Archive for the 'orgasm denial' Category

I begged him for permission with my eyes

Published
by
Nadia
on November 5, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, best sex bloggers, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, porn, sex and squirting
. 4 Comments

My collar on, I lay on the bed and start touching the magic wand to my clit to warm myself up.  He strokes himself and watches me, my eyes shut for the most part. I get right to the edge of orgasm and then lay off the vibe a little. He tells me I don’t have to keep myself right on the edge, but it feels so damn good to hold myself at the edge. While riding the edge doesn’t have the sense of release that an orgasm does, the nerve endings around my cunt tingle and get warm and I enjoy waves of pleasure. I keep riding the edge and he starts pushing the wand up against me. With the vibration intensified, I look at him, and I beg him with my eyes for permission to come. I know that he wants me to hold out as long as possible before asking for permission to come, so I work hard at holding back, but it’s so hard. I keep looking at him imploringly and he continues to play with the vibe on my clit. Then I feel his fingers slide down to my hole where he plays a bit before sliding them in to play with my g-spot. I think I managed to hold back asking to come, but finally he tells me, “Come.” Oh my god, I thought my head was going to explode off my shoulders. I had a fantastic series of orgasms - mind blowing orgasms. I just kept coming and coming and coming until he removed his fingers and told me to stop. Spent, I curled up to his chest afterwards for a much needed cuddle. He told me that he would have let me come longer had I not been so loud. After all, it was election day and the kids in his apartment building were bound to be home from school. I thanked him for the orgasms.

Next, I rode his cock, rocking back and forth on top of him, the head of his cock hitting just the right spot inside, over and over. I moaned and rode the edge, rocking my hips. Again I held back from coming, desperately wanting him to give me permission. Again, he gave permission (how lucky I felt!) and I had more orgasms, giving me the energy to frenetically ride him. I found energy and stamina I never knew I had. I squirted on him a little bit and rode him until I was exhausted and had to fall forward, cuddling him. Again, I thanked him for letting me come another time, again really hard.

He fucked me from behind and I couldn’t hold back asking for permission to come this time. I begged, wondering if I’d be so lucky as to be granted permission three times in one day. He must have been feeling really generous as he did, and as I came his cock was pushed out. He held onto my hips and I continued coming, spasming, gasping, writhing in orgasm while he simply held onto me. It really is amazing how he’s gotten me to the point where I will continue coming even without direct genital stimulus. It helps to hear his voice when I come, telling me to come, telling me I’m a good girl. I collapsed on the bed. As we cuddled he asked me, “Are you a lucky girl.”

“Yes, Sir, I’m a lucky girl.”

“Are you a very lucky girl?” I didn’t catch the “very” the first time he said it so when I didn’t respond exactly in kind he repeated it.

“Yes, Sir, I’m a very lucky girl.” This became the theme for the rest of the day, with him asking if I’m a lucky girl, and me responding that I am, indeed, a very lucky girl. I was exhausted. (I thought I was going to sleep really well last night, but alas I had a hard time falling asleep as usual. *sigh*)

A little bit later we were in the bedroom again. He hadn’t come so he had me suck his cock, stroke it and eventually play with his ass as he stroked himself while watching porn. I played with his ass, kneading, stroking the cheeks, getting my fingers right up inside near the asshole. He asked me after a bit if I was tired, and I had to admit that I was (getting between the gluteal muscles can be really tiring on fingers and forearm muscles, sadly). I had played with his ass a bit earlier so they were already a bit tired out. (Anyone have suggestions on exercises to strengthen those muscles?) Since I was tired, and he’s very good to me, he had me lay behind him, stroking his back. My arms were still tired but I didn’t complain as I wanted to help him reach orgasm. After he came, he had me play with his ass just a little bit more and I stroked and kneaded again. He came all over the sheets and I was told to change the sheets and pillow cases before I left.

Tonight I masturbated, thinking about how I begged him with my eyes for permission to come. I rode the edge, humping my Pleasure Tops (still not enough to get me off by itself) and using my bullet vibe. I watched some bdsm porn where a woman who was tied up got flogged and fucked with a butt plug up her ass. My cunt got swollen and engorged as I rubbed the bullet against my clit. I moaned as I neared the edge and finally I let myself come by imagining MasterDoc saying to me, “Come.”

