Archive for the 'anal' Category

Friday Afternoon

Published
by
Nadia
on December 21, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, anal and sex
. 0 Comments

On Friday I felt much better, and just in time to spend a day with MasterDoc. For a while it looked like maybe I wasn’t going to get some sex. He kept saying things like, well are you sure you’re feeling well enough? I kept hoping and hoping. Luckily, he started looking for porn on the internet, a sure sign that sex is on the way. He had me put my collar on.

We went to the bedroom and he had me take my clothes off. I lay behind him, playing with his ass while he watched the porn. (I was so focused on what I was doing that I don’t think I could tell you what type of porn it was.) After a while he said he wanted me to use both my hands on his ass, and he got up on his hands and knees so I could get a better reach. And I must be getting better at massaging his ass as he said it felt really good and that I have to do that again. I pressed the back of a finger up against his asshole. That seemed to elicit a great response. I got into the massage, the positive feedback just made me want to do it more and better. All went well until I discovered a little bit of shit on my finger. Yes. Well. I told him what was going on and he said, “How did you let me get out of the bath without taking care of that?” But the fact is he probably took a shit sometime after his bath. I didn’t freak out, I think that’s a sure sign you’re devoted to someone - when you find yourself with their shit on your hand and you calmly say, “Well, um, I’m gonna go wash my hand now.” Of course MasterDoc had to torture me with jokes about, “What you’re not going to lick it off?” Ew ew ew. Thankfully, I know he’s not into scat. That’s something I just wouldn’t be able to handle. So I washed my hands thoroughly and he washed his ass in the tub. He’s a considerate Dom.

Everything clean, we went back to bed. I wish I had had time to write this yesterday because my memory is fuzzy at this point. I know we fooled around more. I sucked his cock for a while. He gave me pointers as always as to things I should be doing. It’s funny how if in a vanilla situation you sit there and tell your partner exactly what to do to get you off, it’s kinda annoying, but when you’re a sub and your Dom tells you precisely what he wants it’s hot. Latest thing for me to remember - change positions. It’s hard to get good neck rotation, so the same spot ends up being stimulated, but if I would change position part way through without him telling me then I could adjust where he’s being stimulated. I will remember that for the future.

He fucked me while I was on hands and knees. As usual he teased me, getting me close to orgasm. I begged as always for release. No matter how many times we do this whole orgasm denial thing it still gets me totally hot and in a frenzy. I can’t get enough of it. It feels so amazingly good. He spanked my ass a bit and I begged some more. Eventually, he let me come and I screamed, panted and fell forward a bit, my face into the mattress. He’s gotten good at not letting my vaginal muscles push his cock out while I come. Eventually, they did do their thing and he had me lay forward and catch my breath. I was in this delightful subspace, dazed and happy. He got a phone call then, it was Liz with a problem with her flight home for the holidays. It was hard to be pulled out of subspace so quickly. I would have loved time to come down. But on the other hand a friend was in crisis so what can you do? I tried to relax as he dealt with her on the phone.

After things were settled, he had me get on top and ride his cock. It’s amazing how I find stamina when I’m on top. Normally I’m so out of shape that any physical activity gets me tired in no time. But when it comes to sex, I find stamina. I slid myself up and down on his hard cock. I moaned and panted, he would thrust his hips up towards me, getting in deeper. When he gave me permission to come, he stroked my body, he knows just the right spots to touch me to make it more intense. I fell forward and cuddled with him for a while. The phone rang again, and as he spoke on the phone I motioned to him, asking if I could get off his cock (I don’t do that without his say so). He indicated this was fine so I got up and got some water.

I’m disappointed that this account doesn’t really convey how hot it was. I got very much into subspace and it was delightful. It’s like being on drugs without the drugs. I feel dazed after we stop and totally blissful.

Review: Babeland Anal Beads

Published
by
Nadia
on December 10, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, blow jobs, orgasm on command and reviews
. 0 Comments

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I suppose this won’t be a regular review but instead a story of how I spent my afternoon. I was feeling horny, MasterDoc was feeling tired, but he did feel a bit like beating me. I wasn’t sure if he was going to feel up for it though. We cuddled in bed for a while before he said, “Get the lube, anal beads, your collar and the nea.” Yes, Sir!

I’ve had the beads for a little while now, but they’ve been hanging about unused. I could have used them by myself but isn’t it much more fun to use such a thing with a lover? I was getting antsy to use them (just like the underbed restraints) since I’m super conscientious about getting my reviews done. But of course I had to wait until MasterDoc felt like using them. The restraints wait to be tested (but PantheraPardus reviewed them well, so I’m keen to use ‘em) but the anal beads have now been used.

He didn’t lead off with them, he played with the nea on my nipples a little bit. Then he grabbed the beads and an idea came to him - use it as a whip. Yikes. That thing fucking stings on your breasts. A short while later, I found out that it stings like a motherfucker on your ass as well. Babeland, I wish you had told me that it had a dual use! Now MasterDoc has another impact toy to torture me with. (I kinda hate it but kinda don’t mind it at the same time. Masochism is a funny thing.)

