Category Archive for ‘sadism’ at Diary of a Kinky Librarian

Archive for the 'sadism' Category

The Crop and the Orgasm

Published

Nadia

on August 3, 2009

in D/s, Uncategorized, anxiety, bdsm, dating, emotions, masochism, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, poly, sadism, sex, sex toys, spanking and trust

. 0 Comments

I spent a little time with MasterDoc this weekend, after spending some much needed alone time. He’s spending as much time with his daughter as possible before she heads off to college, so that left me with time on my hands this past weekend, as Davey was away visiting another girlfriend for the weekend. While I’m prone to depression when I spend a long time alone, this time I really enjoyed myself. Granted, towards the end of the time I was getting restless, bored and lonely. But I got some stuff done around the house, including going through all my clothes to bag up things I don’t wear anymore. I hit Trader Joe’s for the first time in ages. Now my closets and dresser are neat and I have spectacular things to snack on. Huzzah!

I was hoping we’d go out Saturday night, but MasterDoc decided to stay in. He gave me a wonderful intense spanking using the riding crop. Initially I couldn’t tell what he was hitting me with - had he picked up a cane? When I eventually saw it it made sense, and as we were without a crop for a while I forget that it’s in his arsenal of toys now. I was enjoying the sensation but not close to orgasm when he said to me, “Come.” Wow, that was difficult. I focused my thoughts on orgasming and in less than a minute I managed to eke one out. It wasn’t as intense as an orgasm would be if I was fully aroused at the time, but through sheer will I managed it. He’s trying to train me to come via different sensations. I have certainly come from just a spanking before, but I wasn’t expecting it so I was thrown off a little. I think the ideal situation would be if I could eventually just come on command from a cold start. May or may not happen, but one can dream and strive.

He checked his email when we took a break and he found out about a party going on that night. I had already taken my sleeping medication by this time, so I wouldn’t be able to stay awake if we went out. He wondered if he could get someone to go with him. I was bummed because I had wanted to go out, had taken my medication as early as I did due to his request, and was horny and wanted sex with orgasms that weren’t eked out in the heat of stress. (Yes, I’m a demanding slut.) He encourages me to put his desires first some of the time, but I’m only human, and being ditched at the last minute really would have sucked. Ultimately he stayed in with me, for which I was very thankful.

He fucked me a little later, doggy-style, and I was so aroused that eventually I had to give in and beg for orgasm. He asked me if I was sure I wanted to come then and not have the fucking continue a bit longer, and I said that I wanted it to continue. Actually, I don’t think “said” is the right word - I gasped out my hope that he would keep fucking me. He kept going and I was going nuts on the edge of orgasm. When he let me come, I came hard and his cock got pushed out. He slapped my pussy, fingered me a bit as I continued to come. He grabbed the Acuvibe Mini that was laying on the bed and pushed it against my clit - oh holy mother of Jesus! - I came harder than I can remember in a while. And that’s saying A LOT. He kept pressing against my clit with the vibrator and I kept pressing back desperately trying to keep my clit in contact with it while I came. Afterwards, I was totally spent.

On the non-sexual side of things, my issues around jealousy and insecurity came up again. I’m sure some monogamous folks would say, “Well maybe you want to be monogamous.” But I have to say despite my insecurities, I really don’t want to be monogamous. Too bad I’m not a Domme as my ideal situation would be me gallivanting around with multiple partners and my lover being mono to me. But, uh, definitely not going to happen when one is a submissive! I do like knowing that MasterDoc is happy - and I know that having a variety of lovers, and enjoying flirting and chasing (and fucking) new women, is something that makes him happy. It’s in his nature. I do not expect it to ever change. And I can understand wanting variety as I do too. So that leaves me with trying to find a way to not be so insecure, not be so afraid of being abandoned. I need to find ways to keep myself busy when I have free time and thereby not get too upset if I can’t see MasterDoc for a while. (I mean, I love spending time with him, so not seeing him will never be a happy prospect, but I need to find ways to keep busy.) Davey is busy often with other girlfriends these days, I need to find myself someone else to spend time with.

Those of you who aren’t jealous types - how do you manage it? How do you process the idea of your love being with someone else when they could be spending time with you instead?