Puddle

Published
by
Nadia
on November 2, 2008
in Uncategorized, depression, orgasm denial, sex, shio and squirting
. 0 Comments

Davey and I went to a friends’ Halloween party last night. It was a fun time, I drank too much, but I couldn’t resist leaning over to Davey at one point and saying, “Regular parties are so dull compared to the type of parties we usually go to.” *grin* After all, there was no nakedness, no sex! All there was to do was stand around, eating, drinking and talking. This pervy girl is just used to a very different kind of party. Still, it was good to see some friends I haven’t seen in a while, and to dress up for a night.
The night before I spent with MasterDoc. I was still in a funk when I got to his place in the evening. I was grumpy and depressed, but I had made a conscious decision earlier that day to be nice and not cranky. He was catching up on some much needed sleep when I got there, so I got dinner together while he slept as he had asked me to do, and attacked the mess in the kitchen. I have to say, while I’m glad I’m with a Dom who’s not a neat freak, I do wish that he was a little less messy. He can’t help it, it’s his ADD but it seems like there’s a never-ending mess every time I go over there. Still, I try to take care of it as good naturedly as I can, and he frequently thanks me for taking care of him. Appreciation makes a huge difference.

After he got up we had dinner and he debated if we were going out or staying in. I voted for staying in but said that I could probably get myself into the mood to go out if that’s what he wanted. (I was depressed, but not so bad I couldn’t be a little social, although that wasn’t my preference.) We cuddled for a bit and he got a call from a guy we’ve met at the club. The guy wanted to know if we were going to be there (I’m sure the club is much more fun when we’re there than when we’re not!). MasterDoc invited him up to see us instead (but he never got back to us). Ultimately he decided that we would stay in.

I was in the right mind frame to be cheered up. I felt down but open to feeling better, which I don’t always feel when I’m depressed. We straightened things up a bit, I showered and then went out to get us ice cream as I was totally craving it. (With the depression my eating has been terrible lately.) At one point, he comes up to me (naked, as he usually is) and starts kissing me and we found the one perk of me being tall - his cock fit right up against my crotch as we stood face to face. He moved his hips a little, and my tingling clit could feel his hard cock rub against the outside of my jeans. We kissed and I got so aroused.

After we had hung out for a while, he told me to go kneel in front of the armchair in the living room. He ordered me to make myself as accessible as possible, so I took my panties off. (I was in blouse, bra and panties at this point.) He told me to spread my legs apart and play with myself. I leaned over the chair and thrust my right hand between my legs. I was a little wet already. He had me get myself all warmed up. I was feeling so lustful that night that I was aching for a fucking in no time flat. Luckily, he decided to come over to me and fuck me from behind, right there as I bent over the chair. His cock felt amazing and I teetered on the edge of coming. It is such agony when he makes me wait to come but I get into such a state of heightened arousal that I suppose the agony is worth it. He told me that he wanted me to hold myself on the edge, and I’m sure he could tell from my gasps and moans that I was dying to come. He teased me for a while. I was a blubbering mess, desperate to come. He really knows how to get me into the state where I would probably agree to anything, or nearly anything, if only he’d let me come. Finally, he said the magic word, “Come.” And I immediately started to orgasm. His cock got pushed out and he held onto me as I kept coming and coming. I even squirted, oh about a gallon, as I came even after he had stopped fucking me. Everything with him is just so intense. I left a puddle under me which he had me sop up with a towel.

After I caught my breath we took a break and had the ice cream. Sex and ice cream certainly improve my mood. (Oh and yes it’s not just the sex and ice cream, being with MasterDoc helped my mood a great deal.) We had more sex after that, but silly me I can’t recall the details! It was hot, wonderful, I had more orgasms and it generally helped my mood immensely. I think perhaps he fucked my brains out because I really am drawing a blank on the details for the rest of the night.

Beating Depression

Published
by
Nadia
on October 12, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, depression, flogging, masochism, mental illness, orgasm denial, sex, spanking and submissive
. 1 Comment

I’m prone to depression, have been since I was young. These days, I’m happy most of the time - I have the proper medication and feel on an even keel usually. But on Friday night I hit a rough patch and was severely depressed. I have no idea what brought it on but I had been feeling very anxious earlier in the day. It could be thanks to a change in medication, could just be hormonal. Whatever it was, I was seriously depressed. I spent the better part of two hours crying, not knowing why I was crying. I was a mess. MasterDoc hugged me and was wonderful to me, but he wasn’t feeling well himself so he wasn’t up to beating me. I know it sounds strange, but the two of us knew that was something that would turn my mood around. I got up the next morning and went to work, still feeling wretched.