He spanked me, paddled me, whipped me with the beads. My ass was sore and I’m sure red. Then he tells me to use the nea on myself as he goes off into the next room. He gets the floggers and starts whipping my ass. Pain, pain, pain. I think the beads left me more sensitive because they stung so much. He had me raise my front end up a bit, so that my back was further up, and he went to town flogging my upper back. Thankfully he didn’t use the beads on my upper back.

I got quite a spanking. When my knees got tired, he had me lay on my back. “Look at me,” he said and I looked him in the eye as he flogged my thighs. He slapped them a bit, which actually hurt worse than the flogger. He had me put my arms over my head so he could flog my breasts. The flogger stung when he would happen to hit a nipple. He had me get up on my knees again.

Oh, um, I was going to talk about anal beads wasn’t I? I’m getting to that.

He lubes up my asshole and starts to insert the beads. The very end is really tiny and feels like a tickle, but the beads gradually get larger and he had to push gently to get the larger ones in. Since the thing is about a foot long, I imagined not all of it going in, but MasterDoc assures me that it all went in. He jiggled them a bit, slid them out, slid them back in again. At times it felt like the bigger beads were too much. But then it would feel absolutely divine. When in motion it stimulated my ass, when stationary I felt filled. (The beads are thermo plastic rubber, which apparently has no phthalates. They were easy to clean. I assume since Babeland is selling them that the material won’t harbor bacteria like the plastic toys of old.)

He removed them. I was really wet by this time from the spanking and beads. He had me suck his cock for a while to get it nice and hard. I was told that if I got it nice and hard that maybe he’d fuck me with it. Rowr. I had been hoping for that all day. I got it hard and he had me put the condom on and get on top. I rode him, him thrusting up into me. I was moaning and gasping, nearly to the point of asking for permission to come when he says that delightful word to me, “Come.” I came and came, he spanked me, twisted my nipples and other delightfully awful things to me as I came. I came again. Finally, he said, “That’s enough for you young lady.” I sat on his cock for a little while, brushed the hair out of my face and stroked his chest.

As we lay next to each other after, he asked me if I’m a lucky girl. I responded with the “correct” response, “Yes, Sir, I am a very lucky girl.” He chuckled and said that he should ask that again when I didn’t have the collar on. He did ask me and I gave the same response, he seemed satisfied by that. It’s funny how during a spanking it hurts like the dickens, but after the after-spanking sex I’m just so happy that the pain totally fades away. Ah, orgasms and endorphins. Gotta love ‘em.

Rough Beating

Published
by
Nadia
on November 23, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, orgasm on command, porn, sex, spanking and submissive
. 0 Comments

We were supposed to go out to a gang bang with S. last night. I was looking forward to the possibility of MasterDoc lining up a few men to fuck me. It was a marked difference in my mood from the night before. Alas, we realized too late that we didn’t have the location of the party. Doh! S. came over for dinner but went home afterward. I was worried it would be a really quiet night in. MasterDoc was watching a basketball game, but I was horny. So when I got my hands on his laptop I quickly pulled up some porn. Oh yes, I was trying to put ideas in his head.

I went for the bdsm flicks, searching for submissive porn on tnaflix.com. As I watched, he started looking over my shoulder, watching along with me. Soon it was clear that he was turned on and my hopefulness at getting some grew.  We take the laptop, with the porn running, into the bedroom. The porn is rough and I’m enjoying it. He has me play with myself with the magic wand. I stare transfixed at the computer screen. He asks me if I’m ready to come, and as usual when he does that my hopes go up and I get right to the edge of orgasm. He has me trained so well. But no, he just teases me with the idea of it and doesn’t give me permission. I’m moaning, aching to come, but no luck.

He has me get on hands and knees so he can fuck me. He fucks me for a while, keeping me right on the edge of orgasm. It seems like he fucks me forever because I’m desperate to come and he keeps denying me permission to come. Over and over he has me begging, swooning, dying for more. He has me play with the magic wand on my clit while he fucks me, and this just keeps me so close to the edge. He starts to spank my ass a little. Finally, I hear that one word I’ve been dying to hear - “Come.” I turn into a panting mess in just a second. I feel like I just want to come forever and ever. I don’t want to stop.

He tells me that that’s enough and we lay down on the bed next to each other. He has me suck his cock for a while and I gobble it up, trying my hardest to get it down my throat without gagging. I practice riding through the feeling of my gag reflex switching on. I struggle to keep the heaving at bay. I think I did better at it than I usually do, but I still need lots of work.

He then decides that I need a good spanking since I won’t be seeing him for a while (over a week *sigh*). He has me get the leather slapper and the large wooden ping-pong paddle. Yikes. Two rough toys. I know I’m in store for quite a beating.

