feeling. I later had the thought that it must feel amazing to be able to make me come like that - intense orgasms even while there’s no direct genital contact.

After rest, there was some more fucking. This time I was on my back. I was pleasantly surprised at MasterDoc’s stamina considering he’s been sick and having back pain lately. Usually, after we fuck I’m in this blissful state where I curl up against him and stroke his chest… my arousal not abating. I get hopeful that my touching him and kissing his chest will get him to fuck me again, and very often I’m successful. (Of course, it is more than likely true that he wants to fuck some more and it’s not just my desire that fuels it.) On Sunday night I didn’t want to be too aggressive though, as I knew he hadn’t been feeling well. But he fucked me for a while and let me come - slapping my pussy to keep me coming (and squirting).

Now, three wonderful fucks in one day would have been enough to make me VERY happy. But he decided to fuck me again, this time with me on top. He reached around and slapped my ass which just drove me wild. I’m very lucky to have a Dom who wants to have sex over and over in an evening. By the time the evening was over, I was grinning like an idiot and amazingly happy. Good sex cures my depression pretty much every time - I haven’t felt depressed since.

I noticed that evening the feeling of intimacy that comes from being submissive to someone (over a long period of time). It’s not quite there in vanilla sex. My pleasure is directly tied to his pleasure and choices as to what we do, and as such that’s extremely intimate.

He asked me, “So was that worth waiting two weeks for?” Hell yes!

Masturbation

Published
by
Nadia
on May 16, 2009
in D/s, bisexuality, masturbation and porn
. 0 Comments

When I was young I masturbated all the time. Doing it a few times in one day wasn’t unusual. I ferreted away things like Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogs, and the stray Penthouse my father lost track of, to masturbate to. Since becoming an adult however, I find that things like time and energy (the lack thereof) keep me from masturbating nearly as much. Granted, I get sex now too and I didn’t get sex when I was young and masturbating a few times a day.
Quite a while ago MasterDoc put restrictions on my masturbation - I think at first it was once a week, then increased to twice a week. I had to tease myself and keep myself on the edge of coming as practice. Months later he amended that to I had to make myself come as quickly as possible for one of them, and could do it how I wanted for the other. Nowadays it’s merely confined to twice a week - whatever way I want.

Most weeks I don’t get two times in, let alone need to ask for permission for more. So this week is unusual in that I have masturbated four times. One time with MasterDoc when I saw him on Wednesday (I figure that if I’m masturbating with him involved it doesn’t count for one of my two times a week), the next Thursday night, again Friday morning, then I wanted to do it again Friday night, but I knew I needed to get permission from him for that. It was getting late and I didn’t want to bother him so I didn’t - masturbate or ask for permission. (Although my crafty brain kept saying, “Hey, you know he’ll say yes so why not just do it?” Luckily I was a good little submissive and I didn’t do so without getting his permission first.) Then today I was still horny so I texted him asking for permission, which he granted.

When I did it with him by my side on Wednesday, it was certainly enhanced by him being there and touching me. I find that sometimes when I do it alone it’s harder to come - I think because I’m not at such a high level of arousal as I am around him. With him there’s the anticipation of when he’ll let me come - or will he let me come even? When he talks to me, teasing me verbally, I get really worked up. Having him stroke my face and gently touch my labia as I press the bullet vibe to my clit sends me over the edge.

On Thursday I masturbated the old fashioned way - a way I’ve been masturbating since I was a little girl - I grabbed hold of the fabric of my panties and undulated my hips so that my mons and clit rubbed against the fabric until I came. This is the way I’ve managed to masturbate while driving the various times I’ve done that (not lately sadly).

Friday morning consisted of me getting the bullet vibe out as time ticked towards my having to leave for work. I came, but not hard, and I ended up walking into work a couple of minutes late.

Friday night I was really horny and really wishing I had MasterDoc’s cock inside me. Rowr. But mostly I watched Black Adder episodes and surfed the net.

Today, I put on some porn - a double penetration scene in a doctor’s office (the two male doctors take on the female patient). It was hot in some ways, but I was bothered by the fact that the woman never seemed to come and there didn’t seem to be concern about her coming or not - it was all about the guys’ pleasure. (I didn’t watch it entirely through.) But I focused on the action and used my bullet vibe to come. Again, not a great orgasm but it did the job.