I went back to MasterDoc’s that night after work and picked up some ice cream on the way. Yup, I was looking to self-medicate. Thankfully, MasterDoc felt better and he decided that we would spend the evening in and a beating would ensue since I was feeling so bad. We had ice cream, then dinner, then he had me put my collar on and get on my knees by a chair in the living room. He had me put the blindfold on and he sat in the chair in front of me. He put clothespins on my nipples and flicked the clothespins with his fingers. He had me bend over the chair. Using his hands and other implements he really beat on my ass. My pain tolerance was good and so the sensation mostly felt soothing and good. Yes, I know I’m a strange girl. It’s amazing how wonderful pain can make me feel. It’s counter-intuitive to react that way but it’s just how I am. He beat me for a while, even taking the heavy flogger to my upper back for a bit. It’s a bit like meditation to be beaten - you get into this other mental state, which is usually referred to as subspace. He was fairly rough with me, but I felt better and better as the beating went on.

He gave me the magic wand and had me use it on myself. I was so turned on from the beating. I kept pressing the vibrating wand into my clit. I asked for permission to come, but he didn’t let me right away. He kept beating me, sometimes it really hurt, but most of the time it was cathartic. My arousal grew as I continued to use the vibrator on myself. He finally gave me permission to come, and oh my god did I come hard and long. I felt like I could just keep coming forever. He gave me some lashes with the whip end of my slapper while I came - it’s really something else what I can take during orgasm. Pain that is usually too much is bearable somehow. Between the orgasm and the beating, I felt so much better afterwards. It’s like a miracle cure for my depression. I suppose it’s the endorphins that are released, but whatever it is, it works.

We hung out for a little while, watching tv and whatnot and he had me take my collar off. I felt subdued. A little while later he put some porn on we watched for a while. I felt entranced by the kinkiness going on. He told me to get myself warmed up, that he was going to fuck me. I used the little red vibrator on my clit and was hot and bothered again in no time. Despite not having the collar on, I felt like it was appropriate to call him Sir and so I did throughout the scene. We went to the bedroom and he fucked me while I lay on my back. I tried to hold off on asking for an orgasm, but eventually I gave in. He didn’t let me come then, and afterward he asked me to take even longer next time before asking permission. It’s so hard not to ask for permission, I get so incredibly worked up and on the verge of orgasm. Sometimes it feels like I won’t be able to hold back, but so far I’ve always managed to have enough self-control. I worry that someday I’ll slip. He finished fucking me and we cuddled a bit.

He had me lay on my side and he tried to enter me from behind. The angle wasn’t right so he said he guessed that he would just have to fuck me up the ass then. He had me lube up my ass to get it ready. It took some work to slide his cock in, the angle just wasn’t very good. I complained about the angle but he didn’t stop. It was uncomfortable, but his continuing on despite this got me so hot. I really do think I’m a bit wacko as pain can make me feel so good. In another context I’d have felt traumatized or violated, but with him I got wildly turned on and when he told me to come I came. Rowr. Very hot butt sex. Mind you, with someone else I might not have reacted so well. I think it makes a huge difference that I know he knows what he’s doing, and he wouldn’t truly hurt me - not in a bad way.

I snuggled up to his chest, but I was feeling really lusty so I started to caress his chest and lick it. He stroked his cock while I did this and I kept it up, feeling oh so passionate and sexual. He was breathing heavy and I did my best to make him feel good. When he came, he came all over my tummy. It was gooey. I was eager to take a shower at that point, but he said for that I would have to stay with his come on me. While it was gooey I was longing for a shower, but once it dried I kinda liked being a dirty girl with his come on me. In the end I slept with it on me and showered in the morning. Did I mention that by this point my depression was completely gone? I’m feeling much better, although I do feel like I could go for another beating. MasterDoc called me a greedy girl when I mentioned that.