He spanks me really hard; I mean really hard. Hard with his hands, hard with the paddle, hard with the strap. Sometimes the pain is so much I can’t catch my breath but then other times it slides into feeling good or feeling like he’s not touching me at all. It was the strangest sensation when the blows would cease to hurt. I think I hit an endorphin rush quite quickly. I was sure I’d have bruises the next day, but no luck. He has me play with the magic wand on myself while spanking me. I’m on the edge of coming, so desperate. He keeps withholding permission - he really held back with permission last night and it was driving me crazy. Finally, while he’s hitting me, he tells me to come. I come, shuddering and I fall forward, he keeps hitting me. By this time the magic wand has fallen out of my hands onto the bed. I keep coming, this time from the pain of his spanking me. I come over and over again. I finish one orgasm and start another due purely to the feel of his hands striking my ass. He runs his hands over my body, up to my hair to grab it for a second, around me to touch the sensitive area where hip meets thigh. He knows that everything he’s doing will just prolong the ecstasy. Again, I feel like I could come forever. I want more, more more. I can’t believe how hard I’m coming and how long I’m coming for. It’s amazing to me how he can strike me, or just run his hands along my body and make me come.

After, my butt is so red he gets our friend Liz from the next room to take a look and she takes a photo with her iPhone. (He has a very peculiar household.) My butt is still sore today, but there are no bruises. I just seem to mysteriously not bruise these days. MasterDoc says he will just have to hit me harder. Yikes. He was hitting me pretty damn hard last night!

His birthday is coming up this week, and I got him a toy for his birthday. (What does one perv get another perv for their birthday? A sex toy!) I know he enjoys anal stimulation and the just night before I was telling him how hot that is - that he’s a straight man who fully enjoys anal play. So many straight guys are uptight about you playing with their ass, but with MasterDoc as my Dom I’ve had many lessons about pleasing him by playing with his ass.  So the pandora is designed to stimulate his prostate and it vibrates too! I have a hard time getting it in properly so he takes a while to show me what I’m doing wrong. I like the feeling of being taught how to please him, by this time I’ve learned a lot and I wonder if I’d be any good at pleasing another guy now since I’ve been so focused on MasterDoc’s little nuances. So I hold the pandora in and angle it so the curved end is hitting his prostate (or heading in the direction of his prostate anyway, I think). He jerks off, watching porn while I play with his ass. Eventually he comes really hard and it’s wonderful to watch. As he comes, he tells me to come if I can and my god I actually do! I actually came when he hadn’t touched me in quite some time. His voice just does me in. I really wonder if anyone else in the world could make me feel the way he does.

I squirted while he spanked me

Published
by
Nadia
on November 13, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, flogging, masochism, spanking and squirting
. 0 Comments

In keeping with the naughty vacation theme, MasterDoc and I went out to a swing club last night. As usual that man did amazing things with my body. We brought along the three things I’ve gotten in to review from Babeland - Sliquid anal lube (”sassy booty formula”), Fukoku 9000 and underbed restraints. We only used two out of the three. I think those two need more road testing before I give a review.

I had been going on for over a day now about how I really felt like making out. We don’t do a lot of it, and MasterDoc has apparently been told that relative to his other skills, he’s not as talented at it. But opinions vary from person to person and I think he does a fine job. I like having his tongue in my mouth. It is hot feeling it slide along my tongue, feeling him suck first one lip, then the other into his mouth. I got hot before we even did much of anything - in the car on the way there I was wearing my collar and I worked on getting into the submissive mindset. And just the simple act of wearing it and thinking like that made my pussy feel all tingly and hot. Then, when we settled into the club, we made out a bit and I was all squirmy and hot. He had me suck his cock for a while and I did my best, sucking, licking, making him twitch a little. Random single guys came in to watch. The only other couple there played a little, the woman sucking the man’s cock but they soon headed out of the room.

The bartender was all happy when we came in, because she knows that we create fun regardless of whatever else is going on that night. After I had been sucking MasterDoc’s cock for a while and we had been making out (I’m a happy girl!) the bartender came in back on her break, and she started demanding to see some naked woman. She piped up a few times, and then MasterDoc said to me, “Go stand in front of her and take off your clothes.” Now for some women this would be difficult, but the exhibitionist in me had no problem going over and getting naked in front of the lovely bartender and the men that crowded around her on the bed. She asked if she could play with my tits and MasterDoc said yes, so I had her sucking and nibbling on my nipples. She bit a little hard but was smart enough not to do so repeatedly. (They get sensitive when stimulated repeatedly.)

The bartender was eager to see more, and MasterDoc had me get on the spanking bench. He spanked me with this little paddle, which is actually an emory board for smoothing skin on your feet. So it’s small but has a rough texture. It’s very slappy and I suppose comes in handy to keep his hands from getting tired. My pain tolerance was pretty decent and I was mostly turned on by the impact of the paddle on my ass. It’s a little harder to take when it’s on my thighs, however. I whimpered from time to time from the pain, but mostly I enjoyed the spanking. He took the little (stingy) flogger and beat my ass for a while, again it hurt but it hurt in such a good way. He would feel my pussy every now and then to see if I was wet, and apparently I was quite wet. (I’m not surprised.)

