Archive for the 'fisting' Category

2008 in Review

Published
by
Nadia
on January 1, 2009
in D/s, Uncategorized, assault, bdsm, best sex bloggers, caning, depression, edge play, exhibitionism, fisting, masochism, orgasm on command, pillow princess, piss play, sexuality and year in review
. 0 Comments

I didn’t have plans to do this, but I’ve seen some of my favorite bloggers post year end summaries for the past year and I decided to spend some time today reading through my entries to take a look at the year that was 2008. (I spent hours today re-reading my entries from this year. Damn, I write a lot!)

I started off the year having a great sex, albeit with the hindrance of prozac killing my libido and response. I didn’t consider myself a masochist at the start of the year, but in early February I changed that identification of myself. On the other hand, I started off the year bruising quite nicely, but now I barely bruise on my ass. I was also struggling with coming on command - not quite able to hold myself at a peak of arousal and not always able to come when permission was granted. Davey watched me get Dommed by MasterDoc and MasterDoc made me eat out of a bowl on the floor like a dog. MasterDoc and I continued doing shows for strangers.

In February I fucked a black guy for the first time in my life, and the entry was titled (at MasterDoc’s insistence) “BBC and Me.” My dose of prozac was lowered, which helped my libido and ability to come, but not by much (didn’t help my depression). MasterDoc decided we were going to lose weight together and we embarked on exercising and eating better. S. and I gave Davey a surprise threesome for his birthday.

In March I spent a lot of time reflecting on submission, what it means to me and why I do it. It’s been good to re-read those entries. I also waxed poetic about being face slapped. I suffered a bout of depression and clearly the lowered dose of prozac wasn’t adequate. It was also nearing the anniversary of the time I was sexually assaulted at a play party, and I still dwelled quite a bit on that.

In April I started off the month reflecting on why I enjoy public sex.  Davey, MasterDoc and I attempted double penetration but were unsuccessful (this is still true). I participated in sugasm for the first time. I wrote a bit about feminism and submission. We used a female condom for sex one time. I masturbated without permission and felt horribly guilty about it and confessed right away. At some point along the way I fell in love with MasterDoc. I had a challenging evening when we had a woman guest and I felt superfluous to the whole situation.

In May I proclaimed my average-ness. I started lusting after Photoshop and Dreamweaver to make my own site (I was still on blogspot at the time). And MasterDoc’s Puppy came for a visit. I had the first hint that maybe I could come without genital stimulation at some point. I purchased this domain and started trying to figure out how to get a blog up and running. I ended up going with wordpress, which I got installed for me.

My ass actually blistered a little bit after a spanking in June during one of our shows. I got called a pillow princess and reflected on my selfishness in bed, resolving to be less selfish. I discussed being assaulted three years ago at a play party and worked some more on dealing with the residual trauma from that. The swing club we frequent added a spanking bench, much to my and MasterDoc’s joy. I got swatted with a cane for the first time. I got good enough at riding the edge of orgasm that I could come when given the command (with genital stimulation).

I officially moved to kinkylibrarian.net at the start of July. (Looks like a few entries didn’t carry over when I made the switch. The old blog is still up, however.) I started talking about an interest in edge play like needle play and cutting. D.S. came for a visit and we had a very hot simultaneous orgasm. I contemplated many things like leading a double life, masochism and submission. I finally came without genital stimulation - and squirted too! I was on wellbutrin (in addition to prozac) for a little while by this time, and my sex drive had fully returned. I talked a little about early D/s experiences. I despaired over being denied orgasm, but was thrilled to have MasterDoc come in my mouth for the first time. MasterDoc and I had been seeing each other for a year by the end of this month.

In August I started participating in Half Nekkid Thursday, which I’ve done sporadically since. I struggled a bit with being a submissive and really opening myself up to someone - including giving MasterDoc my passwords to a few sites. We went to a hot (HOT) pool party. I started blogging over at Best Sex Bloggers. I spoke out about STIs and education. I had a very hot round of anal sex with MasterDoc, where I asked for more lube but then came really hard when he fucked me without adding lube. I enjoyed a moment of schadenfreude when I got to watch the online downfall of the guy who assaulted me (Jefferson). I don’t think I’ve blogged about the assault since - the experience of seeing him called on his bullshit by so many people really helped me heal a great deal.