A Beating that Soothed my Soul

Published

Nadia

on July 29, 2009

in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, depression, dom, emotions, flogging, kink, masochism, sadism, sexuality, spanking and submissive

. 0 Comments

On Monday, I was feeling a bit blue. Suddenly biology got the better of me and I yearned for a baby. Me, the woman who for years proclaimed she didn’t want children, now suddenly yearns for one. I think it has a lot to do with being 36. My friend said I’ve got “the baby rabies” and she sure is right.

So I felt blue about it - not sure if, when or how I will have a child. I chatted online with MasterDoc and told him that I needed a beating. He was having dinner with his daughter that night, but if I wanted to hang out at his place until he was done he would give me a good beating when he got home.

He got home earlier than he planned, and so there was plenty of time for the beating. He got my collar and a bunch of implements and had me kneel on a pillow on the living room floor, leaning over the arm chair. My body was in the mood for a beating - most of the blows that fell on me felt soothing and rhythmic. He alternated flogging, bare hand spanking, the crop, etc. His hands can sometimes be the harshest implements. I would get into subspace and feel lulled by the strikes. But then he’d ramp it up a bit, and pain would set in - stinging pain. I’d start moaning and crying out. He’s excellent at judging how far he can push by listening to the noises I make.

He had me lean up a bit and he took the flogger to my upper back. It’s a solid thud that reverberates through my chest. I wondered if perhaps this would manage to bruise me, but unfortunately I was totally mark-free the next day. He spanked my ass more and returned to my upper back again later. The beating felt cleansing, soothing, and put me in a delightful sub space. He would stroke my back with his hand now and then, sometimes feel between my thighs to see if I was wet. I felt distinctly aroused and at times like I could come with only the slightest of stimulation to my genitals.

When he was done, about 10 minutes later, he was a little winded (it’s work!) and sat down on the other arm chair. I stood up and faced him, and shyly asked if I could have a cuddle. While the beating is therapeutic, I do need a bit of aftercare to complete the process. I squeezed into the chair with him, and my butt felt divinely sore. (When I got up later he pointed out how very red it was.) I was giddy and feeling romantic as I cuddled up to him. Vanilla people can’t comprehend, but that beating was an intimate, loving, sexual experience for me. I didn’t have an orgasm or any of the “usual” types of sexual stimulation, but I felt satisfied after. I woke up the next morning in a great mood.

Tonight, talking on the phone with MasterDoc I pointed out that as of tomorrow (Thursday) it is exactly 2 years since the day we met. “That’s so sweet, that’s romantic!” he exclaimed, followed by, “Remind me to piss in your mouth to celebrate.”

I burst out laughing. For while he surely will piss in my mouth one day, this was hopefully one of those times he says it for affect.

Intense Fantasies and Real Play

Published

Nadia

on July 21, 2009

in D/s, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, edge play, embarrassment, fantasy, horny, kink, masochism, orgasm on command, piss play, sadism, sex and submissive

. 1 Comment

MasterDoc and I played a bit last night. My mind has been racing lately with really dirty, fucked up fantasies. I keep hoping for stuff I don’t really hope for. I guess I should explain that. Lately I find that I get hot thinking about MasterDoc making me do things I don’t really want to do. In the back of my mind is a secret wish for him to get out the clover clamps, or pee on me and such. It seems like the dirtier and more intense, the more I want it. And yet, I’ve been so afraid to ask for it because then I have to endure stuff I’m not fond of. But of course, the hot part is that I’d be doing it because he makes me do it. I want to feel fear. I want to feel the strain of forcing myself to do something I detest. I want to feel that he truly has control over me.

He stroked my body and played with my nipples a bit. He caressed my face just before coming up with the wicked idea that he’ll take me to see his Domme friend sometime soon. She’s apparently quite the sadist, and he says that he’d like to see how far I have to be pushed before I beg for it to stop. With him I might feel like I’m letting him down if I beg to stop (on rare occasions I have though… once or twice) so it might be better with his friend. Of course he’d be there to be a part of things, probably stroking my face, helping me breathe slowly to take as much of the pain as I can.

And while this scares me, and I know I’ll be nervous when it comes to pass, I am also wildly turned on by this.

Heh, I remember the days when I didn’t consider myself a pain slut. I just didn’t have the right person to play with before I think.

He slapped my face a bit and played with my body some more. He looked at me, said, “You’re smiling too much. Thinking good thoughts?” Just as I got the words, “Yes Sir” out, he started slapping my thighs. Not lightly, but really hard so that I tensed up and my face scrunched up in pain. He told me I didn’t have enough fear. After the thigh slaps and some pussy slaps, I certainly wasn’t smiling any more.