He stopped for a bit and had me suck his cock. I love it when he spurs me on saying, “Suck it, bitch.” After a few moments he told me that was enough, and he went back to flogging my ass. He took the little flogger and beat my upper back, which is more painful than the ass. It was such a nice beating - just the right amount of impact to put me into a lovely headspace. After he had beat me for a while, and quite thoroughly, he told me to wet his fingers. I licked them, trying to get them as moist as possible, I knew they were going into my pussy.

He fingered me, and in no time I was ready to come. I moaned and hoped that he would let me come soon, but I think I held back pretty well on begging. He let me come, and I immediately went into spasm and deep, guttural moans. He fingered for a while, then took his fingers out and started spanking me. THAT was when I started squirting. I squirted all over the spanking bench as I came while he hit me. It still amazes me when he does that - just hurting me will get me to come. Rowr. His hands on my body do wondrous things.

We took a break after; I got dressed again. I got a towel and mopped up the squirted mess I left on the bench and the floor. We hung out in the lounge area for a bit, having sodas and sharing a muffin from the snack table. (Most things there are stale as anything, but the muffins were actually pretty fresh and good.) I was feeling like a very happy, satisfied girl, and yet I was eager to try out the anal lube. Luckily, he was up for it so he had me take my pants off (left my shirt and bra on) and kneel on the other couch, facing the big screen of porn behind it. He told me to get myself on the edge of coming with the bullet vibe and he came over to fuck me up the ass. He had me lube myself up before I got kneeling. I’ll want to use the lube again, but preliminary tests indicate it’s very slippery, not sticky, and seems to last well.

Unfortunately, the bullet vibe chose that point in time to die on me (batteries). But I had the Fukuoku, which I was eager to try out, so I got that out of the bag and put it to my clit. It’s nice but so far my impression is that it’s not nearly as good as the bullet or nea. Still it was nice to have something to press against my clit while he fucked me up the ass. He slid it in and I moaned, my ass felt tight last night. There’s something so decadent and naughty about being fucked up the ass in public. I couldn’t see how many people were watching but we were right in the lounge area by the front door. I asked for permission to come and he let me. Even though he was fucking my ass, my internal muscles contracted and pushed his cock out. He spanked me as I continued to come. We had put a towel down on the leather couch beforehand, but I didn’t squirt again.

We got dressed and sat down to rest again. I was in this dazed, subspace sort of headspace. I felt positively blissful. We shared another muffin and the food helped bring me back to earth.

While we relaxed this couple came in. The guy was really friendly, the woman much less so. The guy was a handsome African-American guy, in good shape, and the woman was a sultry Italian-American woman with a very slim figure in a short dress and thigh high white stockings with white to-the-knee boots. She’s not quite my type (I prefer curvy) but she could certainly have a career in porn if she wanted (if she doesn’t have it already). I say this because the two of them started fucking and sucking in the lounge area and the owner of the club took pictures of the whole thing (obviously with their permission). It was hot to watch a photo shoot go on in front of us, and I knew that MasterDoc was interested in playing with them (I wasn’t into the woman but even though my preference is usually for white, hispanic or Indian guys I was digging the black guy). They didn’t really seem like they were looking to play with anyone else, however. And as it was getting late we ended up going home. We made a stop for our usual bagel run on the west side and shared a warm poppyseed bagel on the ride home. Now that is what I call a good night.

Untitled

Published
by
Nadia
on October 28, 2008
in Uncategorized, anal, orgasm on command, poly, random thoughts and sex
. 1 Comment

This entry is kinda random and I couldn’t come up with a title.

I got to see MasterDoc again on Sunday evening. My depression is still lingering although being around him helped cheer me up some. Again, he gave me lots of lovely orgasms, which helped my mood. We fucked with me on top and after I had gotten myself on the edge of orgasm, but before I broke down and begged to come, he told me to come. I came and my body convulsed with pleasure. After my vaginal muscles pushed his cock out I kept coming and spasming. He held me close to him and slapped my ass a bit and I just kept right on coming. It is absolutely amazing what he can do to me.

He had me get the archer wand and my bullet vibe. I rubbed the vibe against my clit as he slid the cool glass along the opening to my cunt. He gently slid the bulbous end into me. I could feel it against my g-spot as he jiggled it in and out. Before long I was moaning and desperate to come. He gave me the command, and I came long and hard. I had to try to stifle my screams as it was late but it was so hard to quiet down. I was lost in multiple amazing orgasms. He’s very good to me.