Catching Up

Published
by
Nadia
on October 4, 2008
in D/s, anal, blow jobs, exhibitionism, orgasm denial, sex, slut and swinging
. 2 Comments

Hi all. I’ve been quiet this week because it’s been a busy week. I’ve been kept busy at work, and I’ve spent a few nights at MasterDoc’s and away from my computer. That doesn’t mean I haven’t had some fun, however. Tuesday night was a quiet night with MasterDoc - we do have evenings of just hanging out from time to time. Wednesday night we got naked and had some fun. I really should blog things right after they happen because details quickly become fuzzy.

He used a variety of toys on me, getting me worked up. I was hoping he’d try the archer wand, but that ended up saved for Friday night. Like I said, the details of Wednesday night are a bit fuzzy. I gave him a hand job for a while (surprisingly I didn’t go down on him at all that night, which is highly unusual). I’m pleased to say my handjob skills seem to be generally improving. It’s amazing what a few bits of direction from a Dom can do for your know-how. He fucked me, and kept me right on the edge for quite a while, or at least it felt like quite a while. When he finally allowed me to come, I came, but not as hard as I would have if he had given me permission right at the peak of my arousal. He seemed disappointed that he missed the peak, as he knows my body so well.

He had me play with this cock and ass, and had me insert a toy into him for the very first time (very first time with me, that is). It was a wand that’s curved, so it worked well to hit his prostrate on the inside. It’s fun to watch the expressions on a man’s face as he gets off. I commented a couple of weeks ago about how it’s fun to watch a woman, but I really do enjoy watching a man as well. We kept playing until he came. (Actually I kept going with the toy even after, as I’ve learned that he doesn’t want stimulation to suddenly end when he’s come, but rather to continue a little after. I keep going until he tells me to stop.)

Last night, we went out to a swing club. It was really dead when we got there, so it was a while before we got down to playing. We took some time for cuddles. (Yes, this is probably disappointing to the people who wander into the room hoping to see sex, and there we are, fully clothed, cuddling. I needed some cuddles last night though.) I had a couple of drinks and felt generally better after the cuddling and the drinks. (I had been feeling kinda down.)

After things began to pick up, we went to the back room where we had cuddled, and MasterDoc had me suck his cock. I got it nice and hard and he told me to sit back so he could reach my cunt. I used the nea on my clit while he played around with me. He had a guy (one who I had fucked before but didn’t immediately recognize. Oh yes, I’m a big slut!) play with my tits in the meanwhile. Then he used the archer wand on me. Rowr. I think it’s even more fun when someone else is using it on you. I find that with penetration play I enjoy it more when someone else is doing the playing, whereas with clit play I prefer doing it myself much of the time. The big, bulbous end of the wand nudged against my g-spot. I so wanted to come. I was a horny mass of sluttiness at that point. So when he asked me if I wanted to get fucked, really wanted it, I just had to moan out that yes, yes, I really wanted to get fucked.

He put me on hands and knees and fucked me from behind. We had a nice audience by this time. He had me use a vibe on my clit while he fucked me. I was really turned on and moaning and crying out, “Oh fuck!” I begged for permission to come and each time he said, “Not yet.” I was a very eager, horny slut at that point. I like being at a club because I can be loud about my enjoyment. I can moan and cry out and scream. After a while of fucking, I asked for permission again, no I begged for permission, and he gave it to me. I came hard, but didn’t manage to push his cock out, which was a nice change of pace. He had it thrust deep inside me when he gave me permission to come. The orgasm rocked my body and I screamed out how good it felt. He would grab my hair every so often. I think the audience had a nice show.

He let me lay down to rest, and I caught my breath. By this time I was laying on my back, and the guy who fucked me before offered to work his fingers in me again (I remembered who he was when it was mentioned he was the guy with magic fingers.) and MasterDoc allowed him to do so. I was laying on my back, and a crowd filled the small room. The guy would finger me deep, hitting my g-spot while MasterDoc applied pressure on the outside. I asked for permission to come at will and was given it. I came really hard, really loudly, over and over again. Next, MasterDoc took over with his fingers inside me and the other guy pressed down by my pubic bone. They took their turns playing with me and it was heavenly.

MasterDoc asked if I was ready to be fucked again. I was quite ready. He had me get on top this time and I rode his cock, rocking back and forth. I love the feel of his cock inside me. I was a little tired, but my enthusiasm gave me the wherewithal to keep fucking him until he had decided it was enough. We relaxed for a bit and the crowd dispersed a little. Soon some other people were fooling around in the corner of the room, and it was getting crowded in there again, so MasterDoc had us get dressed and we prepared to leave.