He started playing with my clit and got between my legs to lick it. Oh I shivvered with delight. His tongue, slowly lapping at my clit, felt amazing. My breathing became shallow and I could feel the slow climb to orgasm start. I think it’s ridiculous that some people say Doms don’t/shouldn’t do oral on their subs. I am putty in his hands as he licks my cunt. He lay next to me, and played with my clit with his fingers. He’d dip down into my wetness to make sure that my clit stayed properly lubricated. My eyes closed involuntarily and my breath came in short pants. This went on for a while, and I could feel myself ready to come. When he told me I could come, I cried out and came hard. He kept playing with my cunt and I was uncontrollably turned on under his expert fingers. I orgasmed for quite a while. He seemed happy that he got me away from the magic wand for a change and that I came no less hard using just his fingers.

We took a break, and when we started up again I got to suck his cock. Lately I find myself getting really turned on and really into sucking his cock. I moan with delight, slurp, salivate and get as active as possible in sliding my mouth up and down the length of his shaft. I find lately that I yearn for him to grab my head during and make me choke on his cock. My fantasies have been getting decidedly rougher and more intense.

He had me get on top for a ride and I stroked his cock with my pussy by moving my hips back and forth. I get lost in what I’m doing, and soon all that exists for me is my cunt, and his cock and perhaps my clit rubbing against this tummy. It seemed like I rode him for a long time, keeping my arousal high but not coming. When I was allowed to come, my cunt pushed his cock out and I fell forward onto him and continued coming as he held me. I do wish my cunt wouldn’t push his cock out though - coming while filled up is a wonderful feeling.

I’m a bit nervous now that I’ve started to voice my twisted fantasies here. While I yearn for them I also am a little afraid of them, and I think the fear is part of what makes me aroused.

Sybian and Butt Fucking

Published

Nadia

on July 15, 2009

in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, bondage, masochism, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, squirting and sybian

. 0 Comments

The problem with blogging a few days after an event, is that it’s hard to remember detail. If I had the chance to write this up days ago, it would have been more interesting.

Last Friday, there was no nooky between me and MasterDoc, but he did let me have a sybian ride. We only had the flattop attachment, as we discovered that afternoon that we had left the others at the last party we went to. I’m fine with the flattop though, as I find the sybian ride is mostly about clitoral stimulation for me.

He let me through three intense, amazing orgasms. During one of them, my hips bucked up involuntarily in a pulsing rhythm. When I got off, it turned out I had squirted as there was a spray of liquid in front of the attachment I rode. MasterDoc was a little surprised as squirting frequently requires g-spot stimulation on me.

Clever man that he is, he got me all orgasmed out on the sybian, then put me to work cleaning the kitchen floor! The floor was filthy and I had been thinking about cleaning it for him for ages, so in a way it was a relief to clean. But he only had a decrepit old mop to use, and I spent the entire time bending over, as if I was in a field picking cotton. There was no wringer for this cloth mop, so I bent over and used my hands to wring it out into the pail. Not fun. But I have to say the kitchen floor looks so much better!

Saturday night I saw him again, and the details are fuzzy. I know we had great sex. I know the magic wand was used. I remember that I used the tingling Wet Together (for her) lube and that really intensified the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of me. Rowr.

On Sunday, he was’t yet done with me. He bound me face down on the bed, and put the magic wand right near my clit. I struggled to wriggle down enough so I could keep the vibrating head right against my clit. He’d place it right up against me every now and then, and soon I was begging for orgasm. He let me come, and my body tensed against the cuffs binding me to the bed. This would have been enough for me, but he let me loose and got me to the end of the bed. He hadn’t assfucked me in ages, and he was determined to do it. His big cock slid into my tight asshole. It took a moment to accommodate him comfortably in there. He fucked me, and told me I could hold the magic wand against my clit. The weight of the wand eventually became too much for my hand, but in the meantime it enhanced his fucking my ass. It would hurt now and then, but somehow the pain would turn to pleasure. He let me come, and the combination of my full ass and the magic wand against my clit led to an explosive orgasm. I dropped the wand mid-orgasm and kept coming from the feeling of him fucking my ass. He called me a whore, and it made me come even harder.

I was spent after, and my poor hand was stiff and sore from using the wand. But it was totally worth it.