He fucked me some more from behind, then he lubed up my asshole and played with it while he fucked me. He planned to fuck me up the ass but somehow he couldn’t get the right spot. He pushed against me but it wouldn’t go in. It felt like he was just slightly off from the opening. I’m a little sore from the pushing. He decided it wasn’t worth the effort since it wasn’t going in easily. He apologized for the soreness when I told him about it last night. With him there’s definitely a difference between intentional pain and unintentional pain.

I have such a peculiar life. I’ve been spending about three nights a week at MasterDoc’s lately. I feel very much at home in his place, and of course I feel at home in my actual home. I spend nearly as much time at his place as I do at home. This poly thing is certainly different - different men, different nights, different abodes. I regularly pack an overnight bag, and I go to work from different places on a regular basis. I’m not complaining one bit, as I’m very happy. But it’s definitely unconventional and I realize that. It’s a strange life to be living out of a backpack a few nights a week. I’ve kept toiletries at MasterDoc’s for a while now, so I don’t have to pack everything I need every time I go over there. It feels like a second home. I don’t know how he’s going to react to me saying that, as recently I accidentally referred to going to his place after work as “going home” and he was a bit taken aback by that. (Quite honestly, any place I’m staying/going to after work can be referred to as “home.” It’s like work and home are opposites. If I’m not at work, then I’m at “home.”) I certainly do feel at home at his place, but I never forget that it’s not my actual home. My home is where my stuff is, and where I pay rent, and where I share life with Davey. But it’s kinda nice to feel at home at two places, just like it’s nice to feel loved by two men. I like this poly thing.

Early Experiences, Part 1

Published
by
Nadia
on October 17, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, dating, masturbation and spanking
. 2 Comments

I recently asked readers for questions or topics they’d like to see covered here. One that came up was the idea of my experiences before MasterDoc. I certainly had plenty of sexual experiences before him, but he’s my first actual Dom. I dabbled in bdsm prior to meeting him, and knew for a while that I’d like to find a Dom (but found that so many of them on collarme were full of themselves). My first bdsm experiences go back, well actually they go way back to my teen years. Now, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned here before that I was a virgin until my 18th birthday. I didn’t even kiss a boy until I was 17 and a half. So what experiences did I have in my teens you may ask? I would play with bondage and blindfolds when I masturbated. I’d tie my wrists together as best I could and then masturbate with my hands bound. It’s not easy doing self-bondage and you have to leave it fairly loose so you can get yourself out of it, but I still got a little thrill from doing it. I knew even then that it was something I wanted to try one day when I had a partner. I kept things like old bathrobe sashes that I could use to tie myself up with.

My first boyfriend and I played around a bit, I think I’ve written about that on here. We tried a little bondage, a little spanking, some power exchange role play (both of us switching). I loved being on the submissive end of the power play, but the hard part was that he did too. We didn’t get deeply into anything, but we played around with lots of experiences - real and fantasy. We played around once that we were total strangers who met at a bar and went home with each other and fucked. I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near an experience like that in real life at that age (a good thing, I’m sure) but I was curious to try new things and have varied experiences. First boyfriend and I would spend a lot of time trying to come up with stuff we’d never tried before (and it was all new) and then doing it. We weren’t successful with anal sex - I didn’t accomplish that til much later. And since he was a boy he couldn’t help me with the whole bisexual experience. (I was open with him about my desires. I later found out in a round about way that he had those sorts of desires too, but he was never open with me about them. Oh except for how he’d say that if he was gay he’d be into Patrick Swayze. Even then I kinda knew the translation was that he was into Patrick Swayze.) I eventually slept with a woman when I was 28. (That’s a little tale in and of itself.)

My sexual experiences in college were pretty standard, vanilla fare. I don’t recall doing any bdsm play during college. I can’t recall when I took up with the married guy (senior year? after college?), but I did play a little with a married guy I slept with off and on for a few years. Nothing much, just a little light Dom/sub type stuff. That was ultimately a situation that I was better out of. When I first met him he claimed to be separated from his wife, then he admitted to still being with her, then he went ahead and had another kid with her even though he’d bitch to me about how unhappy he was. Finally, just when things were winding down between us, his wife called me at work and confronted me. Whew. Not fun. That was the end of the married guy in my life. I’ve twice made the mistake of fucking cheating men, and ultimately neither situation was satisfying. I now have a rule that the spouse absolutely has to know about me or I won’t get into the situation (or won’t stay in it if I find out later that he’s lying).

As a young adult, after college, I still mostly had a vanilla sex life. There would be some light spanking or bondage with various boyfriends, but nothing that was truly a Dom/sub situation. I very briefly dated a guy who was into bdsm, but I had a long distance relationship with an Englishman then and the bdsm guy wasn’t keen on being with a woman whose heart was with someone else. Still, we had a couple of dates, we went to a movie and he fed me popcorn at the rate he decided and I struggled to keep up. I think he had me suck his fingers in the movie theater as well - a full theater I might add. He took the back of my head and lowered my mouth onto his thumb. I remember him feeling me up in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We went to his place once and we played a little. He put nipple clamps on me for the first time, spanked me, etc. It was something I definitely enjoyed, although it might have been better with someone I had a connection with. He Dom-ed me over the phone a few times, and I remember being so turned on as I took my clothes off at home as his command and played with myself. He bought me a copy of The Story of O, which I still have.