My libido is so high these days that I still feel horny. It’s a relief after my lack of libido (thanks to prozac) many months back. But sometimes I feel tense and on edge because I’m so horny. Tonight I have a date coming over (second date with a woman I had a first date with a couple of weeks back) and I hope I don’t feel like a randy teenage boy. I have no idea if sex will be a part of the night and I certainly don’t assume, especially since I’ve never so much as kissed this woman.

Maybe I’ll need to ask for permission to masturbate again before this evening.

Horniness

Published
by
Nadia
on April 18, 2009
in D/s, bdsm, bisexuality, fantasy, horny, masochism, masturbation, porn, sex and sex parties
. 0 Comments

I don’t know what’s with me this week, I’m so horny. I think it might be the bdsm porn I keep watching. I masturbated to a few hard orgasms this morning and I can’t wait until tonight - I’m going to a party with MasterDoc. I should be on my best behavior because then I’m more likely to get lots of cock and pussy. Rowr. This morning I used my bullet vibe but also my Lelo Liv to get myself off. The Liv hits my g-spot and the bullet vibrates my clit. I got really, really wet. I’m glad I put a towel down on the couch. Watching bdsm porn turns me on so much that I can’t help but play with myself. I feel ravenously horny and ready to take on as many people as possible tonight. I’m also really in the mood to submit. I want to wear my collar and serve MasterDoc. I want to be patient and never whiny. God, submission turns me on so much. I really need a beating. I really need tons orgasms. I’m so hungry for sex.

I’ve really enjoyed the two Training of Delilah Strong videos that are posted on Tnaflix. First off, she’s hot, secondly it’s wonderful to watch her face as she goes from pain to smiling while she’s beaten. I love seeing her struggle and imagining myself in her position (not that I can hold the positions she does, girl is younger and in much better shape than I am). I want to be used like a whore tonight. I want to be fucked over and over again.

Did I mention I’m horny?

Submission and Orgasms

Published
by
Nadia
on April 17, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, masochism, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sex and squirting
. 1 Comment

On Wednesday, I twittered about some porn I was watching and masturbating to. MasterDoc took notice of this and had me re-create my masturbation session for him. He wanted me to come at the same points I came the night before. He had me put clothes on and everything to re-create how I was when I masturbated (hands down pants with the bullet vibe, on the living room sofa). We watched the long training of Delilah Strong video, and I realized that I had watched quite a bit of it before I got myself off.

Masturbating for him got me more worked up than masturbating by myself did. I wanted to come much earlier than I had the night before and had to fight off the urge to come. I was supposed to come only when I had come the night before, or the best approximation I could make of it. While we watched the video I realized that the things that got me off weren’t things that were directly sexual. If you go watch the video, you’ll see that it’s largely submissive training with the subject being made to hold difficult physical positions for lengths of time. Only when she’s done satisfactorily do they give her a magic wand and 30 seconds to get herself off. I came as she masturbated the first time, and MasterDoc made me stop after 30 seconds like she did. We watched some more, MasterDoc telling me to keep myself at the height of arousal, ready to come at any time. When she was given the magic wand again I was told to come again and I was so turned on that I came really hard - the type of orgasm where you totally lose consciousness about your surroundings. Again, he had me stop after 30 seconds. I could have kept going for 30 minutes.

He was stroking his cock the whole time I worked myself up with the vibe. I’m sure he could tell how aroused I was by my breathing growing ragged and little gasps that I’d let out. He decided to fuck me and had me get up on hands and knees. I was so wet and hot that he slid in easily. I wanted to come almost right away and I moaned loudly. He pounded me and I felt it deep within my abdomen. I started begging to come and he responded by spanking my ass. This just made me want to come more and I had to work hard to hold off coming. I moaned more and more, yearning for release. When he finally let me come my vaginal muscles contracted and as they pushed his cock out I fell forward, coming convulsively even without vaginal stimulation. He spanked my ass, stroked my body, clasped my thighs and I just kept coming. I lost all awareness of my surroundings, my entire focus was on my body, the orgasms I was having and him touching me. I squirted a huge puddle in the middle of the bed.