“He gave them pain like balm, and they begged him for it”

Published

Nadia

on June 24, 2009

in D/s, bdsm, embarrassment, masochism, piss play, porn, sadism, sex, sex toys, spanking and submissive

. 1 Comment

I’m reading a fantasy novel right now, suggested to me a while back by my friend Divasub. It’s called Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey. I’ve just come across the bdsm themes in the book, and now understand why she recommended it to me.

“Alone among angels, Kushiel understood that the act of chastisement was an act of love; and the sinner in his charge too came to understand, and loved him for it. He gave them pain like balm, and they begged him for it, finding in it not redemption, but a love that transcended the divine.”

This flowery prose seemed lovely to me when I read it this morning. Last night MasterDoc was wonderfully dominating and it was so what I needed.

At the start of the evening, we went looking for porn online and found a librarian porn video. I can’t find the link to it now, unfortunately. (UPDATE: MasterDoc gave me the link.) It was very amateur - just one camera angle. But the “librarian” (I think her glasses were meant to identify her as a librarian) wore a collar and wrist and ankle cuffs. There was a definite bdsm overtone to the video. And while going down on the guy, she put her hands between his legs to massage his inner thighs - just like I do with MasterDoc! We laughed and wondered if perhaps someone was inspired by our hijinks.

We tried out my new ceramic vibe. Unfortunately it was not as wonderful as I had hoped. I will review it later. I grabbed the acuvibe mini when told to get another toy and I used that to bring myself just about to the edge of orgasm. MasterDoc then had me stop, bend over the liberator scoop, and he fucked me from behind. He’d spank me every so often. It felt great and I wished that he’d let me come like that. He stopped, and started spanking me with my new crop. When that didn’t seem to be as hard as he’d like, he started spanking me with his hands. It went from painful to incredibly hot. I was on the verge of orgasm (he had me play with my clit at the same time) when he started hitting harder. He told me to come, but the pain had just crossed the threshold from stimulating to painful, so it took me a few seconds to be able to come. But I did manage. I’m surprised I didn’t squirt.

We took a break, and then he had me get on top and ride him. My knees were worn out from exercising earlier in the day, but I managed to ride for a while. I got close to orgasm, and he helped me along by asking if I was ready to come, “Right now.” Often, even if I’m not quite to that point his asking me that will put me on the edge. He told me to come, and I came. While I was coming he said, “Come now cunt, and I’ll piss on you when you’re done.” I decided that I had better enjoy my orgasm while I could, and I came really hard. I hoped that he had been just threatening the pissing. And as we cuddled after I thought perhaps that was the case.

I went to get ready for bed, and when I came back from the bathroom, he was holding my collar. “Put this on,” he said, “And come with me.”

He led me back to the door of the bathroom. It was clear that he hadn’t forgotten or threatened idly when he said he was going to piss on me. He told me to get in the tub, on my knees, and if the tub was cold well that was just tough shit. I did as I was told, wincing at the idea of what he was going to do to me. He made me say I was ready, and made me say that I wanted him to piss on me. I clenched my eyes shut as I couldn’t bear to look. He started to piss on me, and with my eyes closed I could sorta block out what it was, and just enjoy the feeling of warm liquid running over me. I could ignore the faint odor of urine and pretend it wasn’t pee. He told me to hold my tits up. I didn’t react fast enough and he ordered me to do it again. I did as I was told and he pissed all over my tits. The piss ran down my body and I was fairly drenched in it by the time he was done. I tell you, he had to have been saving that up all evening. It seemed to go on a long time.

I was feeling humiliated and stunned afterwards. He told me I could rinse off and he was kind enough to get me a towel to dry off after. I carefully rinsed myself off and patted myself dry. I found that I really needed a hug after that. Humiliation play can be pretty intense, and while I like it I definitely need a hug and reassurance of some sort afterwards. I found that while piss play was every bit as humiliating as I would imagine, I didn’t freak out or fall apart from it. Of course, I don’t know that I would have been so composed if he had pissed in my mouth.

While in theory I don’t like piss play, I have been craving some serious domination lately, and this really fit the bill. I wouldn’t let anyone else piss on me. Only he has that power over me.

I slept soundly last night. And a few minutes after waking I remembered, “Oh jeez! He pissed on me last night!”

Sunday Afternoon

Published

Nadia

on May 11, 2009

in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, cunt, horny, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sadism, sex, sex toys, spanking, squirting and submissive

. 0 Comments

I usually try to keep things in chronological order here, but MasterDoc would like to give me input on my entr(ies) for the party we went to Saturday night. So those will come along once he’s had time to read them and give me feedback.