I guess light bondage or spanking entered into many of my relationships, but not on the level I would have liked. I’d go through phases where I wasn’t as into kink, but I’d always come back to it inevitably. I think ultimately I’m more turned on by kinky sex than I am by vanilla sex, but I do enjoy vanilla sex. Finding a Dom has fulfilled a part of me that always yearned to be fulfilled. Eventually I hooked up with the couple I played with, and I would do bdsm play with them off and on for a few years. Details on that are for part two.

Beating Depression

Published
by
Nadia
on October 12, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, depression, flogging, masochism, mental illness, orgasm denial, sex, spanking and submissive
. 1 Comment

I’m prone to depression, have been since I was young. These days, I’m happy most of the time - I have the proper medication and feel on an even keel usually. But on Friday night I hit a rough patch and was severely depressed. I have no idea what brought it on but I had been feeling very anxious earlier in the day. It could be thanks to a change in medication, could just be hormonal. Whatever it was, I was seriously depressed. I spent the better part of two hours crying, not knowing why I was crying. I was a mess. MasterDoc hugged me and was wonderful to me, but he wasn’t feeling well himself so he wasn’t up to beating me. I know it sounds strange, but the two of us knew that was something that would turn my mood around. I got up the next morning and went to work, still feeling wretched.

I went back to MasterDoc’s that night after work and picked up some ice cream on the way. Yup, I was looking to self-medicate. Thankfully, MasterDoc felt better and he decided that we would spend the evening in and a beating would ensue since I was feeling so bad. We had ice cream, then dinner, then he had me put my collar on and get on my knees by a chair in the living room. He had me put the blindfold on and he sat in the chair in front of me. He put clothespins on my nipples and flicked the clothespins with his fingers. He had me bend over the chair. Using his hands and other implements he really beat on my ass. My pain tolerance was good and so the sensation mostly felt soothing and good. Yes, I know I’m a strange girl. It’s amazing how wonderful pain can make me feel. It’s counter-intuitive to react that way but it’s just how I am. He beat me for a while, even taking the heavy flogger to my upper back for a bit. It’s a bit like meditation to be beaten - you get into this other mental state, which is usually referred to as subspace. He was fairly rough with me, but I felt better and better as the beating went on.

He gave me the magic wand and had me use it on myself. I was so turned on from the beating. I kept pressing the vibrating wand into my clit. I asked for permission to come, but he didn’t let me right away. He kept beating me, sometimes it really hurt, but most of the time it was cathartic. My arousal grew as I continued to use the vibrator on myself. He finally gave me permission to come, and oh my god did I come hard and long. I felt like I could just keep coming forever. He gave me some lashes with the whip end of my slapper while I came - it’s really something else what I can take during orgasm. Pain that is usually too much is bearable somehow. Between the orgasm and the beating, I felt so much better afterwards. It’s like a miracle cure for my depression. I suppose it’s the endorphins that are released, but whatever it is, it works.

We hung out for a little while, watching tv and whatnot and he had me take my collar off. I felt subdued. A little while later he put some porn on we watched for a while. I felt entranced by the kinkiness going on. He told me to get myself warmed up, that he was going to fuck me. I used the little red vibrator on my clit and was hot and bothered again in no time. Despite not having the collar on, I felt like it was appropriate to call him Sir and so I did throughout the scene. We went to the bedroom and he fucked me while I lay on my back. I tried to hold off on asking for an orgasm, but eventually I gave in. He didn’t let me come then, and afterward he asked me to take even longer next time before asking permission. It’s so hard not to ask for permission, I get so incredibly worked up and on the verge of orgasm. Sometimes it feels like I won’t be able to hold back, but so far I’ve always managed to have enough self-control. I worry that someday I’ll slip. He finished fucking me and we cuddled a bit.

He had me lay on my side and he tried to enter me from behind. The angle wasn’t right so he said he guessed that he would just have to fuck me up the ass then. He had me lube up my ass to get it ready. It took some work to slide his cock in, the angle just wasn’t very good. I complained about the angle but he didn’t stop. It was uncomfortable, but his continuing on despite this got me so hot. I really do think I’m a bit wacko as pain can make me feel so good. In another context I’d have felt traumatized or violated, but with him I got wildly turned on and when he told me to come I came. Rowr. Very hot butt sex. Mind you, with someone else I might not have reacted so well. I think it makes a huge difference that I know he knows what he’s doing, and he wouldn’t truly hurt me - not in a bad way.