After I recovered, and he embarassed me by making me show our friend Liz the huge wet spot on the bed, we went back to watching the video (it’s over an hour long). I was horny again but somehow wasn’t sure if it was okay if I played with myself. MasterDoc pointed out that I could (doh!) and I started stroking my wet pussy. I’m so used to playing with a vibe that it can be difficult to bring myself over the edge with just my fingers. I worked at it though, but after a while grabbed the bullet vibe again. He let me come again, and this time he kept telling me to come. I milked my body for all the orgasms I could - continuing on even after I thought I would run out of steam. I had long dreamed of being forced to orgasm and this was the first time (I think) that he had me go and go and go. He asked me if I’m a dirty whore and in the heat of passion I had no trouble saying, “Yes, Sir, I’m a dirty whore.” Eventually, he told me that I had enough.

He fucked me again, from behind, and again I moaned like a bitch in heat. I was so turned on - I don’t know how I could hold onto that level of arousal for that long but I did. When he told me to come again it was like last time, only even more intense. I fell forward, screaming and coming. It amazes me how I will keep orgasming even after stimulation has stopped. My brain was totally in another world. When he stopped, I lay on the bed, face down, spent. I quickly said, “Thank you, Sir.” because the porn was on my mind where she got scolded for taking too long to express gratitude. I lay there for a while after this as I was still out of it - and feeling very, very satisfied.

The next morning, I was in the best mood ever. And I enjoyed one of those rare times when I feel sexually satisfied and no longer horny (although always ready for more!) Tomorrow night we’re going out to a bdsm party and I look forward to being in submissive mode and playing around/with others. There’s a lady who’s going to be there who is keen to play with me (rowr!)

Slut

Published
by
Nadia
on April 9, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, cunt, horny, orgasm on command, porn, reviews, sex and slut
. 0 Comments
We went into the bedroom and I wondered what he had in mind. He plans out, more or less, what he intends to do to me in a given night and I get to feel the anticipation of not knowing and wondering what the glint in his eye holds. We started off slowly with cuddles, him spooned up against me. He stroked my ass, my tummy, as I start to breathe heavy and relax into his touch he slides his hands up to my breasts. Every touch is thrilling. He grabs hold of my ass roughly and pulls my cheeks apart, exposing me. I feel him stroke his cock head against my ass and I try to push back into it a little. He grabs my ass some more, manhandling me.
I don’t want to move, I’m lost in reverie. But he tells me to get up and get some lube. I grab the new Wet Together lube I’ve gotten samples of - it’s a pair of lubes, one for him (water-based), one for her (silicone-based). His is supposed to be warming, hers tingling. We each use the designated lube and both experience a warming sensation. We joke about how they’re encouraging unsafe sex by encouraging people to combine the two lubes together. I’m nice and slippery and horny when he has me lie on my back. He kneels between my legs and strokes his cock along my labia, rubbing the two lubes together. I’m aching for him to enter me, my pussy tingling and warm, and just as it becomes unbearable he puts a condom on, uses a bit more lube on the outside of it, and slowly slides in. I feel every inch as his thick cock head pushes its way past the muscles of my vagina. I gasp as it pushes in just a little bit farther. Soon, he’s fucking me.
I close my eyes and focus on his cock sliding in and out. He fucks me hard and in no time I wish I could come. I try my hardest to hold back asking for permission. It feels amazing to be held on the edge like that. I gasp and moan, yearning to come. I keep hoping that my gasps and moans will cause him to give me permission to come. I let him know how much I want it, but without using words. Amazingly, I manage to hold out until he gives me permission. “Come,” he says and in a few seconds I’m coming hard. My vagina pushes his cock out of me, but I still keep coming. So intense are my feelings of arousal that I’ll come at the drop of a hat. He encourages me to keep coming and it seems to last for several minutes, although it was probably much shorter than that. I keep coming until he says I’ve had enough.
We return to the porn that we were watching - a hot film about a woman being used like a doornob - i.e., everybody gets a turn. He teases me that I’d like that - to be passed around and used. I blush and look away because it’s true. As I watch the film I realize how hot it is for a woman to be a slut; for her to be enthusiastic about sex and ravenous for it. The way she gives her body over to the man and woman dominating her is just so hot. They pass her back and forth between them, having her suck cock and lick pussy alternately, then they pass her on to other people in the room. I can imagine the humiliation of being used like a cheap whore in front of and by strangers but also think that this is really hot.
MasterDoc asks if I’m ready to climb on top of his cock and I say, without hesitation, that yes I am. I’m still so turned on from before, and from watching the porn. He teases me, telling me I’ll be used like a doornob. He fills my head with such delightful imagery and makes me feel like such a slut that I’m moaning in no time. I ride his cock hard, rubbing my cunt against it furiously. He tells me to come and I come - again his cock gets pushed out but I continue to rub my cunt against his hard cock and I keep coming and coming. He spanks my ass, grabs hold of me and my body continues to convulse. Just when I think the pleasure is subsiding a bit he gets me to come again and I tense up so hard that I can barely breathe. I surrender to the power he has to make me come over and over - even without direct genital contact. It’s absolutely amazing what he can do to me - how turned on he gets me and how hard he can make me come. Afterward, I lay on the bed next to him, smiling and looking at him adoringly. How could you not love a man who makes you feel like that?