All-in-all it was a terrific night. We headed home around 1:30, so it was relatively early, but I was feeling quite satisfied. (Oh, I nearly forgot to mention, he gave me a little bit of a flogging as I held onto the chains hanging from the St. Andrew’s Cross in the bdsm room. He had let me pack what toys I wanted last night, and I left out anything stingy but I knew I would like the thuddyness of the big flogger.)

Our Version of a Quiet Night In

Published
by
Nadia
on September 27, 2008
in D/s, bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, pillow princess, porn, sex and spanking
. 1 Comment

MasterDoc and I had a quiet night in last night. But of course if you read this blog regularly you’ll know that a quiet night in for us isn’t necessarily boring. We went out to dinner (the first time in over a year of dating), shared a huge strawberry daiquiri (yum) and then went back to his place. A great way to end a long, busy week. At his place he tells me that he’s in the mood to come that night, and that the focus is going to be on him. I’m really horny so I’m hoping that in the midst of things he’ll decide to fuck me after all, but I had my collar on by this point so I didn’t say a thing, I just focused on what he wanted.

He put porn on the tv and the computer. I was getting hornier and hornier watching the porn. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin if I didn’t get touched soon. He had me get the lube and stroke his cock. Being so horny, I really focused on what I was doing and the reaction I got out of him. I apparently came very close to making him come. I was very into touching him and making him feel good last night.

He had me suck his cock for a while, but then had me stop as he got distracted with a phone call. At one point he told me to lube up my asshole, as he was going to fuck my ass. I got excited but it was mostly just a tease. He told me to play with myself, and I was already really wet. I ached to come. Then he decided that, yes, he was going to fuck me and asked me if I had a preference which hole. I said I didn’t have a preference and he decided to fuck my pussy. I got on my knees on the mat on the floor. (My knee is still sore from my fall last week. But it’s better than it was and so it was to the point where I could just think of it as a bdsm-related pain as he fucked me.)

He fucked me for a while, getting me more and more turned on. He fucked me fairly hard and it was so hard to hold back from coming. I begged for orgasm a couple of times, and he told me that I would be in trouble if I asked again. The agony! I so desperately wanted to come but wasn’t allowed to even ask. I struggled for a while, trying not to say anything, just moaning with pleasure as he fucked me. I had to try to divert my attention away from what he was doing to me, so I wouldn’t go over the edge and come. It felt so amazing. Finally, in a frenzy, I moaned out, “Please.” He slapped my ass really hard several times. I was in trouble for giving in and asking. I had tried so hard but I just couldn’t help myself, it felt so amazing. He gets me at such a high state of arousal I can’t help myself; I’m delirious from being touched.

He fucked me for a little longer. I whimpered as that was all I could do since I couldn’t beg. He eventually pushes me away and I fall forward onto the mat. I thought that was it for now, but after a few brief moments he comes up to me, spanks my ass and grabs my hair. “Come, cunt.” And it takes me a few seconds to get there but simply from being aroused, and having him hit my ass and grab me roughly by the hair, I have the most amazing orgasm. No genital stimulation at all at that point. He handles me roughly and holds me close as I have orgasm after orgasm. I clutched at the mat I lay on, and didn’t let go until a few minutes after he had finished with me. He later said that he hadn’t planned to let me come since I had been bad, but he felt pity on me as I lay on the floor. I am such a lucky girl. Really, he is so good to me. In the end, he didn’t end up coming, which I was a little sad about as I really wanted to get him off. (Perhaps I’m learning to be less selfish and less of a pillow princess.)

He had me get dressed and go to his car to get the Sex and the City movie he rented. We watched the movie on the sofa (the quiet night in part of the night) and cuddled a bit. It’s definitely a chick flick, and perhaps a bit sappy, but I was in a romantic mood last night so I got sucked right in.

I only got an evening and a morning with him this week, and I wish I had more time with him, but I’m trying to be a good girl and not give him a hard time about it at all. I will just have to be patient until the next time I get to see him.