September started out with me adding Babeland as an affiliate. (Still hasn’t netted me any money, but I still feel good about promoting that business.) I made the list of Top 100 Sex Bloggers. I also started reviewing toys, first for Lelo then for Babeland. Davey and I had a foursome while on vacation. MasterDoc and I gave an impromptu show one afternoon, then saw a couple in the evening. It dawned on me that our little shows technically make me a sex worker. I saw D.S. for one last time before he moved to San Francisco. I added Vibe Review as an affiliate at the end of the month.

In October, I put a toy into MasterDoc’s ass for the first time. I also wrote the terrific line, “I was a horny mass of sluttiness at that point.” I continued to try to get my head around the idea of him pissing on me. I wrote a little about dealing with depression while being submissive and how a beating can really make me feel better. MasterDoc made me come by slapping my clit. I talked about my early sexual and bdsm experiences. I had a bout of depression and cried during a scene - really cried - for the first time.

By November I could come at MasterDoc’s command quite well. I got philosophical about how change is an integral part of life. I came and squirted from being spanked at a swing club and later that night got fucked up the ass in public for the second time. One evening I became so turned on that I couldn’t turn off - and that ended up being the night that MasterDoc peed on me for the first time. I was so turned on and so deep into submission that I came as he peed on my clit. I went to the NYC Sex Blogger Calendar party and met a bunch of fellow bloggers. I also participated in Pleasurists for the first time. I come some more from pain and come again without being touched at all.

I started off December feeling cross with MasterDoc, but things were soon resolved and I wrote a post about how wonderful he is. He had a Domme-in-training come by for lessons and she fucked me with a strap on. The next night, a Dom came over with his three submissives and we had a fun bdsm orgy of sorts. I fisted a woman for the first time. MasterDoc figured out that he could use my new anal beads as a whip. Yikes. I fell ill with a stomach virus and actually turned down sex one day. But we used that time to go over my bdsm checklist and see what limits could be pushed in the future that perhaps we’ve been neglecting. We finished off the year going to a gangbang party last weekend.

All-in-all it’s been a hot year and I’ve come a long way with coming on command. I enjoyed reviewing my year via my blog but jeez, I really was at it for several hours. Thank you all for reading and I hope to have more adventures in 2009.

Three Thumbs Up!

Published
by
Nadia
on December 7, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, cunt, fisting, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive, swinging, sybian and wax play
. 0 Comments

I feel very fortunate to have so many wild, fun sexual experiences. I really am very lucky. While I was a total pervert before I met MasterDoc, he has led me further down the path of debauchery and I love him for it. Last night we had some guests - a Dom, his slave #1(who lives in NY), his slave #2 (a Canadian down for a visit) and a woman who is potentially going to be his, so right now she’s a submissive under consideration I guess. (Edited 12/10 to get the hierarchy correct.) Liz was visiting and MasterDoc got her to cook dinner - a spectacular feast as always (complete with made-from-scratch apple pie!) We got settled with our guests and enjoyed some wine with dinner. Now, as a submissive I call MasterDoc “Sir” and not “Master” since our relationship is not that of Master and slave. I don’t think I have it in me to be someone’s slave. I’m too spoiled, cantankerous, and selfish to commit to being a slave. I’m really very happy with the situation I have with MasterDoc. He knows how to work with my difficult aspects, but I digress. It was different to be around submissives who refer to their Dom as Master. Not bad, just different. I can see where I’m much more autonomous than they are. I don’t have to call MasterDoc Sir when I don’t have my collar on (unless he’s just given me a direct order, then it’s appropriate) and things are on a closer-to-equal footing when I’m not in my collar. (They’re never truly equal, but then that’s part of the attraction of a Dom/sub relationship. I want him to be in charge, even when I’m feeling stubborn.) I think I’ve found a D/s relationship that works well for me, and I very much respect the other types of D/s relationships there are out there. It’s fascinating to discover that each one is so different. You’d think there’s one way to be a Dom but there really isn’t. There’s as many D/s relationship structures as there are people who practice power exchange.

The slaves and sub were all good about doing things like dishing out food at dinner and what not. As hostess I really should have been better, but I’m a crap hostess. lol I did set the table, and take their coats and stuff like that. I tried to be on my best behavior. I missed a few things like putting out napkins on the table, but I remedied it as quickly as possible when it was noticed. I was feeling really shy last night. Not shy sexually, after all, when am I shy sexually? But quiet, not talkative. Luckily the other ladies were friendly and engaged me in conversation. The Canadian one really caught my eye - curvy with a nose ring and color streaked hair - definitely my type. The other two were hot as well but some people are just more your type than others. The Dom is a handsome man, in his 40s, and his ladies seemed quite devoted to him. All in all, everyone was nice and I really enjoyed the time we spent with them.