Rough Beating

Published
by
Nadia
on November 23, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, orgasm on command, porn, sex, spanking and submissive
. 0 Comments

We were supposed to go out to a gang bang with S. last night. I was looking forward to the possibility of MasterDoc lining up a few men to fuck me. It was a marked difference in my mood from the night before. Alas, we realized too late that we didn’t have the location of the party. Doh! S. came over for dinner but went home afterward. I was worried it would be a really quiet night in. MasterDoc was watching a basketball game, but I was horny. So when I got my hands on his laptop I quickly pulled up some porn. Oh yes, I was trying to put ideas in his head.

I went for the bdsm flicks, searching for submissive porn on tnaflix.com. As I watched, he started looking over my shoulder, watching along with me. Soon it was clear that he was turned on and my hopefulness at getting some grew.  We take the laptop, with the porn running, into the bedroom. The porn is rough and I’m enjoying it. He has me play with myself with the magic wand. I stare transfixed at the computer screen. He asks me if I’m ready to come, and as usual when he does that my hopes go up and I get right to the edge of orgasm. He has me trained so well. But no, he just teases me with the idea of it and doesn’t give me permission. I’m moaning, aching to come, but no luck.

He has me get on hands and knees so he can fuck me. He fucks me for a while, keeping me right on the edge of orgasm. It seems like he fucks me forever because I’m desperate to come and he keeps denying me permission to come. Over and over he has me begging, swooning, dying for more. He has me play with the magic wand on my clit while he fucks me, and this just keeps me so close to the edge. He starts to spank my ass a little. Finally, I hear that one word I’ve been dying to hear - “Come.” I turn into a panting mess in just a second. I feel like I just want to come forever and ever. I don’t want to stop.

He tells me that that’s enough and we lay down on the bed next to each other. He has me suck his cock for a while and I gobble it up, trying my hardest to get it down my throat without gagging. I practice riding through the feeling of my gag reflex switching on. I struggle to keep the heaving at bay. I think I did better at it than I usually do, but I still need lots of work.

He then decides that I need a good spanking since I won’t be seeing him for a while (over a week *sigh*). He has me get the leather slapper and the large wooden ping-pong paddle. Yikes. Two rough toys. I know I’m in store for quite a beating.

He spanks me really hard; I mean really hard. Hard with his hands, hard with the paddle, hard with the strap. Sometimes the pain is so much I can’t catch my breath but then other times it slides into feeling good or feeling like he’s not touching me at all. It was the strangest sensation when the blows would cease to hurt. I think I hit an endorphin rush quite quickly. I was sure I’d have bruises the next day, but no luck. He has me play with the magic wand on myself while spanking me. I’m on the edge of coming, so desperate. He keeps withholding permission - he really held back with permission last night and it was driving me crazy. Finally, while he’s hitting me, he tells me to come. I come, shuddering and I fall forward, he keeps hitting me. By this time the magic wand has fallen out of my hands onto the bed. I keep coming, this time from the pain of his spanking me. I come over and over again. I finish one orgasm and start another due purely to the feel of his hands striking my ass. He runs his hands over my body, up to my hair to grab it for a second, around me to touch the sensitive area where hip meets thigh. He knows that everything he’s doing will just prolong the ecstasy. Again, I feel like I could come forever. I want more, more more. I can’t believe how hard I’m coming and how long I’m coming for. It’s amazing to me how he can strike me, or just run his hands along my body and make me come.

After, my butt is so red he gets our friend Liz from the next room to take a look and she takes a photo with her iPhone. (He has a very peculiar household.) My butt is still sore today, but there are no bruises. I just seem to mysteriously not bruise these days. MasterDoc says he will just have to hit me harder. Yikes. He was hitting me pretty damn hard last night!