Impromptu Show

Published
by
Nadia
on September 20, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, dom, exhibitionism, orgasm denial and sex
. 0 Comments

Saturday started out quiet. I had plenty of time to catch up on blogging about the day before and MasterDoc worked on some organizing in his bedroom. It seemed like the whole day would just be us hanging out since we hadn’t heard back from anyone we had asked to see us. In the afternoon, I went to the store for some soda and got a call while I was there. It was from G., the lady who came to see us a couple of weeks ago who got her butt nicely reddened by MasterDoc’s hand. Apparently she and her hubby would be up to getting together tonight, so I said great and that I’d call her back once I got upstairs to talk to MasterDoc about timing.

I come home and tell MasterDoc and he says, “Great. Put on your collar.” Ok, I’m wondering why he suddenly wants me in my collar. He tells me that a guy who is interested in a show was in the area and he’d be over in ten minutes. Ten minutes! In that time period MasterDoc had to take a bath, I needed to shower, I was just getting dressed as the guy showed up. I took a couple of minutes to dry my hair and I put on a little makeup and made an appearance in the living room. In a very short period of time, the day went from being a little dull to being blogworthy thanks to two phone calls at just about the same time.

He had me get naked and suck his cock for a bit, and he was clearly still in the mindset of verbal humiliation. He had me look at the guy, which was difficult for me as always. MasterDoc had me lay down on the mat on the floor and he slapped my thighs a little as I played with my nea on my clit. Ouch. Then he decided to have me turn over and spank my ass, letting me continue using the toy on my clit. He not only used his hands and the slapper, he used the flogger on me as well - both on my ass and on my upper back. (As always avoiding the area around the kidneys because making your sub pee blood is not a good thing.) He had me turn over again, and play some more with myself for the audience. He asked if I wanted to get fucked and I said, “Yes, Sir.”

“Yes, Sir, what?” I really should know by now that I should say in full what it is I’m saying yes to.

“Yes, Sir, I want to get fucked.”

He made me wait for a little while, getting myself close to the edge of coming. Finally he came over and fucked me. We started out with me on my knees but I tripped and hurt my knee the other day, so I couldn’t do that for long. The guy suggested putting me on my back and so we fucked missionary style. The guy was allowed to hold my leg up while I was fucked. I had gotten myself close to coming while using the toy so I was on the edge of orgasm in no time. I begged for permission to come and wasn’t given it. He fucked me some more and I moaned out a plea to be allowed to come. He continued fucking me, not allowing me to come. I ached for orgasm at this point. He stopped fucking me and had me play with the toy a little more again.

I was close to orgasm from the toy when MasterDoc came over and started fingering me. I begged for orgasm again and this time he told me to come. Immediately I started orgasming. He had to put his hand over my mouth to quiet me since I screamed as usual. (I love me a loud orgasm. I lose myself in the moment and moan and scream out my pleasure.) I was a little sore from the night before (not enough lube and ended up bleeding in case you don’t remember). I bled a little again but I’m not terribly worried about it. It hurt a little while he fingered me but I still came anyway.

Tonight, I should be used by three people - MasterDoc, G. and G’s husband, Max.

After the show today, I had the thought that I’m actually a sex worker. I don’t always get the cash that comes from doing the shows but I do get treated to dinner afterwards. While doing the shows satisfies a kink and isn’t “work” in the traditional sense, I do need to make sure it’s as hot as possible for the guy paying to watch. I’ve been attracted to sex work, because the idea of getting paid for something I love to do is a really cool idea. I’ve stayed away from it because of the legal concerns but of course there’s nothing illegal about  getting paid to be dominated and fucked in front of someone. Of course, while I think this is cool I also realize that I should keep it to myself as plenty of people would be upset by it - like my job, my parents, etc. I’m not doing anything illegal but still there’s a stigma against sex work of any kind.

Dirty Slut

Published
by
Nadia
on September 20, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, blow jobs, dom, exhibitionism, kink, orgasm denial, sex, slut and spanking
. 0 Comments

We had a guest over for the first time in a while. I was feeling more shy than usual, but in a way that is hot - I felt more embarassed to be used as a slut in front of an audience and that humiliation was a turn on. Add to this the fact that MasterDoc was more into verbal humiliation than usual and it was a somewhat difficult scene in some respects. Yet, while I found it hard to be called a filthy slut so much, I was also really turned on. Humiliation is a hard kink to have, because you feel like you shouldn’t enjoy it so much. You feel embarassed and shy and yet your crotch is on fire.