Meanwhile, we spent Sunday being pretty lazy. Well, I tried being lazy, but as I was giving him a hard time about always drinking beverages I’ve poured for myself (Yeah yeah bad sub, but it gets tiresome. I generally ask him if he wants something to drink when I’m getting something for myself to head this off and be a good submissive, but it doesn’t always work out that way.) and putting off doing the Wii Fit, he told me to go put my collar on. This time it was clear that we weren’t going to get naked. Instead, he ordered me to do my exercise on the Wii Fit. I tried not to grumble as I did so, I was feeling tired and sore from a busy Saturday night (and tripping and landing on the floor at work the day before). But with the collar on I did as I was told, even though I just barely got myself through the half hour of exercise. I took a hot bath afterward and luckily cheered the fuck up after that. While I can be argumentative at times, I find that I really can’t argue with him when he’s making me do something that’s good for me - like exercise. And, well, I have to try very, very hard not to even consider arguing when the collar is on. It’s not that I can’t express disagreement, but I have to phrase it super-respectfully and not whiny.

Later in the day he had me get together a bunch of sex accoutrements - dildoes, lube, condoms and the evil strap. (That’s an actual photo of what he has, but as it’s an ebay auction it will probably expire soon. Here’s a longer term link that is similar. It’s a rubber wrench for removing oil filters.) We only have avanti condoms handy at the moment (we are woefully low on condoms) but MasterDoc pointed out that using polyurethane condoms we could use baby oil as lube.

We set up porn on both our laptops (double porning - whoo hoo!) And he had me sit on the Escape with my legs spread and my pussy within his reach. I was uncomfortably leaning back on my elbows when he pointed out that I could use the Liberator Scoop to lean against. Another use for the Scoop! My legs spread, he spread my labia apart and looked at my pussy intently. He took his time touching me and looking. He had me give him the baby oil and he put some on my pussy. He gently stroked my clit with his oiled up finger. I closed my eyes as the blood started to really flow to my nether regions. He played with my pussy for a while and then asked me what dildoes I had brought out. He had me hand him the glass dildo I reviewed recently. He lubed it up well and started gently pushing it against my vaginal opening. Things felt a little tight at first, but he took his time and soon my body opened up for him. He’d fuck me with the dildo until I was breathing heavy and ready to come, then he’d stop for a moment. He teased me for a while.

He had me get on the Scoop, but we couldn’t get it to work right this time, so we tried the Wedge under my ass. He kept having me slide forward and still we couldn’t get things to work right. So ultimately he had me get on hands and knees. I leaned on a pillow and thrust my ass in the air. He fucked me good. Despite how much cock I had the night before I was still horny the next day, so I was glad he was up for more sex. (I wonder if guys who have insatiably lusty girlfriends ever wonder if that’s a good thing after all?) He started spanking me with the evil strap, asking me if I was ready to come. I was, I was really on the verge of coming. He kept beating me and teasing me for a while. I think he had me start to come while he was still fucking me, sometimes details get fuzzy. (I’m not exactly taking notes at the moment of orgasm.) But at some point he wasn’t fucking me any more, and he was hitting me, pretty hard, with the rubber strap, telling me to keep coming. I still came, despite the pain sometimes getting to be a little too much. I squirted while he hit me. He kept me coming for a while until I was spent.

I lay on the damp pillow after orgasm, catching my breath and basking in the afterglow. I thanked him for my orgasm (no, really, THANK YOU, SIR!). After I had recovered, I cleaned up the sex mess (condoms, wrappers, put toys away, etc.) I’m probably not seeing him for over a week now (just a slight chance of my seeing him this week) and he left me in a very happy state.

The Evil Strap

Published

Nadia

on May 2, 2009

in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, masochism, orgasm denial, sadism, sex, shio, spanking and squirting

. 0 Comments

He hadn’t beaten me in a long time, and I was craving it. I had asked for it a few times recently, but only got a small amount of spanking during sex. The other night, however, he brought out some impact toys. We’re unfortunately missing a few (the black hole of sex toys in his apartment hasn’t been identified yet, despite my bullet vibe turning up and making us hopeful) but of course the evil strap (I should take a picture of it. I forget what he says it’s actually for - it’s a pervertable you see) is still around. Can’t lose that thing.