His birthday is coming up this week, and I got him a toy for his birthday. (What does one perv get another perv for their birthday? A sex toy!) I know he enjoys anal stimulation and the just night before I was telling him how hot that is - that he’s a straight man who fully enjoys anal play. So many straight guys are uptight about you playing with their ass, but with MasterDoc as my Dom I’ve had many lessons about pleasing him by playing with his ass.  So the pandora is designed to stimulate his prostate and it vibrates too! I have a hard time getting it in properly so he takes a while to show me what I’m doing wrong. I like the feeling of being taught how to please him, by this time I’ve learned a lot and I wonder if I’d be any good at pleasing another guy now since I’ve been so focused on MasterDoc’s little nuances. So I hold the pandora in and angle it so the curved end is hitting his prostate (or heading in the direction of his prostate anyway, I think). He jerks off, watching porn while I play with his ass. Eventually he comes really hard and it’s wonderful to watch. As he comes, he tells me to come if I can and my god I actually do! I actually came when he hadn’t touched me in quite some time. His voice just does me in. I really wonder if anyone else in the world could make me feel the way he does.

I begged him for permission with my eyes

Published
by
Nadia
on November 5, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, best sex bloggers, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sex and squirting
. 4 Comments

My collar on, I lay on the bed and start touching the magic wand to my clit to warm myself up.  He strokes himself and watches me, my eyes shut for the most part. I get right to the edge of orgasm and then lay off the vibe a little. He tells me I don’t have to keep myself right on the edge, but it feels so damn good to hold myself at the edge. While riding the edge doesn’t have the sense of release that an orgasm does, the nerve endings around my cunt tingle and get warm and I enjoy waves of pleasure. I keep riding the edge and he starts pushing the wand up against me. With the vibration intensified, I look at him, and I beg him with my eyes for permission to come. I know that he wants me to hold out as long as possible before asking for permission to come, so I work hard at holding back, but it’s so hard. I keep looking at him imploringly and he continues to play with the vibe on my clit. Then I feel his fingers slide down to my hole where he plays a bit before sliding them in to play with my g-spot. I think I managed to hold back asking to come, but finally he tells me, “Come.” Oh my god, I thought my head was going to explode off my shoulders. I had a fantastic series of orgasms - mind blowing orgasms. I just kept coming and coming and coming until he removed his fingers and told me to stop. Spent, I curled up to his chest afterwards for a much needed cuddle. He told me that he would have let me come longer had I not been so loud. After all, it was election day and the kids in his apartment building were bound to be home from school. I thanked him for the orgasms.

Next, I rode his cock, rocking back and forth on top of him, the head of his cock hitting just the right spot inside, over and over. I moaned and rode the edge, rocking my hips. Again I held back from coming, desperately wanting him to give me permission. Again, he gave permission (how lucky I felt!) and I had more orgasms, giving me the energy to frenetically ride him. I found energy and stamina I never knew I had. I squirted on him a little bit and rode him until I was exhausted and had to fall forward, cuddling him. Again, I thanked him for letting me come another time, again really hard.

He fucked me from behind and I couldn’t hold back asking for permission to come this time. I begged, wondering if I’d be so lucky as to be granted permission three times in one day. He must have been feeling really generous as he did, and as I came his cock was pushed out. He held onto my hips and I continued coming, spasming, gasping, writhing in orgasm while he simply held onto me. It really is amazing how he’s gotten me to the point where I will continue coming even without direct genital stimulus. It helps to hear his voice when I come, telling me to come, telling me I’m a good girl. I collapsed on the bed. As we cuddled he asked me, “Are you a lucky girl.”

“Yes, Sir, I’m a lucky girl.”

“Are you a very lucky girl?” I didn’t catch the “very” the first time he said it so when I didn’t respond exactly in kind he repeated it.

“Yes, Sir, I’m a very lucky girl.” This became the theme for the rest of the day, with him asking if I’m a lucky girl, and me responding that I am, indeed, a very lucky girl. I was exhausted. (I thought I was going to sleep really well last night, but alas I had a hard time falling asleep as usual. *sigh*)

A little bit later we were in the bedroom again. He hadn’t come so he had me suck his cock, stroke it and eventually play with his ass as he stroked himself while watching porn. I played with his ass, kneading, stroking the cheeks, getting my fingers right up inside near the asshole. He asked me after a bit if I was tired, and I had to admit that I was (getting between the gluteal muscles can be really tiring on fingers and forearm muscles, sadly). I had played with his ass a bit earlier so they were already a bit tired out. (Anyone have suggestions on exercises to strengthen those muscles?) Since I was tired, and he’s very good to me, he had me lay behind him, stroking his back. My arms were still tired but I didn’t complain as I wanted to help him reach orgasm. After he came, he had me play with his ass just a little bit more and I stroked and kneaded again. He came all over the sheets and I was told to change the sheets and pillow cases before I left.