MasterDoc had me suck his cock for a while, but the guy first asked why I was still dressed. So I was told to get up and get undressed for the man. I was quickly naked and back on my knees sucking cock. MasterDoc had me look at the guy as I did so, something he knows is difficult for me. I tried my best to be a good girl and make eye contact while licking and sucking. After a bit, he had me lay on my stomach for a spanking. He was rougher than I thought he would be, I knew that the guy watching wasn’t so much into bdsm as trying to broaden his horizons. At one point later on MasterDoc slapped my face harder than usual, and I had a momentary worry about marks (there are no marks, the man knows what he’s doing) and he’d grab my hair hard in between. While the roughness threw me off a bit, I kept in submissive mode and took what he gave me.

He fucked me in front of the guy, calling me a dirty whore during. I moaned at the feel of his cock inside me. I wanted so much to come. He got me to the edge but held me there and didn’t let me come. It was so hot being watched. After, he had me play with myself in front of the man, we were waiting at that point for another man to show up, and I had my legs spread wide while the man watched me stroke my clit. I was really wet during all this. The guy had a hard on from watching me. He asked MasterDoc if he could would have me suck his cock. MasterDoc declined, but had me lend the guy a hand for a while. I had this guy’s cock in one hand, MasterDoc’s in the other hand. How slutty, giving two handjobs at once! *grin*

The other guy never showed up, and the first guy had to get going. I was left having not had an orgasm and I was feeling horny. What made me even more horny was that MasterDoc has gotten back this medical device that’s supposed to help women orgasm easier. It provides suction on your clit and you use it a few times a week to improve blood flow. (The perks of dating a doctor! lol) He had me use it for a while and the sucking turned me on some more. He’s sending me home with the device and we will see how easy it makes it for me to come. Rowr. So I was all sorts of horny when we went out that evening.

Dinner and a Few Fucks

Published
by
Nadia
on August 27, 2008
in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, dom, dp, edge play, horny, orgasm denial, porn and sex
. 2 Comments

I got to spend time with MasterDoc last night. I asked if he wanted me to go get dinner from the kitchen and he said, “Oh we’re going to eat now? I thought we were going to fuck.” Um well, like I’m going to say no to that! He told me to assume the position for best access and I found a position on the floor, on my knees, head down, ass up, legs apart. I lingered in that position for a while while he watched some porn.  He’d smack my ass every so often. I was getting turned on just being exposed to him like that, being left waiting for the fucking I was coming to want more and more. He finally came over and slid his cock into me. He fucked me for a bit, getting me really aroused. He stopped and put more lube down there and soon I felt a finger against my asshole. I moaned and pushed back on his cock and the finger. He slid his thumb in my ass and fucked me with the thumb inside me. I was a horny slut just loving the feeling of being penetrated in two holes. I begged to be allowed to come but he kept me on the edge. He’d fuck me hard and I’d beg even harder. Finally, he allowed me to come - under the caveat that I should under no circumstances push his cock out. I still haven’t quite gotten the hang of coming while not contracting - I rode this orgasmic wave for a while, semi-coming. I’m not sure if he pulled out or if I eventually pushed him out despite my efforts, but then he was fingering me, hard. I came and came and came. He really fingered me for a while. I’m a lucky girl! I was amazed by how long I could keep coming and coming.

After the fucking he sent me to get dinner from the kitchen. The food was a little so-so after sitting for a while and he couldn’t resist saying to me, “Well YOU wanted to fuck before dinner!”

After dinner we’re sitting on the sofa and he gets an idea (I can see this on his face). He holds out his thumb and says, “Suck my thumb.” I think ok, cool, submissive act, etc. but as I’m moving my head towards his thumb it dawns on me - that thumb had been up my ass. Eww. But I felt that by this time I had agreed to suck it and I couldn’t stop at that point (I was quite in submissive mode). He asked if I could taste my ass on it and I said no (thankfully!). He had been watching my face wondering at what point I realized that it was the thumb used on my ass. I explained that it hit me before I got it in my mouth.

We fucked some more, with me on my back. Again I begged to be allowed to come, but this time he didn’t give permission. He talked about fucking me up the ass and he realized that the bed would be better for that so we moved to the bedroom.