I snuggled up to his chest, but I was feeling really lusty so I started to caress his chest and lick it. He stroked his cock while I did this and I kept it up, feeling oh so passionate and sexual. He was breathing heavy and I did my best to make him feel good. When he came, he came all over my tummy. It was gooey. I was eager to take a shower at that point, but he said for that I would have to stay with his come on me. While it was gooey I was longing for a shower, but once it dried I kinda liked being a dirty girl with his come on me. In the end I slept with it on me and showered in the morning. Did I mention that by this point my depression was completely gone? I’m feeling much better, although I do feel like I could go for another beating. MasterDoc called me a greedy girl when I mentioned that.

Catching Up

Published
by
Nadia
on October 4, 2008
in D/s, anal, blow jobs, exhibitionism, orgasm denial, sex, slut and swinging
. 2 Comments

Hi all. I’ve been quiet this week because it’s been a busy week. I’ve been kept busy at work, and I’ve spent a few nights at MasterDoc’s and away from my computer. That doesn’t mean I haven’t had some fun, however. Tuesday night was a quiet night with MasterDoc - we do have evenings of just hanging out from time to time. Wednesday night we got naked and had some fun. I really should blog things right after they happen because details quickly become fuzzy.

He used a variety of toys on me, getting me worked up. I was hoping he’d try the archer wand, but that ended up saved for Friday night. Like I said, the details of Wednesday night are a bit fuzzy. I gave him a hand job for a while (surprisingly I didn’t go down on him at all that night, which is highly unusual). I’m pleased to say my handjob skills seem to be generally improving. It’s amazing what a few bits of direction from a Dom can do for your know-how. He fucked me, and kept me right on the edge for quite a while, or at least it felt like quite a while. When he finally allowed me to come, I came, but not as hard as I would have if he had given me permission right at the peak of my arousal. He seemed disappointed that he missed the peak, as he knows my body so well.

He had me play with this cock and ass, and had me insert a toy into him for the very first time (very first time with me, that is). It was a wand that’s curved, so it worked well to hit his prostrate on the inside. It’s fun to watch the expressions on a man’s face as he gets off. I commented a couple of weeks ago about how it’s fun to watch a woman, but I really do enjoy watching a man as well. We kept playing until he came. (Actually I kept going with the toy even after, as I’ve learned that he doesn’t want stimulation to suddenly end when he’s come, but rather to continue a little after. I keep going until he tells me to stop.)

Last night, we went out to a swing club. It was really dead when we got there, so it was a while before we got down to playing. We took some time for cuddles. (Yes, this is probably disappointing to the people who wander into the room hoping to see sex, and there we are, fully clothed, cuddling. I needed some cuddles last night though.) I had a couple of drinks and felt generally better after the cuddling and the drinks. (I had been feeling kinda down.)

After things began to pick up, we went to the back room where we had cuddled, and MasterDoc had me suck his cock. I got it nice and hard and he told me to sit back so he could reach my cunt. I used the nea on my clit while he played around with me. He had a guy (one who I had fucked before but didn’t immediately recognize. Oh yes, I’m a big slut!) play with my tits in the meanwhile. Then he used the archer wand on me. Rowr. I think it’s even more fun when someone else is using it on you. I find that with penetration play I enjoy it more when someone else is doing the playing, whereas with clit play I prefer doing it myself much of the time. The big, bulbous end of the wand nudged against my g-spot. I so wanted to come. I was a horny mass of sluttiness at that point. So when he asked me if I wanted to get fucked, really wanted it, I just had to moan out that yes, yes, I really wanted to get fucked.

He put me on hands and knees and fucked me from behind. We had a nice audience by this time. He had me use a vibe on my clit while he fucked me. I was really turned on and moaning and crying out, “Oh fuck!” I begged for permission to come and each time he said, “Not yet.” I was a very eager, horny slut at that point. I like being at a club because I can be loud about my enjoyment. I can moan and cry out and scream. After a while of fucking, I asked for permission again, no I begged for permission, and he gave it to me. I came hard, but didn’t manage to push his cock out, which was a nice change of pace. He had it thrust deep inside me when he gave me permission to come. The orgasm rocked my body and I screamed out how good it felt. He would grab my hair every so often. I think the audience had a nice show.

He let me lay down to rest, and I caught my breath. By this time I was laying on my back, and the guy who fucked me before offered to work his fingers in me again (I remembered who he was when it was mentioned he was the guy with magic fingers.) and MasterDoc allowed him to do so. I was laying on my back, and a crowd filled the small room. The guy would finger me deep, hitting my g-spot while MasterDoc applied pressure on the outside. I asked for permission to come at will and was given it. I came really hard, really loudly, over and over again. Next, MasterDoc took over with his fingers inside me and the other guy pressed down by my pubic bone. They took their turns playing with me and it was heavenly.

MasterDoc asked if I was ready to be fucked again. I was quite ready. He had me get on top this time and I rode his cock, rocking back and forth. I love the feel of his cock inside me. I was a little tired, but my enthusiasm gave me the wherewithal to keep fucking him until he had decided it was enough. We relaxed for a bit and the crowd dispersed a little. Soon some other people were fooling around in the corner of the room, and it was getting crowded in there again, so MasterDoc had us get dressed and we prepared to leave.