Tonight I masturbated, thinking about how I begged him with my eyes for permission to come. I rode the edge, humping my Pleasure Tops (still not enough to get me off by itself) and using my bullet vibe. I watched some bdsm porn where a woman who was tied up got flogged and fucked with a butt plug up her ass. My cunt got swollen and engorged as I rubbed the bullet against my clit. I moaned as I neared the edge and finally I let myself come by imagining MasterDoc saying to me, “Come.”

Our Version of a Quiet Night In

Published
by
Nadia
on September 27, 2008
in D/s, bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, pillow princess, porn, sex and spanking
. 1 Comment

MasterDoc and I had a quiet night in last night. But of course if you read this blog regularly you’ll know that a quiet night in for us isn’t necessarily boring. We went out to dinner (the first time in over a year of dating), shared a huge strawberry daiquiri (yum) and then went back to his place. A great way to end a long, busy week. At his place he tells me that he’s in the mood to come that night, and that the focus is going to be on him. I’m really horny so I’m hoping that in the midst of things he’ll decide to fuck me after all, but I had my collar on by this point so I didn’t say a thing, I just focused on what he wanted.

He put porn on the tv and the computer. I was getting hornier and hornier watching the porn. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin if I didn’t get touched soon. He had me get the lube and stroke his cock. Being so horny, I really focused on what I was doing and the reaction I got out of him. I apparently came very close to making him come. I was very into touching him and making him feel good last night.

He had me suck his cock for a while, but then had me stop as he got distracted with a phone call. At one point he told me to lube up my asshole, as he was going to fuck my ass. I got excited but it was mostly just a tease. He told me to play with myself, and I was already really wet. I ached to come. Then he decided that, yes, he was going to fuck me and asked me if I had a preference which hole. I said I didn’t have a preference and he decided to fuck my pussy. I got on my knees on the mat on the floor. (My knee is still sore from my fall last week. But it’s better than it was and so it was to the point where I could just think of it as a bdsm-related pain as he fucked me.)

He fucked me for a while, getting me more and more turned on. He fucked me fairly hard and it was so hard to hold back from coming. I begged for orgasm a couple of times, and he told me that I would be in trouble if I asked again. The agony! I so desperately wanted to come but wasn’t allowed to even ask. I struggled for a while, trying not to say anything, just moaning with pleasure as he fucked me. I had to try to divert my attention away from what he was doing to me, so I wouldn’t go over the edge and come. It felt so amazing. Finally, in a frenzy, I moaned out, “Please.” He slapped my ass really hard several times. I was in trouble for giving in and asking. I had tried so hard but I just couldn’t help myself, it felt so amazing. He gets me at such a high state of arousal I can’t help myself; I’m delirious from being touched.

He fucked me for a little longer. I whimpered as that was all I could do since I couldn’t beg. He eventually pushes me away and I fall forward onto the mat. I thought that was it for now, but after a few brief moments he comes up to me, spanks my ass and grabs my hair. “Come, cunt.” And it takes me a few seconds to get there but simply from being aroused, and having him hit my ass and grab me roughly by the hair, I have the most amazing orgasm. No genital stimulation at all at that point. He handles me roughly and holds me close as I have orgasm after orgasm. I clutched at the mat I lay on, and didn’t let go until a few minutes after he had finished with me. He later said that he hadn’t planned to let me come since I had been bad, but he felt pity on me as I lay on the floor. I am such a lucky girl. Really, he is so good to me. In the end, he didn’t end up coming, which I was a little sad about as I really wanted to get him off. (Perhaps I’m learning to be less selfish and less of a pillow princess.)

He had me get dressed and go to his car to get the Sex and the City movie he rented. We watched the movie on the sofa (the quiet night in part of the night) and cuddled a bit. It’s definitely a chick flick, and perhaps a bit sappy, but I was in a romantic mood last night so I got sucked right in.

I only got an evening and a morning with him this week, and I wish I had more time with him, but I’m trying to be a good girl and not give him a hard time about it at all. I will just have to be patient until the next time I get to see him.