He had me set up some porn on the laptop and he fucked me some more, but not up my ass just yet. I begged to come but wasn’t allowed. We rested for a bit and he told me to find more porn online. I asked what category and he initially said anything I want, but then said, “No. Search for piss.” MasterDoc has been threatening to piss on me (and in my mouth) for as long as I’ve known him. It’s constantly hanging over my head. Piss play is not my kink, I have no problem with people indulging in it if that’s what they like but watching the piss porn just made me nauseous. (These women were soaked in the piss of several men and they spit it from mouth to mouth.) After we fucked (he never did fuck me up the ass. Pity, as I thought I might be able to come that way and not have to worry about my vaginal muscles pushing out), I curled up and tried not to watch the porn. I had complained that I was still horny (having been fucked a couple of times and not allowed to come, despite the orgasms I had earlier in the evening) and MasterDoc came up with an idea - I could play with my bullet vibe and make myself come, but I had to watch the piss porn while doing it. Yes, I can tell he is trying to condition me to like piss play. It was so hard to watch the piss porn as it’s totally not erotic to me, but I was so horny that I managed to sorta block out what I was watching and I had a great trembling orgasm. Thankfully, I was allowed to not watch after I came.

While we were hanging out after, MasterDoc said something about wanting to train me to orgasm less. Argh! If that’s not cruel and unusual punishment I don’t know what is. Orgasms are good. I just see myself walking around in a state of total frustration (and bitchiness) if I had fewer orgasms - particularly if he fucks me just as much and gets me so worked up.

I’ve got a writing assignment to do this week (I’m not seeing him again for a week, sigh) - I have to write an erotic account of what I’d like to happen next time I see the woman I went down on at the party last Friday. She was going to come play with us last night but mother nature intervened (period). I’ve been given permission to call her up and after setting up plans for Wednesday with MasterDoc and I, I can see if she’s available over the long weekend for me to see alone. Rowr. After I went down on her the other night she told me I’m really good at it, and as we said goodbye she gushed how she was so happy to have met me. Hee hee. I so infrequently get the attention of ladies I’m thrilled when it actually happens.
Today I was chatting with MasterDoc online and the idea of him having a live-in submissive came up, and he said he’s sure I’d freak out if he did that. And yes, I had to admit I would - and I realized that strangely, I’d be upset to have someone else doing the chores I do around his place. But after that I realized, duh, I’m a submissive, I should enjoy serving. I’d feel somehow less useful to him if I didn’t help around the house. Ultimately the big thing I’d be upset over is the idea of someone else getting time with him when I want to be spending time with him. I want more time with him, not less.

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I’ve put a new template into wordpress - pretty template but it does some weird things to my side bar (now the digsby widget and my list of categories are underneath everything, rather than to the right). Maybe I should just let the Curmudgeony Librarian work on my site when he gets time. I got mentioned on fleshbot and my site stats have soared over the past day. Cool beans! I love a larger audience for my exploits.

Orgasm Denial Sucks

Published
by
Nadia
on July 27, 2008
in Uncategorized, bdsm, orgasm denial and submissive
. 0 Comments

I’m in a shitty, shitty mood today. I’ve learned that I can’t handle orgasm denial. If this went on for an extended period of time I would lose my mind. Seriously. I’m so tense, so frustrated that the idea of cutting myself to relieve the tension has entered my mind (I’ve also contemplated drugs and alcohol). It’s one thing to be denied having an orgasm but not stimulated in the meantime. But it’s quite another to be stimulated beyond all belief, right to the edge, held there for a while, denied orgasm, pushed to the point where you’re afraid you can’t hold back any more and then left unfulfilled. This is one part of BDSM I HATE. I honestly don’t know if I can handle this. I had to take xanax last night to calm down and get to sleep.

Orgasms are good for people. I think people should have as many orgasms as they can. I don’t think it’s healthy to be denied orgasm. I really don’t know if I can handle this. I had sex with Davey and that wasn’t enough, luckily when I asked MasterDoc permission to masturbate I was granted it. The magic wand helped but I still feel like utter shit about this, like I’m not strong enough to be a good sub. Having him deliberately make me feel this horrible just makes me feel like I’ve been really, really bad. This whole thing makes me feel horrible.

We did have some wonderful times together this weekend, and I will blog about it (he did give me orgasms prior to the denial of last night) but I need to get out of this funk first. I really worry that I’m too weak, “not submissive enough” and what have you.