After dinner, we hung out in the living room. Dynamics-wise it was interesting as the other ladies sat on the floor (out of choice, I believe) and I sat on the sofa with the two men. I’m not sure exactly how we got things started, but MasterDoc asked to borrow some wax to do some wax play on me. I spread out on the reclining chair and he dripped wax all over me. It hurt, but in a wonderful, sensational way. The first candle he chose was white, so the wax didn’t show up in the dim light, but he switched to a red candle at the other Dom’s urging. I braced myself since darker candles are supposed to burn hotter. I don’t know that there was a significant difference, but he sadistically dripped wax in the delicate area next to my mons.

He sent me to clean up, and I’m foggy on what exactly happened next. There was some spanking at one point. There were clothespins put on the nipples of one of the ladies. The Canadian knelt in front of her Master and he lulled her into the submissive headspace. I was told to come over to her and play with her tits. I felt shy but slowly made my way over. He directed the action every step of the way. I was to suck on one tit, then the other. He had her and me lean in close to each other, not kissing just yet but leaning in close, cheek to cheek. He told us both to smell each other and we stroked our cheeks against each other and sniffed slowly. He told us to start kissing, but not on the mouth, on the cheek, the neck, any place else. She really dove in and started to work on my neck. I’ve got a bit of a hickey today from it. I was in such a happy place. He slowly moved us towards kissing on the lips, and she dove in before he gave permission. I was so hot for her at this point, the slowness was agony (and I’m sure he knew it!) He got her to back off, but then gave us permission and our tongues met and she sucked on my lips sensually. She’s a very good kisser. Our hands reached out to each other’s bodies and we caressed and played, she sucked on my tits for a bit then dove in to my pussy. I sit back, leaning against the couch, and closed my eyes as she worked magic on my clit. She was instructed to get her ass in the air, near the couch so MasterDoc could spank her. I reached under her stomach and found her clit and massaged it with my fingers. It was so damn hot watching MasterDoc spank her while she went down on me. I hardly noticed what the rest of them were up to. *grin* I do believe the other Dom got a blow job from his other women.

I had the thought at one point in the evening, that plenty of people would consider us to be sick freaks. I mean, the evening is totally outside of what most people do with their Saturday evenings. But this is definitely a case of “if it’s wrong I don’t want to be right.” Last night was among the hottest nights of my life. It was better than porn. Seriously.

The sybian was brought out, and each of our lady guests got turns riding it. It is amazing to watch a woman on the sybian. The look on her face is just beautiful. MasterDoc ran the controls and made each lady come over and over again, after they got his permission of course. Two of the ladies fooled around while one of them rode the sybian, I got prompted to join in after I was just sitting there watching the action. I got to watch pretty much all of the sybian rides, and my mouth was hanging open at how hot it was to watch. I was so horny! I was feeling a little left out and wondering when I’d get to have an orgasm, but I kept quiet and behaved myself. Luckily, the other Dom wanted to see me on the sybian as well. MasterDoc had me get my gag since it was late at night and we didn’t want my screams to disturb the neighbors. So, bit gag in mouth, I got on the sybian. MasterDoc positioned himself right in front of me so I could fall forward into his arms. He teased me and I was begging to come in no time. (Hard to do with the gag in my mouth. lol) He asked the other Dom if he thought I should be allowed to come yet, and he said not yet. So MasterDoc teased me a bit more. When he allowed me to come, my whole body convulsed and I grabbed at him, moaning through the gag.

This might be when we took a break to have pie, I can’t quite remember. While we were in the dining room, MasterDoc played with the clover clamps on the Canadian slave’s breasts. Youch. I can’t take them, but she rode through the pain. He got her to take the chain into her mouth, holding the clamps so they were pulling on her nipples roughly. I could tell the pain was turning her on. MasterDoc started playing with her cunt, and eventually she came as he slapped her clit. She even squirted across the table. (I was seated next to them and got splashed a little.)