All-in-all it was a terrific night. We headed home around 1:30, so it was relatively early, but I was feeling quite satisfied. (Oh, I nearly forgot to mention, he gave me a little bit of a flogging as I held onto the chains hanging from the St. Andrew’s Cross in the bdsm room. He had let me pack what toys I wanted last night, and I left out anything stingy but I knew I would like the thuddyness of the big flogger.)

Rough Sex

Published
by
Nadia
on August 31, 2008
in D/s, anal, bdsm, orgasm on command, sex and submissive
. 0 Comments

So I got in an unexpected visit with MasterDoc this weekend, which always makes me happy. The man has to juggle so much he doesn’t always know his schedule ahead of time. I got to hang out Saturday night with him and his former roommate, Liz, who’s staying with him for a couple of days before school starts. We had dinner and watched Hellboy (don’t bother, it’s very silly and too long). But before dinner and after dinner we snuck off to his bedroom for some very hot fucking.

He had me get some porn on the computer and as I did so, put my ass in the air towards him. I felt him lube up my asshole and slide a finger in. Rowr. My body was very sensitive last night and it felt every bit as good as if he was fingering my cunt. I moaned, got breathless and totally didn’t watch the porn on the computer. I was lost in the sensation of him playing with my ass and I wanted to come in no time flat. I think he slid another finger in there as well. (Details are usually fuzzy the next day. I’ll have to start taking notes during. *wink*) He fingered my ass pretty vigorously and I begged to be allowed to come. Next he had me slide down to the edge of the bed and lay on my back. He stood at the end of the bed and slid his cock into my lubed up ass. “You want to get fucked in the ass, slut?” Oh my god yes I did. He fucked me and I totally loved it. I was feeling particularly kinky and slutty last night and luckily we were well in tune with each other. He was rough and I was totally into rough sex last night. He let me come and I came from him assfucking me.

We changed position and he was kneeling behind me as my ass was in the air. He fucked my ass some more and at one point I say, “Can I have a little more lube, Sir?”" He says, “You want more lube?” and then starts fucking me harder. Jesus Christ that sent me over the edge, I was a panting, moaning, heavy breathing mess. I was utterly and totally his to do with as he wished. I was like putty in his hands. Later he commented on how funny it was that suddenly, when he got rougher, I didn’t need lube where I had needed it just seconds earlier. The ass doesn’t lubricate itself, so what happened? Oh yes, he got rough with me and I loved it. He let me come and it turns out my anal muscles bear down during orgasm (like my vaginal muscles do) but the auto-eject isn’t quite as bad with anal sex.

We fucked for a while, next position was laying on our sides on the bed. I moaned and gasped as he fucked my ass roughly. He threw in some very hard slaps on my ass and that only served to make me hornier. He grabbed my hair and gave me permission to come. I went off into this amazing orgasm, everything was just so hot that I blurted out, “Please pull my hair!” and I came even harder when he pulled. He pulled out of me and slapped my ass, pulled my hair and I just kept coming. He was rougher with me last night during sex than I think he’s ever been and it was just the hottest thing in the world.

As we lay in bed after, he ponders whether he will be nice and have me suck his cock without the condom (that’s just been up my ass) or with it. He tells me to suck it with it. Every fiber of my being does not want to do this, but I’m very much in submissive mode so I lower my head to his cock, and thankfully he decides that my acquiescence was enough and that I can take the condom off and suck his cock without it. Hallelujah. Of course, I’m smart enough to know that just because he didn’t have me do it this time, doesn’t mean he won’t have me do it in the future.

We had dinner, watched the movie and headed off to his bedroom for a second time. He had me suck his cock, telling me to get it really clean all the way to the base as it was going to go in my cunt this time. He told me to get myself ready, and I found that I was still fairly wet from before. He got on top of me and fucked me hard, slapping my face every so often. He’d slow down the thrusting then do it really hard again as I begged to come. He’d slap my face again, grab my hair and talked dirty to me. It was so hot. Before letting me come, he asked me if I want to come while he pisses on me. I was so desperate to come at that point that I would do anything. I said yes, I want him to piss on me. He talked about taking me into the bathroom and pissing on me, then he let me come. I was relieved to not have him piss on me, but as I said with the ass condom earlier, I’m smart enough to know that just because he didn’t do it this time, doesn’t mean he’s not totally warming me up for it in the near future. But the thing is, when he gets me really worked up there’s precious little he couldn’t do to me. I will consent to just about anything his perverted little heart desires at that point - and more than likely enjoy it. Things that are totally unappealing when I’m not turned on suddenly become far less unattractive as I get aroused. Things that I’d never let another person do to me I let MasterDoc do. This whole D/s relationship thing is really intense.