Funny though, depending on how my pain tolerance is sometimes the evil strap isn’t such a bad thing. I probably shouldn’t say that because there are days where it’s intolerably painful. But Thursday night my pain tolerance was pretty good, and I was so ready for a beating. He spanked me hard with his hands to warm me up. He used the flogger a little, but he really used the rubber strap. But strangely, I liked it. I’m sure he didn’t hit me really hard with it, but while it hurt it also felt really good. He had teased me and gotten me really horny first so I was aching for orgasm and I have to say, I felt almost like the beating by itself could make me come. He got into it, telling me to, “Take it, bitch.” Ooh sometimes I just love when he’s mean.

I’m getting horny writing this.

He had me on my knees for a while, which was difficult as my knees have been a little sore lately. I really struggled to keep myself there without asking to change positions. He fucked me from behind and let me come. Rowr. Hot. Then we rested and I lay down and stretched my legs out. Ah relief.

Next he has me get on top, and again my tired knees and hips were trying to convince me to give up. I struggled to keep the momentum going riding him. But the funny thing is I’d go from aching and thinking I couldn’t keep going, to suddenly not noticing the soreness and fatigue because I was so stimulated by his cock sliding in and out of me. It’s amazing what arousal can do for your stamina. He teased me for quite a while and it felt amazing - when I’m aroused like that it’s such a fine line between feeling wonderful and feeling frustrated. I kept hoping for permission to come but he told me that I wasn’t going to come right then. Aw! I leaned forward, whimpered, and cuddled him as I tried to cool myself down.

Thankfully for my sore knees next time he took me and got on top. My arousal was so high at this point I suppose it’s inevitable that I’d squirt - and when I came I squirted a huge puddle on the pillow underneath my ass. He slapped by clit to keep me coming after he pulled out and I kept right on squirting.

Clover Clamps and Orgasms

Published

Nadia

on March 4, 2009

in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, masochism, nipple clamps, orgasm denial, sadism and sex

. 0 Comments

It started off playful, he nibbled me all over, tickling. I giggled a very girlish giggle and thought about how much I love that we have playful time as well as serious time. Then he slowed down and firmly kissed and licked my side. I was instantly turned on, lulled into a sleepy pleasurable state. Ever modest he said, “Aren’t I good?” I had to admit that yes, he is good. There was a lot of stroking and caressing last night, and I was feeling horny to begin with - so even the slightest touch had me feeling hot.

He instructed me to look in the drawer for the slapper, but apparently it’s gone missing, along with a few other toys. (There seems to be a black hole in his apartment, sucking up sex toys lately. It’s the oddest thing. I’m sure they’ll turn up.) Failing that he asked me what the closest thing was in the toy drawer. “Nothing good,” I said impishly, meaning that nothing I would look forward to that evening was available. There was the big paddle and the evil strap. I only mentioned the paddle. He changed tack and asked me if the clover clamps were in the drawer. Yikes. I gave him a pleading look - no, please not those! They were a gift from a submissive of his who is no longer his submissive, and the running joke has been that since she’d given them to him he hasn’t found another woman who can take them. They’re vicious things, really tight and painful and if you pull on the chain they tighten even more. I can’t take them, although he’s talked about trying to work me up to it lately. I gave him the clamps and kept the worried look on my face. I kept looking over at my collar in the drawer, thinking if we were going to do this then I would definitely need to have my collar on. Indeed, he told me I had better put my collar on.

He had me kneel on all fours in front of him, so that my breasts dangled and were in easy reach. He flicked my nipples with his fingers and I braced myself. He told me to breathe deeply and slowly and I did my best to do so. He put the first clamp on my right nipple. Oh dear god it hurt. I struggled to breathe slowly and tried to ride out the pain. I dealt with it much better than I thought I would, but it really is one of the most painful things he’s done to me. He went to put the other clamp on the other nipple but it snapped and I let out a yelp. Apparently something was wrong with that one so the clamps were abandoned early, but I had had quite enough. They were probably on for less than a minute, but it felt like an eternity. And kinky perv that I am, I thought the whole thing was terribly, terribly hot. Something you can’t understand when you’re vanilla is how taking pain for your Dominant is an extremely sexy, intimate, loving thing to do. I feel amazing when I’ve submitted to him to that degree.

My nipples are still tender today, but they were left alone for the rest of the evening. I lay down next to him and we watched some porn. He had me play with myself (I always need prompting, it’s really odd) and I used the nea on my clit. I was writhing and moaning, close to orgasm, in no time. I can’t remember if I asked for permission to come or if I just yearned to ask.