Back in the living room, even more happened. Oh yes, you’re probably thinking damn, this night has been really hot so far, but oh I am a lucky girl and the night continued to get hotter. The Canadian slave went over to MasterDoc and they played a bit (I think she gave him a blow job, I’m not sure my back was turned). I was called over to the other Dom and he placed clothes pins on my nipples. He followed up with clothes pins all around my breasts. He then had me turn and show MasterDoc. Some pictures were taken (MasterDoc making sure that my face wasn’t in any of them). I was left like that for a little while. The clothespins pinched my flesh. When MasterDoc nudged to have the other Dom take them off it hurt while each one came off, but he had two of his ladies kiss and caress each spot as he took them off. The two continued to suck on my nipples, my very sensitive nipples. He had the third one come around behind me and stroke my head, meanwhile he (the other Dom) slid his fingers into my cunt. Oh my god the feeling was amazing having so many hands on my body. I begged to be allowed to come, and from the sofa MasterDoc taunted me, asking me if I was sure I wanted to come. He teased me while the other Dom played with my g-spot. When I was allowed to come I came hard yet again. Afterwards, MasterDoc told me I was a very good girl and I beamed. I’m positively swooning as I write this. I have the best time being a slut. I mean, really amazing fun.

Just when you’d think the night couldn’t get any better, the Canadian slave got fisted in front of all of us. I sat there, mesmerized, with a front row seat to watching her get fisted. Her Master’s entire hand fit inside her cunt. “Jesus Christ,” I thought, “This is cool!” I mean, how many people get up to this on a Saturday night? Before I knew it, I was being talked into fisting her as well. I had never fisted anyone before, so the Dom talked me through the whole process, gradually adding more fingers and more of my hand (and lots of lube) until my entire fist was inside her. When she came I could feel her vaginal muscles squeezing my hand. My hand remained inside her as he kissed her afterwards, forgotten. It was funny. Eventually it was like, “Oh I forgot your hand was in there!” and he had me take it gently out. She gave me a great kiss and cuddle afterwards and it was great to make another woman feel that good. It was totally hot. I’m sure I sound like a fourteen-year-old boy but, dude, last night was totally hot. *grin*

If I could have a night like that every night of my life I would never feel depressed. It was amazing. I hope that they come to play with us again sometime soon.

After they left, I cleaned up a bit and hung out with MasterDoc and Liz. We all agreed that they were nice people and we hope to see them again. It was just about bedtime for me when MasterDoc’s cock got hard. He said something about fucking me in the morning, but I was keen to get fucked then. (I just knew I’d want to sleep in as late as I could in the morning.) And, yippee!, he decided to fuck me. We went into the bedroom and he went down on me for a little while. He then fucked me from behind and he had me in a state in no time. I was moaning, dying to come. He fucked me hard and I struggled to hold back from coming. Then he gave me permission and I came, my muscles clenching his cock. It was a wonderful ending to a wonderful evening. I fell forward after, dazed. I cuddled up to MasterDoc and felt so very thankful to have him in my life. Today, I was sad to leave, uncertain when I get to see MasterDoc next. I really can’t get enough of him.

Addendum: I changed the title of this after MasterDoc reminded me that we already had a title for it - last night the other Dom came up with the joke of three thumbs up, i.e. his two thumbs and the dildo sticking up from the sybian. The new mark of a successful sexual encounter - three thumbs up!

Random Sunday Evening Thoughts

Published
by
Nadia
on November 25, 2007
in fisting and sex
. 0 Comments

Davey’s home. Hooray! Although I had to tear him away from watching episode after episode of Rome on dvd. (He borrowed it from the library.) I had been feeling crampy and cranky earlier so he figured we wouldn’t be having sex, but I got bored and decided that sex was just the thing to alleviate my boredom. I told him that he could either keep watching the show while I went and took a shower, or he could come have sex with me and come on me before my shower. Needless to say, he chose the latter. Being direct pays off.

While we were fooling around I asked him to put a third finger in me and he said, “I know you can take it. You can take a whole fist.” Huh? I’ve never been fisted. “Yes you have, by K. at that roof top sex party.” OMG. I’ve been fisted and I didn’t know it. Granted, K. is a woman and her hands are relatively small, and I do remember coming very hard and very loud as she fingered me that night. Or at least, I thought she was fingering me. But Davey saw the whole thing and he says her entire hand was inside me. Go fig. I’ve been fisted and I didn’t even know it! I only wish I had known.

Even after Davey came all over me I was still feeling horny so I had him get my favorite g-spot hitting silicone dildo and my bullet vibe. As much as I like the magic wand, the bullet vibe is still a favorite. Sometimes the wand is just too intense. So between Davey fucking me with the dildo and me using the vibe on my clit I came so hard. I mean, I was just in another world. And I floated from one orgasm to the next for a couple of minutes. I’m a happy girl.