Before coming, he had me put a condom on his cock and get on all fours. He fucked me from behind and it was delicious. He made me hold out, not coming, for the longest time. Oh how I wanted to come! How I thought I would come even without permission because I was so on the edge. I struggled to hold back, and he told me to keep it right there, right on the edge of orgasm. He pushed me further and further. I was completely desperate for orgasm by this time - even more so than usual. But when he gave me permission to come - I came over and over again. First with his cock inside me, and then with him slapping my clit. He let me come an exceptionally long time and I savored every second of it.

We rested for a bit, and I told him that he’s amazing. I’m sure his ego doesn’t need to hear that but it’s so very true. A short while later, he had me get his cock hard again and get on top. I rode him, and he commented on how I’m getting better at it. I felt my clit and labia rubbing against his body as I fucked him. Every centimeter of my genitals was tingling. He let me come and come I did. My muscles pushed his cock out and I continued to come from the sensation of my labia and clit rubbing against his hard cock.

Sadistic Streak

Published

Nadia

on November 21, 2008

in sadism, stupid people and venting

. 0 Comments

I’ve been feeling a bit blase about blogging and twittering this week. I have this persistent feeling of being an outsider in the blogger community, and it’s probably just my own insecurity talking. At any rate, I did experience something amusing today and I thought I’d share.

I was feeling my oats so to speak today. MasterDoc left me in the car, double parked, as he went to pick up his repaired laptop. A spot opened up, so I decided to take it rather than staying double parked. Well, as is common in squeezing into small parallel parking spots in NYC I lightly bumped the bumper of the car in front of me. All would have been fine but the guy whose car it was was inside the computer repair shop. He comes out, furious and starts berating me for hitting his 2009 car. I first go the concilliatory route and say, “I’m sorry. I am sorry,” in response to his bitching. But then my spirited side got in the mix and I said to him, “It’s the city, what do you expect?” Fact is, there was no mark on his car and if he hadn’t been right there he would have had no idea I bumped him. I get really annoyed with people who make their cars this huge priority. It’s a fucking car. You use it to get from place to place. A tiny scratch on your bumper is so fucking inevitable in New York City. Get over it.

So I’m in this spirited mood as MasterDoc and I go on to lunch. We’re passing the restaurant, looking for parking. Yes, parking in New York City. As you can imagine spaces are at a premium. One opens up just in front of us down the road and we go to take it, when a limousine driver cuts in front of us from the other side of the street and makes a u-turn to get the spot. MasterDoc is not having any of this, and as the guy goes to back into the spot he pulls in head first. So we end up in this stand off with the limo driver where neither of us quite in the spot and neither of us is willing to budge.

I settle in for the wait and say, “Oh well guess we’re sitting here for a bit.” Heh. MasterDoc says that’s something he likes about me - I get into the spirit of the thing. The limo driver had so obviously been a dick that a guy comes along walking down the street and he tells him off as he walks by. *chuckle* MasterDoc returns a call as we sit and I feel great delight in being more stubborn than the limo driver. Eventually, the limo driver gives up, makes a rude gesture to us as he pulls away and we chuckle and park the car.

As we walk to the restaurant the limo driver passes by saying, “Bastard!” And I just think this is the funniest thing in the world and burst out laughing at him, loudly. At that point MasterDoc comments on how I seem to have a sadistic side, and after some thought I have to agree. When someone’s being a total dick I take great pleasure in making them suffer. I thought the limo driver’s anger was hysterical. I would have taken great pleasure in flogging him or trampling his nuts or something. I’m so often the submissive/bottom/masochist I forget that occasionally, just occasionally, I take delight in the suffering of others. I don’t think this little tidbit will turn me into a switch, but just know that even though I’m submissive, I’m not a doormat and I can be bitchy when the occasion calls for it.

This reminds me of something I was saying to MasterDoc recently. He asked me what I was thinking one time when I looked lost in thought. I said that I was contemplating if I was switch, I could find a submissive man to do my chores around MasterDoc’s for me. I could sub-contract them out. He thought that was pretty funny and I have to say some days I wonder if it’s a viable option. I’m hardly a Domme, so I don’t know I’d have much to offer a sub man, but perhaps there’s one out there who takes joy in serving and would like being treated like a beloved pet. A girl can dream.